Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
And welcome back to WSHIT 715 News. It's news you can use before you snooze. In breaking news, the whole world is talking about the astronauts who became astronauts by not even traveling to space. In a giant leap forward for humanity, these five brave souls took a very short plane flight, risking life, limb, and pedicures, and somehow managed to find a way back to Earth safely.
leaving the entire world in awe and not a dry eye in the house. Our intrepid WSHIT reporter on the ground managed to catch some of the first words out of one of these astronauts mouths. Words that will certainly be written about and remembered in the history books. These words are already reverberating around the entire globe.
Chapter 2: What happened during Katy Perry's space flight?
Such profundity could only be expected from someone who experienced such a journey. Let's listen to that clip now.
are officially an astronaut. Thank you so much. How do you feel? I feel super connected to love. So connected to love. I think this experience has shown me you never know how much love is inside of you, like how much love you have to give and how loved you are until the day you launch.
The astronauts went on to say that they only survived the ordeal because they hung on to their motto of taking up space. Taking up space indeed. These brave humans truly are putting the ass back in astronaut. We'll be back after this commercial break.
On this episode of the commercial break, That is the one thing that I will say about this is think whoever that you pray to or meditate to. They did come back alive.
Deep breath, Brian.
Just as vapid as I thought I was. So self-important. Thank God. Thank God me, Katy Perry, did not blow up because I put the ass back in astronaut.
She's got floor and sunshines on, like, high-heeled boots, too.
Yeah, because that's what you wear to space.
That's the all-purpose shoes you want to take to space is high-heeled boots. Oh, my God.
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Chapter 3: How did the astronauts feel after their flight?
Yes, there has. And I think rightfully so. If I'm being honest, I think rightfully so. I don't argue anybody's right to go to space.
Yeah, no, but why didn't they just say, we just wanted to do this and go up really, really high. Go on the best ride. Of our lives.
We're going on a really cool roller coaster that cost a billion and a half dollars to complete this journey from one end to the other. Instead, they're acting as if they're the first people to step on Mars. And it's ridiculous how self-important all these people just think they are when there are so many things going on in this universe. That need addressing.
The resources.
Yeah, the resources, the time, the air time. The Kardashians did the play-by-play. That's all you got to know about this is the Kardashians. The noted rocket scientist, Kim Kardashian and her mother. Yeah. We're invited to do the commentary on the space mission liftoff thing. And it was just about as dumb as... It was a PR stunt like I have never seen. Yeah, really?
I mean, since the Tyson-Paul brother fight, I have never seen a PR stunt so stupid in my entire life. But that's the name of the game in 2025. How dumb... Can you be and draw as much attention to yourself as possible?
But what really caps this off, listen, I think if they had gone to space and then told everybody post, if they had gone to the Kármán line and told everybody post Kármán line, hey, you know what I did? I got a ride on a rocket ship and it was really cool. You know, didn't really mean anything, but at least I took a ride. We did it. Congratulations.
But all the hype leading up to it, all the press leading up to it, and then the press afterwards. puts the icing on the cake. Now, I know you've seen some of this, but I wanted to quickly get into reviewing the press conference, the absolute fluffing that took place after these ladies landed on Earth. Now, we're in a very staged, I just want to set it up for the listener.
You can go to youtube.com slash the commercial break. We're on a stage. It's very staged. There are cactuses on each end because they're in the desert. They have to let you know they're in the desert.
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Chapter 4: What are the reactions to the astronauts' press conference?
There's a huge image of the penis right behind Katy Perry's head. And then the audience is filled with press. and family and friends. So all the other rich folks are in there also applauding the journey to nowhere, essentially. So I'm going to skip all of the complete nonsense that is the human being. I think she's a sports reporter for ESPN. She is doing the, like, Yeah, she's the interview.
She is the moderator of this panel. All the, I'm not going to call them astronauts, all the ladies who went on the ship, on the Dick ship, they're all sitting there in their spacesuits, which are highly tailored to their physical forms.
I mean, honestly. Yeah, well, apparently Sanchez, what's her, Lauren Sanchez. Lauren Sanchez, yeah. She designed or got the, you know, commissioned the design and everything.
Oh, my God. Honestly, it looks like they're posing for an Instagram. It looks like they're Instagram influencers in these. That is not a spaceship suit. I mean, listen, I also don't argue that astronauts should be comfortable and look good doing their job. But this is so these are so highly tailored, like every inch of Katy Perry is seen in this highly tight fitting suit. space anyway.
Okay, here we go. Ready? I'm going to skip all the fluff. We're about 10 minutes in. They're getting to the question and answer part. First, we're going to hear from Lauren Sanchez, then Katy Perry. Then, if we cannot throw up on ourselves, we'll eventually get to Oprah's best friend. Okay, here we go. And bear with me. I've got to jump around this a little bit.
And since I'm not, you know, we're not I'm not Howard Stern. I don't have the ability to just like jump from one clip to the next. I'm going to have to scroll through. So hold on here. Okay.
What about as I heard you speaking and I want to get into it with all of you guys. First of all, just, I felt like. Yes, please. I want to get into it. I want to get into it.
I want to take a deep dive on your shallow flight.
We should all do one big breath in and one.
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Chapter 5: What insights does Frankie B share about being a better man in your 50s?
It didn't blow up?
Yeah, that it didn't blow up. Well, you know what?
Because I don't know what else could have happened.
Exactly.
Like a big sigh of relief. You were supposed to come back down after a few minutes.
Seven seconds in space. Yeah. With absolutely no images to prove that you were there. Yeah.
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Chapter 6: What tips does Frankie B provide for men over 50?
That is the one thing that I will say about this is think whoever that you pray to or meditate to, they did come back alive. Deep breath, Brian. Yeah. just as vapid as i thought i was so self-important thank god thank god me katie perry did not blow up because i put the ass back in astronaut
She's got floor and sunshines on like high heel boots too.
Yeah. Cause that's what you wear to space. That's the all purpose shoes you want to take to space. It's high heel boots.
Oh my God. Just this incredible experience that you've had. And I know all your friends and family that are here in the front few rows also feel like we should just take a deep breath. So shall we do it? Okay. I'm going to count down from three. We're going to breathe in and out. I love yoga. Here we go.
Oh, my God. I'm already sick to my stomach about this.
Three, two, one.
Okay, don't we all feel better? Aren't I doing a great job of conducting this press conference? How professional am I?
Okay, I know I do. Lauren?
I know I do. Well, thank God for me.
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Chapter 7: How can grooming impact a man's confidence?
I love yoga, by the way. I love yoga and long walks on the beach.
I want to start with you.
In researching... I have to start with you because Jeff told me to start with you.
Yeah. This entire process, I heard a lot about the overview effect and it was something that I didn't know anything about. But what I have learned that you... Learned.
With a T. Well, that's all it was, right?
It was to go up there and see the overview.
Curvature of space. Yeah, and come back down. By the way, there are pictures. You can do that. There are pictures. Other people have taken pictures.
Now, we'll be able to share, to experience, is because when people that go up to space and see Earth from space, they come back and their perception of Earth is different. How has your perception of Earth changed now? I know, albeit it's only an hour or so since you've been back, but how do you feel? Yeah, definitely still processing, right? We all talked about that.
We all had a little powwow before we came out, got Botox, and then we came out and got additional Botox. Holy shit. Cat lady on the way to cat lady? Right, it is very cat lady-like.
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Chapter 8: What dietary changes does Frankie recommend for better health?
We have one planet, because out there, it's dark. It is, you know, William Shatner even said this when he went to space, and now I understand what he was talking about. It's like death. And, um...
Mmm, Katy Perry in the audience. Mmm.
It's like death.
I don't even understand what she said, but it sounded really pretty.
No, it just made me want to... Yeah. Just come back with an open heart. And it really opened me wide open. And hopefully I can bring that to other people and also just protect them.
Yeah, there's a lot of other people that could use that open heart empathy. I look forward to seeing it.
Planet we're on. I mean, this is the only one we've got. So I'm completely and utterly humbled by this experience. That's why the yacht that I get on next week.
The yacht that consumes 75 million gallons of diesel every five minutes. And by the way, we're going to make the boxes even bigger for Amazon. You ordered one razor, a 12 foot by 12 foot by 12 foot box.
Wow. And beyond grateful. Absolutely. There are so many people on this planet that you love and care about. You have one in particular that you would like to highlight today. Who is that?
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