Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
would you pay 70 pounds for a cuddle i don't like being touched by strangers i know i pay 70 pounds to not be cuddled on this episode of the commercial break
No, you. And then she's like, no, you're so sweet. And then you're like, no, it's you, sweetie, that's so sweet. And then she says, no, you're so sweet, sweet. And then you say, I'll take extra syrup with my pancakes. You know how many freebies I've gotten that way? Just blowjobs right under the table. Works every time.
You know how many old ladies are giving me head, taking out their dentures and knocking one off in the bathroom?
Chapter 2: How does the holiday season affect podcast production?
It's because I flirt with everybody.
Everyone.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Oh yeah, Captain Kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Greene. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Holdley.
Best to you, Kristen.
Best to you, Brian.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. Happy Friday after Halloween. Halloweeny. Thank you very much.
Ooh.
And so now it's November 1st and it's officially holiday season. Holiday season is here. But no rest for us, Chrissy.
That's right, Brian.
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Chapter 3: What is Hyperthyroiditis and how does it impact the hosts?
Bah humbug indeed. Bowling our stockings for the holiday season. But I thought it was an important time to let people know that, you know, some podcasts do take off for the holiday season. We will not be taking off any time for the holiday season.
No rest for us.
Yes, we've taken off enough time. Yes, exactly. Between my parathyroid, your menfo, and all the trips we've taken. We've taken off enough time this year, and we're contractually obligated to meet a certain amount of episodes. I think that's 3,000 per year. So we're only at 2,800. So we will be live with fresh episodes. I say live. You know what I mean.
We'll be fresh episoding it the entire holiday season, including the 12 Days of TCB, our first ever 12 Days of TCB, December 13th through the 25th, through Christmas Day. Brand new episodes for you to enjoy. So enjoy your holiday vacation with some mediocre comedy.
Yeah, get the family around the Yuletide and blast up TCB.
Turn on TCB. Let the kids open up presents while Brian talks about shaving his balls. What's a better gift than that? What better gift than to hear Brian talk about his high calcium and low T. It'll be fun for the whole family. The kids will love it. And for our Jewish friends, light the candles and Light the candles. And spin the dreidel.
Yeah, and listen to Brian talk about dipping his balls in wine.
Which, oh my God, we saw it on... The D.D.
Cantor is officially a thing. I mean... It's crazy.
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Chapter 4: What are the key points from the 'How To Be Sexual (Like A Man)' presentation?
This is a Chateau Maman 1967. Would you like to stick your hairy teeth in it? Yes, sommelier. I exfoliated this morning. I just not foliated. My buds are blooming and ready for the tasting.
Yes, it's good.
I can imagine being at Hal's or something like that. Just whipping out your nuts. Dipping them in the canter.
Would you like to taste it with your tongue or your testicles?
Well, now that you ask, do you mind?
I can see the kids bringing their wives and husbands home with all the kids and I'm just around the table like Clark Griswold.
Exactly.
And I break out a bottle of wine. I've been saving this for a very special occasion. And I pour it into like a cereal bowl. Just take out my testicles and dip it in there.
Yep. Yep. Chef's kiss. Chef's kiss. So delicious. That's good. Go ahead and pour that for everybody. You don't mind if I take a second taste, do you? Don't want to be wasteful. No. Let every drip drop back into the bowl, into the decanter. That's the special stuff. That's the good stuff.
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Chapter 5: How does flirting play a role in social interactions?
I mean, the restaurant's not very big. It probably holds like 150 people. And everyone, they brought it out like with such gallantry. And there's this special decanter that came on a plate that had all these like, you know, it looked like a science experiment. Like tubes that swirled and all this stuff.
Yeah.
The poor kid opens up the wine and starts pouring it into the decanter, and he spills a good portion of that wine. He's just shaking, I think, is really what's going on. Yeah, he was so nervous. And then he was trying to pour a taste, and he spilled more of it. Oh, God. The kids spilled a third of the wine on the tablecloth. That's like $4,000 worth of wine that just got spilled.
And I was mortified for the guy. I thought to myself, he's certainly fired. You just splashed $4,000 worth of wine. You're fired. Who's going to let you work here? But my friend was so gracious about it. And then he started giving tastes to other people in the restaurant that wanted some. It was a beautiful occasion.
But the decanter, like this whole decanter thing, it makes you so nervous when you're a waiter that you have to like, the bottle of wine is so expensive, you have to decant it. It reminded me of a time when I was working at a nice steakhouse here. With the au poivre? Who not? Au poivre. And we had this private room.
Someone rented out the private room for a wedding party, for like an engagement party, something very similar. And the father of the bride came in hours before this whole thing happened. And he brought these three wooden crates of wine.
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Chapter 6: What are the boundaries of flirting and physical contact?
And inside of those wooden crates were French wine from the early 1900s. It was 100 years old. The wine was like 100 years old. And he said, listen, I have been saving this. It's been passed down through my family. This is it. I'm going to open up some of this wine. Yeah, open it up. Yeah. And he's like, so just be very careful with it because it's very expensive.
It's like a part of my prize collection. I want everyone to have a taste. I want to make sure everyone gets a piece of this. So just be careful. When we started opening up that wine, Chrissy, the corks were dust. I mean, they were dust. As soon as we started putting our wine corks in there, the cork just disintegrated and fell into there.
Oh, God.
And so we had to strain every bottle of this wine and decant it. And he kept telling us, you got to let it sit for like five to 10 minutes. That's really how it airs out. It oxidized. Whatever he was saying is going to be beautiful. He's pretending he was a wine expert. And then he's like, you know, go ahead, take a taste. Tell me what you think. It was literally like drinking liquid dirt.
It was fucking disgusting. The wine was so bad. It was so disgusting. And everybody at the party agreed. Like everybody like took a sip and then they all put it back down.
Well, wine can be too old.
It was too old.
Yeah.
It was too old. And if the cork is like, you know, it's dry and brittle, you know, what are you going to do? First of all, second of all, don't save wine for a hundred years.
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Chapter 7: What humorous anecdotes illustrate the challenges of flirting?
The Night Abbey, I can't remember the name of it because I was never going to buy it again. You know, I mean, it was probably a couple hundred dollars. Yeah. You know, four, maybe $400 bottle or something.
Yeah, you know, when we worked at the steakhouse, we had that Silver Oak. You know what Silver Oak is? Silver Oak, really nice bottle of wine. And we would sell those bottles. Some of those bottles were like $250. And I always thought that was a huge deal. And it is. Do you guys like white wine or red wine?
Both.
Yeah? Yeah. It just depends on what you're eating?
Yeah, like a Sauvignon Blanc for white, and then we go Pinot or Cab, depending on the meal, for reds. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Sir? Sir?
I can see Jeff at the house. How's Jeff? How's the house doing?
He's good. The house is doing good. I've got it all still decorated up with the Halloween stuff.
For Halloween? Mm-hmm. Did you give him a little Halloween surprise?
Yeah.
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Chapter 8: How can listeners apply the lessons from this episode in their lives?
Look at me. I am literally all over the place. Look at my hands right now. I am so high. So I was staring at the mirror yesterday. I was looking into the mirror and I was telling Astrid, I'm like, hey, a couple days ago, and I'm like, hey, babe, look at my eyes. They are literally pinned. Are they pinned right now?
Yeah, they are.
They are pinpoints because I am so fucking high right now. I have zero pupils. So if anybody's wondering why Brian sounds a little bit off this last week, it's because I have too much thyroid. I got rid of the parathyroid problem. I picked up a thyroid problem. And fuck you if you don't like these episodes. Your body's readjusting. Yeah.
I mean, someone made a comment on one of the text messages, but, you know, fuck them. It said, Brian sounds extra unfunny this last couple of days. Well, fuck you. All right. Well, we're going to get funny. And here is what I want to present to you on Friday for a video breakdown. I thought this was something easy to do that I could do while I'm still high.
21 Convention, one of our favorite places to find pickup artists because that is basically what the 21 Convention was originally geared toward. And in 2014, one of our friends presented a – did a presentation called How to Be Sexual Like a Man. And –
literally the name of the presentation how to be sexual like a man and this presentation about halfway through goes off the rails when he invites a nice young lady to come up so that he can show the guys in the audience how to get sexual like a man so i want to take a break chrissy and when we get back i want to review this video with you let's do it all right we'll be back
I know this sounds crazy because we are a podcast, but we have a phone number because we are also Ascendian AI chatbot being designed to receive compliments and content ideas at 212-433-3TCB. So crazy how that works. If you want to follow us on Instagram, our handle is at thecommercialbreak and our TikTok handle is at tcbpodcast.
So go find our profile and watch the videos we painstakingly put together for you and our 20 other followers. If you find yourself wanting more, check out our website at TCBpodcast.com because you can find all of our audio and full-length video episodes. And if you just do all of those things, we will love you forever. Bye! Who's doing Trump's makeup these days? He's got like a frosted lip.
I know. They forgot to do the lip around. We should look at a picture of Trump at one of his... At the garbage rally. At the garbage rally. And someone forgot to put the tanner around his lips. So it literally looks like he's in blackface or something. It's kind of weird. I mean, I know the guy has tons of fucking money just being thrown at him. He's got to have like a really good makeup artist.
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