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Chapter 1: What struggles does Bryan face while performing at the engagement party?
On this episode of the Commercial Break.
Well, Raphael goes over and just commandeers the couch. And he's like, sit here, bro. And I'm like, I thought we were going to do this on the side of the house or something. Like... Do you want to warm up a little bit? Away from ears. If I'm going to play for my kids, cool. They're going to be impressed with anything. But you want to play to actual adults. And so, you know, no, no, no, no, no.
We've got to do it in front of everybody. Let's provide some music. Let's have a little sing-along. And I'm like, sing-along.
Chapter 2: How has Bryan's view on music changed over the years?
What would you like? Sunny Side Up or Black by Pearl Jam? Which party starter would you like? Which party starter would you like?
I'm picturing the whole thing. Which depressing song would you like me to whoop out for you? The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Yeah, boys! Oh, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green, this is my dead friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen.
Best to you, Brian.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. If I look tan, it's because I am. I'm a man with a plan, going to get a tan.
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Chapter 3: What humorous moments occur during the performance?
Yeah, I got a little, like, for years I had been a member at that tanning place. And for years, unbeknownst to me... They were charging you. Well, they were charging me. Of course they were charging me. They were charging me the most amount of money. Yeah. So they were sending me these every month. I got, like, a free... guest tan.
But I was being charged so much that I could literally go into any tanning bed at any time for any reason.
Chapter 4: How does the podcast discuss the evolution of WWE and its characters?
I could go in the middle of the night. I had keys to the place. I just didn't know it, right? They were charging me like the most amount of money ever. It's like $120 a month. It was ridiculous. I mean, I can go to the gym and sleep there for $30 a month. They were charging me $125. My wife was so pissed. Jeju. I could do a week at Jeju and get a massage every day for $125. Tip included.
But unbeknownst to me also is that, you know, when you check your spam folder, sometimes you find something good in there. They were giving me a guest pass every month.
Yeah.
And that guest pass, speaking of my wife, she's calling me right now because she can hear me talking about the tanning bed.
Yeah.
She's on the stream listening to the tanning. So they're giving me this guest pass and then the guest pass could be used for a free tan. Well, it expires after 90 days.
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Chapter 5: What insights are shared about Tucker Carlson's recent interview?
So I canceled my tanning membership when I got the gym membership. But then I realized that every month I had this free tan that I was getting that I could give to whoever. So I called them up because I haven't been to the gym in a while. And it is better tanning beds at the other place. Like the one the tanning beds at the gym are like, you know, the redder, the better. Yeah.
Tina tan and tweeze kind of shit.
Yeah.
Very basic. Very old. Probably used. Those light bulbs are likely unchanged in years. It's giving you the worst kind of UV without any results. You know what I'm saying? At least at the tanning bed, they have to keep up with the business because that's their business. They have the really fancy machines that are supposedly better for your skin.
Yeah, I used to work in one when I was in high school.
Yeah. And so I called her up. There's an older lady that manages the place.
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Chapter 6: Why do listeners find the commentary on the political landscape engaging?
Her name is Miranda. And we struck a friendship because I know that name. That name sounds familiar to me. And so we struck a friendship. And so I called and I said, hey, Miranda, it's me, Brian. You know me. We have names in common. And she said, oh, yeah, how are you? And I said, good. And she said, I go, can I use the guest pass? Because I see they're going to expire after 90 days.
So I think I have like three or four of them that I could potentially use. Could I use that for myself?
I know it's a guest pass.
And she said, not technically allowed, but you're not a member anymore.
So I guess you can do it.
So I go in there and I signed up for this place years ago. I mean, this is like year for years. They were charging me thousands of dollars every year. So I go in there, and I'm talking with Miranda, and I say, okay, thanks so much.
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Chapter 7: What personal anecdotes does Bryan share about his relationships?
She goes, yeah, no problem. She goes, honestly, you know, if you ever want a free tan, just come in and see me. But if you ever get a tan package, you know, come see us. And I was like, yeah, that's good business, of course. I said, what are the tan packages going for these days? And she goes, you really only use this one bed ever, don't you? And I'm like, yeah, I'm a heat bit. I'm a man.
I'm a creature of habit. There's so much unknown in this world. We like to know. That's true. We love the devil we know. That's the truth.
We talked about that with restaurants, too.
Yes, with restaurants. We are comfort food kind of creatures. We like what we know. I will eat the same thing for months in a row. I have never used any other tanning room except for number two.
Chapter 8: How does Bryan reflect on the meaning of family and friendships?
I just haven't. I don't know why. The rest of them scare me. I don't know how they work. They could have buttons.
Those things are huge. Those things could be really huge, too.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And this tanning bed is like a clamshell. I have to have instructions sometimes on how to use it because there's different settings and stuff like that. So I've asked people. I'm not going to take a chance on my beautiful skin getting redder than ever. So I say, hey, Miranda. Let me ask you a couple of cues here. That's what the kids are saying these days.
Let me ask you a couple of cues here. What are the tanning packages going for these days? I remember I was paying $125 a month. And she said, oh. I don't think we have that package anymore. I said, really? And she goes, no, the most we charge is $83. And that's like tan all the time, spray tans anytime, you know, all the red light therapy, the accoutrement.
Right, right, right.
Yeah. And I said, so what kind of package would I get if I'm only using number two ever? And she's like, it'd be about $39 a month. And I said, $39 a month. And she said, yeah. And I go, why was I paying $125? She said, well, that was our old package. You were grandfathered in. At the highest level possible. And no one ever alerted me that it probably should be much lower.
So I'm taking full advantage of my four free tans. So that's why I have a little glow in my face. Also, managing the pool, the pool.
Well, I was going to say, it's been so beautiful. We desperately need rain, but it's been really beautiful.
It's gorgeous here today. Yeah, it's gorgeous here today. It's been gorgeous for the last couple of days. I have to go back to New York next week. It's freezing cold up there. I just talked to someone up there and they said, yeah, it's not like it. Last week it was 85 degrees. I was sweating through my shirts.
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