Just Fyre TCB!

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The Commercial Break 54 min 3 speakers 6 chapters transcribed
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What is Tina Tannin Tweez and why is it re-opening?

Krissy Hoadley 0:05
Tina Tannin Tweez is happy to announce its grand re-re-opening. Tina Tannin Tweez is now re-open after we had to close after our last grand re-opening. That's right, Crabapplians. Northwest Butchuk County's only tanning, tweezing, and anal bleaching spa is back and better than ever. With four state-of-the-art burn beds, you'll be redder than ever, making her wetter than ever. The juice is loose. TT&T has the only beds anywhere in the world that turn the UV rays up to 11. That's right, backed by popular demand and thanks to DOGE deregulations, our 1970s-era tanning equipment will give you more solar radiation in one session than most astronauts get standing outside their spaceship. Bake me a cake, Rocket Man.
Krissy Hoadley 0:57
And make sure to stop by the Tina Tweezing Tent, conveniently located steps from our outdoor restroom facilities. You'll get a professional plucking, so you're ready for some... Put a quarter in the swear jar. This week and this week only, when you order one lip waxing, we'll throw in the other lips for free. Barely legal. Ladies, let's trim that basement beard and put out a fresh welcome mat for that special hunk of spunk in your life. Slip and slide. We'll get up close and personal with our five-in-one Brazilian technique. You'll leave feeling sexy, silky, and smooth, or your next visit is 10% off. Plus, available now to all new Crabapple customers, you can brighten up that dark star while you wait.
Krissy Hoadley 1:48
We've flown in Eastern Europe's hottest bleaching technician, Balania. All the way from Latvia and fresh off her DJ residency in Ibiza, Balania's bringing all the tools to make the boys drool. Bippity boppity boo. Make your no-no zone a go-go zone when you lighten up that brown blossom into a white rose. Because you never know who's looking. It's your creepy neighbor. Tina Tannen-Tweese now re-re-open at 127 Main Street in Crabapple Township.
Bryan Green 2:21
Tina Tannen-Tweese is not responsible for lost or stolen items inside or outside the facilities or in your body cavity. Please be aware that TT&T is operating under a state carnival license and may not know exactly what they're doing. By entering TT&T, you agree that some of the chemicals and processes used may be harmful to your health. Any person or persons who receive services at TT&T may be subject to surveillance by state authorities. Tina of Tina Tannen-Tweese may not leave the premises for any reason due to a legal arrangement with state police.
Krissy Hoadley 2:44
Tina tan and tweeze, red and ready to go with a smooth chucha and a shiny hull.
Rachel McGrath 2:55
On this episode of The Commercial Break…

Why should you avoid investing in Fyre Fest 2?

Bryan Green 2:58
But I'm going to tell you right now, don't give your money to these people because you will end up being disappointed. $1.1 million. Give the commercial break $1.1 million and we will turn off the RSS feed and the commercial break. You can put whatever name you want on it. Chrissy and I will do an episode every day for the next five years. Just to you. That's it. That's what you get for $1.1 million. And I think that's a much better deal than staying on a yacht for four days in a festival that no one's going to play at. You know what I'm saying? Is it going to be 33p acoustically? Who's going to play there?
Krissy Hoadley 3:33
I can't believe that he's doing this again.
Rachel McGrath 3:36
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Bryan Green 3:40
2.30 in the morning! Oh, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. I was going to say you're the Mads to my Dave. But, you know, I don't know how many people will get that, how many people will pick up on that. Will you pick up on it?
Krissy Hoadley 4:02
I don't think so.
Bryan Green 4:03
The Mads to my day.
Krissy Hoadley 4:05
Okay, like Madison?
Bryan Green 4:06
Like Madison.
Krissy Hoadley 4:07
Oh, I got it. Okay, so you're that far.
Bryan Green 4:11
Those who know, I-K-N-Y-K-D-Y.
Krissy Hoadley 4:13
So you're that far in the show?
Bryan Green 4:15
I am not. I am only three episodes in, but I unfortunately saw a reel that indicated what I'm headed into. So here we go. Love is blind. Okay. Don't tell me everything, but love is blind up to episode four. Spoiler alert. Turn off the first segment because we're going to talk about it. Love is Blind is back. Because it seems like it's back every two months now. It is.

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