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The Commercial Break

Hit 'Em With The Helicopter

09 Jan 2025

Transcription

Chapter 1: What shocking moments do Bryan & Krissy discuss from Naked Attraction?

0.031 - 22.056 Unknown

yeah do you have a dry i'm doing dry january i would love a dry savvy b yeah i do have a nice and dry oh yeah yeah all right we'll do a bottle a bottle right for the dry january on this episode of the commercial break

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22.525 - 35.505 Bryan Green

It's fascinating. It really is fascinating. It is. And like we mentioned yesterday in the show, these are not supermodels that are on the show. Obviously, there are some good-looking human beings on there. But by and large, these are regular people.

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35.725 - 38.99 Unknown

A jeweler. A chef. A chef. Your neighbor.

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39.01 - 41.854 Bryan Green

The girl at the gas station. That guy with the small penis.

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43.797 - 48.364 Unknown

The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.

48.901 - 50.624 Bryan Green

I get ass.

Chapter 2: How has Keanu Reeves changed perceptions about celebrity relationships?

50.644 - 57.997 Bryan Green

Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the voice of reason in the room. Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

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58.077 - 58.458 Unknown

Best to you, Brian.

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58.478 - 71.922 Bryan Green

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Can I say that I am very proud of Keanu Reeves? It seems Keanu Reeves can do no wrong. And he's honestly maybe one of the few people.

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71.902 - 97.099 Bryan Green

good humans left on this earth and that includes me like i'm not one of the good humans on earth i'm saying of all the humans on earth keanu seems like one of the good humans he does he's constantly doing the right thing he's constantly taking care of those around him stopping and taking pictures and giving you know showing up at charity events and giving the children what they want and he just seems like a really good dude like a guy who cracked the matrix like

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97.079 - 108.969 Bryan Green

honestly went into The Matrix, came out, understands how to do it, how to be a good human being, how to do the right thing in most circumstances, how to say the right things, how to be honest and organic in almost every situation.

109.029 - 110.27 Unknown

He had an excellent adventure.

Chapter 3: What insights do the hosts share about Matt Damon's career choices?

110.791 - 136.454 Bryan Green

He had an excellent adventure. I mean, all the actors, if you would have gone back to 1988, and all the actors, you could have said, they're going to end up being one of the most famous, well-loved, well-known actors ever in the history of cinema. Keanu Reeves would be the last person you would have picked. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure was the worst acting in the history of cinema.

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136.474 - 140.998 Bryan Green

Maybe not the worst, but pretty close to the worst acting in the history of cinema. Even though we all loved the movie.

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141.098 - 142.079 Unknown

Oh, yeah.

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142.099 - 156.133 Bryan Green

It did not age well. And as an adult, you can clearly see how ridiculous that movie is and how terrible those two are at acting. Keanu Reeves, I just would have never imagined. No. that he would be the guy we all love and adore.

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156.253 - 168.05 Bryan Green

I mean, he's lovable even in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, but I just wouldn't have imagined him being this guy, this man that he's turned into, that he's quite amazing in every way.

168.571 - 171.816 Unknown

He seems like it. I don't read a bad fucking thing about the guy.

Chapter 4: What is the latest drama involving Brianna Chicken Fry?

171.836 - 172.136 Unknown

I know.

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172.918 - 191.611 Bryan Green

He's always out there, shaking hands and kissing babies, making love to the camera, looking good, acting well. What happened? How do we get whatever Keanu has? And man, that skin. Can we talk about that skin? Amazing. He's beautiful. He's a beautiful man. I love him. I have a man crush on Keanu Reeves.

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191.631 - 194.016 Krissy Hoadley

Join the club. We all love Keanu.

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194.216 - 197.583 Bryan Green

She's gay pan and she loves Keanu. Gapan.

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Chapter 5: How does Naked Attraction challenge traditional dating norms?

197.603 - 205.762 Bryan Green

Yeah, Gapan. She's gay pan. Christina's gay pan and she loves... See, she only loves people for the right reasons.

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205.782 - 207.305 Krissy Hoadley

Keanu's my perfect little prince.

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207.445 - 207.726 Bryan Green

Yes.

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207.786 - 208.667 Krissy Hoadley

He's my little prince.

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208.708 - 210.971 Bryan Green

I love him. She would go straight for Keanu.

210.991 - 212.454 Krissy Hoadley

Yeah, you're damn right I would.

212.474 - 233.525 Bryan Green

Hey, listen. I would hit you over the head with a pan. With a go-pan if you said you weren't. All right, so... Let me explain why this has been solidified in my mind forever and ever. For the first time that I can remember, I saw a picture of Keanu with his girlfriend.

Chapter 6: What are the hosts' opinions on body confidence and attraction?

233.766 - 238.293 Unknown

And his girlfriend is age-appropriate. Oh, yeah.

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238.333 - 239.475 Bryan Green

How is this even possible?

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239.495 - 240.617 Unknown

He's been with her for a long time.

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240.877 - 247.107 Bryan Green

How is this possible? How did Keanu Reeves get an age-appropriate girlfriend? It's unbelievable to me. Are they married?

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247.488 - 247.708

I think so.

247.688 - 250.19 Bryan Green

I think it said girlfriend, but I could be wrong.

250.571 - 253.914 Unknown

I thought that maybe they got married, but they've been together for a long time.

254.475 - 261.842 Bryan Green

Oh, have they? This is the first picture I've ever seen of Keanu and his girlfriend. They were on a red carpet somewhere. And she is perfectly age appropriate.

Chapter 7: What humorous moments arise during the Naked Attraction review?

262.002 - 266.406 Bryan Green

He's in his 50s. She's in her 50s. They look lovely together. She's a beautiful woman.

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266.466 - 267.207 Krissy Hoadley

He's 60.

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267.367 - 268.248 Bryan Green

He's 60?

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268.268 - 271.832 Krissy Hoadley

Yeah. He's 60? Yeah. And I don't think he's married.

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271.892 - 274.755 Bryan Green

Fuck you, Keanu.

274.775 - 277.257 Unknown

You're 60 and you look like that? Uh-huh.

277.237 - 282.426 Bryan Green

God damn. Not a bit of, I mean, maybe a little Botox here and there, but there can't be a bit of plastic surgery on that guy.

Chapter 8: How do the hosts wrap up their thoughts on the episode's themes?

282.746 - 292.082 Bryan Green

He just looks great. He looks great. And his girlfriend is beautiful and she's in her 50s. Got to be in her 50s. 51, I think. 51. Perfectly age appropriate.

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292.103 - 296.11 Krissy Hoadley

She's an artist. Yeah, she's got gray hair. Alexandra Grant.

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296.21 - 303.083 Bryan Green

Yeah, Alexandra Grant. Wow. Wow. I mean, if you molded someone in a PR machine.

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303.244 - 305.047 Krissy Hoadley

I mean, nine years, age appropriate.

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305.788 - 309.596 Bryan Green

Nine years at 60 is perfect. I think that's perfectly appropriate.

309.616 - 310.838 Krissy Hoadley

At 60 it's fine, at 20 it's not.

310.818 - 335.441 Bryan Green

Yeah, Bezos is dating someone who's like 32 and he's 76 years. Let's not get into that. Yeah, let's not even get into that. The disparity in age between most Hollywood actors and their girlfriends. Look at Leonardo DiCaprio. As soon as they turn 26 years old, they're out the door. He changes girlfriends like I change toilet paper rolls. And no knock against Leonardo.

335.461 - 374.72 Bryan Green

I don't think he's doing anything wrong. No. To see that Keanu Reeves is dating someone in their 50s when he's 60 and so incredibly good looking, so incredibly handsome, so incredibly rich, just so well put together, makes me believe that Keanu actually is a good person.

374.76 - 375.501 Unknown

Substance.

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