Chapter 1: What crazy stories does Zan share in this episode?
You see this smile, Betty? It's not really a smile. It's the lid on a screen. On this episode of the Commercial Break... I'm Trapper Trapper, that's what they call me.
Trapper John. M.D. My television show just got canceled, but I'm trying to trap some beavers.
Would you like to help me, young 13-year-old boy in the middle of the woods with no parents but a gun on his shoulder? And we became fast friends and maybe lovers. But I'll get to that point in therapy later. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break.
I'm Brian Gray and this is the King Lizard to my Lizard Wizard, Kristen Joy. Hopefully best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. King Grizzard. Yeah. And the Lizard Wizard. That's right. Taking the world by storm, apparently. Goose, King Lizard, and the... Lizard Wizard? I can never remember how to say it correctly. Krongbin?
Have you heard Krongbin? Of course, I love Krongbin. I love King Lizard, too. Yeah, they just did the Fox Theater for two nights. I wish I was able to go, but I'm not feeling well enough to go. Krongbin did. Lotham? Lotham? And they donated all the money they made from that to help the people in Nashville. Good for them. Congratulations. Yeah, what a... What a fascinating band to watch. Yes.
Like, just to watch. Their videos are mesmerizing to me. I've seen them live before, too. Oh, you have? It's a great show. I don't think I've ever seen them live. Yeah. That Laura Lee. Oh. She's so cool. I mean. That girl, like, that sex appeal just rolls off of her. Oh, I know. And the way that she moves. Yes. It's just amazeballs. Plays the bass. Yes. Has amazing outfits and cool wig.
Yeah.
You know who was my favorite? They wear wigs, you know. Yeah, well, yeah, they have to with the hair. I mean, you don't have hair like that naturally. Or if you do, you're like... She does, and then the lead singer guy, or the lead guitarist.
oh the lead guitarist that's their natural hair no no they're okay okay i assumed i assumed but i didn't know for sure but i thought to myself that hair is just way too good it's way too perfect to be real hair um which i guess i saw it too no sorry but uh yeah they they i read an article that said they started doing that because then they could go out into the audience afterwards and watch the show the rest of the shows or whatever like they're at a festival or good idea like yeah it was like kind of a disguise yeah that's a
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Chapter 2: What can we learn about the music industry from their discussion?
And so – but I do think it's a little bit of elderly abuse because he's 90. He shouldn't be out there like that. Maybe he wants to be. Maybe. Do we really – at 90, do you even know what you want? Yeah. I mean, honestly, let's be honest. Biden's 83. What, 83, 84? Biden's 84. And, you know, we all saw that debate. We all we couldn't look away.
It was kind of a train wreck because as you get older, that's just what happens. You revert back to some weird childhood stasis with your body all weird. And the reality is for Frankie, he should be relaxing and enjoying the fruits of his labors. But I think some, you know, his estate is probably saying you could do this, Frankie. Get out there, Frankie. You're going to love it, Frankie. He's 90.
He can't move. He can't move his mouth. He's 90. It's like Jimmy Carter, you know, when they rolled him out there with his mouth wide open, there's like flies going in. And I thought to myself, that's a beautiful moment for the family, but do the cameras really need to be there? Come on. I mean, let's give the guy some dignity. He's a fucking... He's 100. He's 100.
He built 50,000 houses for people that needed them. I mean, the guy's a legend. It would go down as one of the best former presidents ever. Frankie Valli is just going to go out as the guy who had weird lip syncing auto tune going on. In the last years of his life. I don't know. Go out with some dignity. Poor Frankie. That's my opinion. I don't like Frankie Valli and the Four Tops. I never have.
I don't. Is it Frankie Valli? Well, because you're not from the 50s, 40s. 30s? Yeah, 40s. That's the music that plays in my mom's senior citizen home when I go in there. It's like, you know. We're going to have Alice in Chains and ours. I know.
They've come to snuff the rooster. Oh, yeah.
I'm still alive. And my kids are going to be walking through going, what's this fucking shitty-ass old music? I know. I mean, at least play some Krongbin. I mean, come on. Put it together. Get it together in here. You know what I'm saying? Get it together in here. Get it together. The villages. Yeah, the villages. Oh, that villages is wild down there.
Have you been seeing the video coming out of there? I mean, I've seen some to do with the politics. It is politics. There's now like a big Harris Trump. Right. There's going to be a civil war down in the villages. Yeah. But I was watching a video. It was like the villages Wednesday night. Right. And the guy walks. He must walk a quarter of a mile. And it is golf cart to golf cart.
I mean, inches, one inch between each golf cart. Just parked. They're all out to eat like 515. And they're all, you know, in the restaurants eating down in the villages before they go and, you know, snort crystal meth and screw each other to death. Bend the world over, as our boy would say. John Zahn. John Zahn would say. It's just insane. Listen, I applaud it. I think it's great.
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Chapter 3: How does the conversation shift to Frankie Valli's performance?
He can't bend over, but he can bend somebody else over. They can bend over. He can get at it. I don't know if he can move his hips so well. I don't know if he's got that thrusting, penetrating thing that you need to kind of get that Jean-Saëns energy. But you know what I'm saying. Like, that's where he should be. In my opinion, that's where he should be. Yeah. Yeah.
It's like I was reading up on kind of like the touring industry, right? And how 2022 shows come back a little bit with some rules and stuff like that. People go bananas. They're buying tickets. They're spending tens of thousands of dollars to see T Swift in 2023 and 2024. Every ticket is being bought no matter who you are.
You'd be the shittiest band in the world and you were getting a full house because everybody wanted to come back and do something and be in this kind of social collective and feel people and touch them. Yeah, and a lot of people actually had money to spend too. Yeah. But 2024, starting in spring, has not been so kind to the touring industry. A lot of festivals have been canceled.
A lot of shows have been canceled, including Jennifer Lopez. She couldn't even get a tour to be financially solvent. She had to cancel her tour. And so I was reading up about Pearl Jam because I like Pearl Jam.
And I was reading up about their latest tour and how some people in Europe, the European shows were attended, but not as well as the American shows where it's like sellout, sellout, sellout, sellout. They were sold out but barely. Like they would get sold out like, you know, 10 minutes before the show or something.
The ticket sales were not as hot there because people in Europe were like, I'm not paying $400 fucking dollars to see Pearl Jam. And the Pearl Jam tickets have now gotten super expensive too because as people get older, they get more expendable cash. They become more settled in their life. They're able to pay $500 to see Pearl Jam in Wrigley or Pearl Jam in Philly or whatever it is.
But also, there was an interview where they were asking the band, like, hey, do you still like touring? And the bassist, Jeff Ament, said, wrong question. And some people on this messaging board were saying that Jeff, for almost a decade, has been saying, not my favorite part of the job. It's not my thing. I don't mind being in studio. I don't mind making music.
I don't mind going out and doing a live show every once in a while. Touring, not my favorite thing. It's got to be a grind. they've been doing it for 30 years 30 plus years they've been just going tour after tour after tour with few breaks they've taken breaks but few breaks and now they're on another tour supporting the album I think it's almost finished
And some people were saying, like, listen, the reason why ticket prices might be so expensive, too, is because they know they're getting toward the end of that touring phase of their career, that they might just now do special shows here and there, like a couple shows in Wrigley a year, or Eddie Vedder puts on this Ohana Fest, where now Pearl Jam is taken to playing every once in a blue moon.
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Chapter 4: What insights do they provide about politics at The Villages?
We're the first generation that says, I have to resolve. I have to come to terms with it. All other children in history said, okay, that sucked. I'm out. I'm out of here, man. They go build cities.
What? Have you built your city yet, Chrissy? I have not. You know what? I built this city. I built this city on rock and roll.
We're the only ones that navel gaze and say, no, no, no. How come? Nurture me, nurture me. We're the only generation that does that. Imagine this. You say to me, oh, yeah, I went on an adventure. I traveled, I backpacked across Europe for a year. That's not an adventure. You went from ATM to ATM. You can all call mom if you run out of money.
I have no idea where we're going, but now I think we're not going to get a point. I mean, it's funny. We were rooting for you. You almost had a point. And then you started talking about your two-part book. And you only had one part. And now you're talking about going from ATM to ATM on a backpacking through Europe. That's an adventure. Adventure doesn't need to be qualified by danger, dude.
That's not it. Yeah.
300 years ago, those young men would go into the sea in a wooden ship. They had no medical insurance. They didn't have their savings saved up. They just went one way. They don't know where they're going. We have to have everything all plotted and planned and comforted.
So the second part of my book is dedicated to learning how to build a ship to go one way somewhere you don't know. Sans medical insurance. Sans medical insurance, ATMs, and pussy.
comfort we have so much comfort around us and we complain the most and we and we and we say i'm a victim and i need counseling and and i'm not against you know careful counseling where it's needed right right right am i right yeah is this landing are you all in therapy yet careful careful counseling be careful with the counseling it gets dangerous out there
Careful, careful counseling. Like he's qualified to tell you what to do. I know.
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Chapter 5: How does the guest's wilderness experience shape his perspective?
Self-help books. Everybody's got those books on their shelf. And you can always buy another one. You don't read them.
So before 2020?
Yes, before 2020.
Before 2000. Before 2003, there was no self-help. No self-help. None. It was romance. Zero. And the number one was romance novels with Fabio on the front cover.
Because I got the answer right there. Right within. Oh, this one? Yeah, this one. I'll buy this one, too. And we have our little affirmations and our little Facebook things we stick on.
I think HarperCollins is knocking down this guy's door to get at this book concept.
$10 million advance on this concept.
Yeah, you got a huge advance.
You don't need it. You know what?
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Chapter 6: What is the significance of self-help in today's society?
Just 13-year-old John's on with my gun and my knife and my shitty drawers. He has a mark for me? Yeah. Oh, look, there. Yay. Old ye man. Hey, friend.
Hey. I'm Trapper Trapper. That's what they call me. Trapper John. M.D. My television show just got canceled, but I'm trying to trap some beavers.
Would you like to help me, young 13-year-old boy in the middle of the woods with no parents but a gun on his shoulder? And we became fast friends. And maybe lovers. But I'll get to that point in therapy later. 200 miles. 200 miles? Are you kidding? That's here to... Pass making. That's here to Savannah. Where in the world were you? Canada? Like in the north of Canada?
No, not 200. 60 miles away. Sorry.
I get those numbers mixed up all the time. I even call bullshit on 60. I say six miles away from civilization.
It's a major trip to go into town to get supplies.
A 60-mile journey? That's six days, dude. I mean, if you're walking, that's six days.
My formal education ended at 13. I have not gone to school since 13 years old.
Well, it doesn't show. Well, I know. That might explain some things here.
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Chapter 7: How do they critique the modern approach to relationships?
And he's like leaning against the window crying. I'll be there for you. I saw that in the movie theater. I was like, because I did the exact same thing.
How convenient for the story. Now, listen, I love a good yarn, too, and I tell it with yarn, all right? So I'm not casting dispersions. But I do have to say that, I mean, I think I wrap it up, right? I started at the beginning, and it might take me a while to get there. You do. Most of the time. And a point. Yes. 63% of the time, I wrap up my stories. I meant 16% of the time. Sorry. It's okay.
Let's take a break, and then we'll come back with what has got to be our final segment with Jon Zahn. I've lost all faith. Yeah. There's no chance he's getting to a point. He's gone way off the bat. Into the wilderness with this story, if you will. Yeah, with Trapper. Okay, we'll be back.
Call me, beep me, if you want to reach me at 212-433-3TCB. If you have any comments, questions, compliments, or content ideas, that's 212-433-3822. You can also find us on the interweb at tcbpodcast.com, which is where all of our audio and video lives. So check it out. And then while you're at it, you can follow us on Instagram at The Commercial Break and on TikTok at tcbpodcast.
That's all for now. So let's have a listen to our sponsors and get back to the show.
Whoa. All right. We'll get to that on a different episode. Yeah, we'll let those details come out. We keep the news on sometimes in here. Breaking news, but I don't even want to talk about it because we're with Jon Zahn. So here we go. All right.
I have an image of me. I'm not kidding. This is embarrassing to say, but I have exact same thing. I'm crying. probably 20 or 19 or something. She's getting on the back of a motorcycle with this girl I was dating, getting on the back of a motorcycle with some cool guy. He's like, who's this guy? Who's this loser? She goes, I don't know.
She said, I don't know. Let's just go. Yeah, she's like, I have no idea. He came out of the woods behind the bar, all sticky. I was like, hey, dude, you okay?
And he was like, I love girls. And I'm saying, I know I'll be here for you when you come back.
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Chapter 8: What reflections do they share about art and beauty?
If only everybody read the entire quote from Nietzsche, things would not be so bad. Ancient Romans. I mean, that's like... Yeah. The point is not the point. You almost made a point, and then you just missed it altogether.
We used to have...
Everybody wants to romanticize what we used to have. But the truth is that it was bad then, too, if that's the way that you looked at life. It was bad then. Yes, things are tense and shitty shit is bad. But that doesn't mean that all is lost. And that's the problem, I think, with some of these ideologies is that all is lost, but I have the answer. Right. And that is a certain type of...
ego-driven bullshit that I just don't buy into. You make the choice about how you see the world and what you choose to put out there into it. And I'm just going to go around the rest of the issues. I made your joke twice.
That's why we have this turmoil today and this angry discourse.
Because of Nietzsche's quote?
My thesis is this.
God is dead and God will remain dead because we killed him.
It's hard. The Alabaster Girl came out of my experience, 100% my experience. For 10 years, I wrote that book. And the whole time I was writing it, I never read a book. And I love books. I'd go to an airport book store.
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