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Chapter 1: What makes the BP gas station the hottest dining spot in Atlanta?
And welcome back to WSHIT's morning news. WSHIT, fair and almost balanced. In local news, crab appleans turned out in force. For yesterday's education department election, with almost 133 crab appleans going to the polls, it marks the largest turnout for any election in crab apple history. Debbie DuBlas walks away victorious with 122 votes. of the 133 votes.
While Debbie has many Krabappelians' support, some citizens found her a controversial choice after she was accused of starting a gonorrhea outbreak on her block. Debbie wasted no time celebrating her victory. She had this to say to her supporters on her social media this morning.
I am fuckin' horny, goddammit. I am trying to wear some slutty man like a combination butt plug and backpack. Like, just shove that boner up my butthole and jump on my back. Cause we got chores to do and you're buying me lunch, bitch. Please book a cameo.
Link in bio.
Chapter 2: What experiences do Bryan and Krissy share about Magic City?
This is the third time Debbie has run for president of Crabapple's education department. While she won last election cycle, a judge ruled she would be unable to serve in that position after she admitted being in a throuple with two high school students. Along with her cameo, Debbie announced that she'll be minting the Double D meme coin.
She encouraged supporters, especially her elderly supporters, to dump as much of their retirement fund as possible into this non-securitized currency that has almost no value. Debbie explained this was not a grift, but simply a way for people to support a cause that also has almost no value. That's all the news that's fit to print for Crabapple. We'll be back after this commercial break.
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On this episode of the Commercial Break.
But it's just weird. I just don't know that I would go to the BP for dinner.
I kind of want to go now.
You go and you tell me what it's like. I got kids. I can't afford to go.
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Chapter 3: How did Debbie DuBlas win the Crabapple Education Board election?
I've got downtown covered. I'm the downtown correspondent.
Yeah, you go downtown. I'll stay OTP. Yeah. I'll do the OTP stuff. I'll go to like, you know, the pumpkin patch.
Yeah.
The fall festivals. I'll do that. How's that?
You monitor the next door.
I'll do the cherry blossom festival. You do the BP dinner and Magic City strip club.
They're doing a documentary about Magic City.
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Chapter 4: What are the implications of 23andMe selling DNA data?
It's famous. Have you ever been to Magic City? I have. Yes. You have to go to Magic City. Magic City is magic. Oh, yeah. Listen, it is not for the faint of heart.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Oh, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Greene. This is my dear friend and the co-host of the show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe.
Chapter 5: What updates are there on Fyre Fest 2 and its controversies?
Thanks for joining us on this beautiful, lovely day here in Atlanta, Georgia. Let us talk about the weather for 30 minutes to make sure and piss everybody else off and the rest of the country. It's cold up north. It's warm down here, so we're up for a good weekend. Anyway, I was watching... John Mulaney's show on Netflix. It's L.A. or L.A. Live or whatever. What are they calling that?
John Mulaney Live? I don't know. What do they call that show? Yeah, I think it is. Everybody's Live with John Mulaney.
Chapter 6: What are the risks associated with using DNA testing services?
Oh, Everybody's Live. And I saw two of our good friends on there. I saw Lunel and Pete Davidson.
Okay.
And we've never talked to Pete Davidson, but I one time was in the same room with him, and so I feel like we're friends. I feel like we're friends. You are. Yeah, I was there with him right before he went to rehab. So I feel like we have this special connection, he and I. And even though he has no idea who I am, I was in the room, Pete. I saw it all go down.
He was explaining, Lunel was busting his chops about Kim Kardashian, busting his balls about dating Kim Kardashian. And he was hilariously explaining that, yes, I dated Kim Kardashian, and now I laugh about it. Like, now I realize just how ridiculous that was. I laugh about it. And I'm glad.
Chapter 7: How do Bryan and Krissy feel about the future of Fyre Fest?
That shows some self-awareness on Pete's behalf. I think he went on a run there where he was, like, dating people for PR. You know what I'm saying? Like, maybe not on purpose. Maybe he liked Kim.
But, like, also... Well, there was Ariana Grande, who he was engaged to, I believe.
I think so.
Yeah. And Kim, obviously. I can imagine, though, it's hard not to get swept up. You know, they met on Saturday Night Live. Yeah. She was a guest. And I can imagine if she's showing interest to him, it's... It would be hard not to get swept up in that.
Chapter 8: What lessons can be learned from the Fyre Fest debacle?
Like, oh, my God.
Hey, listen, when one of the most famous figures in the world, and I mean that literally and figuratively, one of the most famous figures in the world is paying you some attention. You know, if you're into that kind of thing, of course, it's going to be there. Kim Kardashian, not my thing. I'd much rather go with it's Khloe, Kim. Who's the third sister? Khloe, Kim, and Kourtney.
I think Kourtney is the prettiest of the group.
Kourtney's the oldest, yeah.
Yeah, I think she's the prettiest of the group. That's just my opinion. I mean, there's the younger Kardashians or whoever they are, but it's a little too young for me. I got daughters. But I was never really into Kim Kardashian. It was never my thing. It was never my style. But that's okay. She's a beautiful woman. Yeah.
So Pete, being kind of this goofball stoner character, all of a sudden dating this string of incredibly beautiful women was quite the run. Epic. If I don't mind saying so myself, that is Warren Beatty level epic. A Warren Beatty level run there he went on for a little while. But now he's realizing just how silly it all looked. And I'm glad.
He was really in the crosshairs, too, with Kanye. Because that was right when they were divorcing.
Yeah, they were sending voicemails back and forth. I'd be scared to send Kanye that kind of voicemail. Like maybe not. Maybe if I was in it, I would be like, OK, Kanye, you got to settle the fuck down. What's going on? But I just think that Kanye is so unhinged. And I realize most of it is like this troll character he's playing. But there are also a lot of people.
But then the people who follow Kanye are not all of them, but some of them probably have some, you know, like tinker toys in their head. And I'd be nervous. I'd be nervous that those people would want me.
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