JamLand Productions

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The Commercial Break 1h 2m 9 speakers transcribed
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Advertisement voice 0:00
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Bryan Green 0:32
Hey, you sold that car yet?
Carvana Customer 0:34
Yeah, sold it to Carvana.
Bryan Green 0:36
Oh, I thought you were selling to that guy.
Carvana Customer 0:39
The guy who wanted to pay me in foreign currency, no interest over 36 months? Yeah, no. Carvana gave me an offer in minutes, picked it up and paid me on the spot. It was so convenient.
Bryan Green 0:51
Just like that?
Carvana Customer 0:51
Yeah.
Advertisement voice 0:52
No hassle?
Carvana Customer 0:53
None.
Advertisement voice 0:54
That is super convenient. Sell your car to Carvana and swap hassle for convenience. Pick up fees may apply.
Local Caller 1:00
Hey, have they called school yet? Well, I mean, it's starting to accumulate. Yes, it's accumulating right up here. I can see it. I can see it right now. Well, it just hit 32. It hurt 32 degrees. And it's going to get down to 28 tonight. And it's going to be 28 in the morning. They can't go to school at 32 degrees. Babies are not made for 32 degree weather. Uh-uh. Absolutely not. Absolutely not.
Episode Announcer 1:28
On this episode of the Commercial Break.
Bryan Green 1:32
For a minute there, I saw the EDM.
Krissy Hoadley 1:34
You likened yourself to an EDM promoter.
Bryan Green 1:36
I likened myself to an EDM promoter. It was fun while it lasted. And guess what the name of the company was that I created?
Krissy Hoadley 1:43
Oh, God, I can only imagine.
Bryan Green 1:44
Jamland Productions. Oh, Jamland. Jamland Productions. Goes right along with that EDM flavor. Presented by Jam Land. Presented by Jam Land Productions. DJ shit for brains.
Unknown Speaker 2:03
And the cone of insecurity. And cone of insecurity.
Episode Announcer 2:08
The next episode of the commercial break starts now.
Bryan Green 2:14
Oh, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Greene. This is the Glenn Burns to my Ken Cook. Kristen Joy Hoadley, best to you, Kristen.
Krissy Hoadley 2:25
You like that? You see where I went with that?
Bryan Green 2:29
Welcome to a little weather-related opening. Winter weather warning.
Krissy Hoadley 2:33
Wintry Mix. Yes.
Bryan Green 2:35
Living Alive only does storm alert days in serious situations. This is to be taken seriously, I just read. It's a Friday here on the commercial break, and we're not actually here on a Friday. We're probably embedded in one and a half inches of snow that has crippled the city.
Krissy Hoadley 2:53
We were stocked up on bread and milk. Yes, bread and milk.
I know.
Bryan Green 3:03
Bread and milk. Mac and cheese or like, you know, canned soup or something.
Krissy Hoadley 3:07
Mac and cheese and wine.
Bryan Green 3:08
Bread, milk and water. Those are the things that go in the alcohol.
Krissy Hoadley 3:11
That's what goes.
Bryan Green 3:12
Gasoline, firewood. I mean, it's like people just go fucking bananas around here. And the pandemonium has already started and it's only the middle of the week. I'm referring to this winter storm that's supposedly going to affect some parts of the southeast, like the city of Atlanta, where we live, where we record. I got to be honest with you. I just don't believe the bullshit anymore. I've been living in this city for way too long. I've even noticed that I think the meteorologists don't believe the bullshit anymore. I don't even think they think they know what's actually going to happen because they're wrong every fucking time. They're wrong about where the hurricane goes. They're wrong about what the weather is going to be in an hour, let alone five days from now.
Bryan Green 3:52
And every time they put together one of these special storm alerts, which we have going on right now, everybody runs to the fucking store. There are lines. It's pandemonium. Everyone's driving like an asshole trying to get home. I don't know to apparently make French toast with their bread, milk and eggs. I don't know what's going on. But then what's going to happen? It's going to rain. That's what's going to happen. It's going to rain. And we're all going to get seven days. Yes. We just got off 30 days of no school and we're going to have 30. Three more school days where I got to go fucking crazy because my kids are running around the house with nothing to do. Fuck you. Fuck you. Chesley, Nesley, or whatever your name is.

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