Chapter 1: What humorous mishaps do Bryan and Krissy share in this episode?
Okay, hold up. You're trying to tell me pirates have a leg that's just for pegging. On this episode of the Commercial Break... Trying to find love. I'm just trying to find love. I'm 72 years old. I'm just trying to find love with my neighbor's 17-year-old son. What's wrong with that? I done been hitting that rabbit watching my 17-year-old neighbor mow the grass. I'm in the prime of my life.
I can't move my lips or my eyes, but I'm in the prime of my life. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the Miz to my Riz. Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us. You're welcome. Hey, well, you had to be here. You're contractually obligated.
Talking about all the people who aren't contractually obligated to be here, which quite frankly surprises me a whole bunch that anybody's here.
Absolutely does. Thank you.
Thank you. We certainly do appreciate it, dear listener. Do us one more favor. Show up to one of our shows in Florida. So that someone appears. So that there's someone in the audience. October 25th.
Dearest gentle listener.
Dearest gentle listener. October 24th. September 25th. 26th. I better get that right, huh? Yes. September 25th and September 26th.
92590.
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Chapter 2: How do Bryan and Krissy address the topic of age gap relationships?
If a blackberry isn't a blackberry, what are we doing? How are we doing this?
I don't know. I try and get organic.
You know, when you go to Whole Foods, I think you expect that you're getting something a little bit better quality than, say, I don't know.
No, no. Amazon owns them now, though.
Yeah, it's true. Yeah, it's true. That Bezos.
I don't know about the quality. You have to look for the organic. That's a little safety measure.
It's a little tiny safety measure. But organic to me just means a lot more expensive. And, you know, I've read about how like kind of organic is a little bit of a scam.
Well, organic, I think they have to be certified organic. That's a rigorous process. Now, like the all natural, where it says like all natural.
Yeah.
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Chapter 3: What bizarre stories do they discuss about food and health?
I just used this the other day.
Yeah. Well, someone says put a little Coke Zero in there and watch it dissipate because Coke Zero could kill anything on the planet except for Tammy from My 600-lb Sisters or whatever, apparently. So piggybacking off of this a little bit.
Fronting.
What's that? Piggy-fronting. Thank you, Chrissy. I keep on forgetting that we're on a mission to tear Teresa Caputo down one episode at a time. Piggy-fronting off of that. You know, you think about Jeff Bezos owning Whole Foods and Washington Post and Amazon and all this other stuff. I do not argue with capitalism because it works as well as any other system that's been in place.
And it's got a lot of downfalls and there's a lot of windfalls that come with that. Jeff Bezos and all of these incredibly rich human beings that seem to be consolidating everything at the top. You know, argue with it, don't argue with it. That's a conversation for a different show.
But I think about these people and I wonder, do they really have the best interest of anybody except for themselves at heart at the end of the day? No, you don't want to know why? Because none of us do at the end of the day. We're all just trying to figure out what's best for us. And if we can do a few kind things for other people along the way, then we probably pat ourselves on the back, right?
I watched this 60 Minutes special on the bottom of the area. The area is the deepest part of the Pacific Ocean. It's almost three miles down.
Is that the trash swirl?
Not the trash swirl. Okay. But that's terrible in and of itself. We can spend a whole other episode on that. What I watched is that between California, between San Diego and Hawaii, there is some of the deepest ocean in the world. There's no sunlight. It reaches zero degrees Celsius in some cases down there.
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Chapter 4: What are the implications of AI on the podcasting landscape?
But for some reason, I do lump them in together. It doesn't help that they did a podcast together for like six months or – maybe they still do it. I'm not sure.
Well, John Oliver was on The Daily Show.
He was.
Which also Colbert was on.
Yeah, that's true. John Stewart, John Colbert – John Stewart, John Oliver, and Stephen Colbert. They're all the same person.
Yes.
Anyway, so – This guy is trying to tell this group of nations that basically monitor what they literally call the area. He's trying to convince them that he can send these machines down and do little disturbance to the bottom of the ocean and mine all of these battery balls. The problem is they don't even know what's down there, first of all.
Second of all, they have no idea how it's going to impact the ocean. Third of all, have we learned no lessons yet? I mean, I agree with you. Battery in a ball sounds cool. If that means that, like, you know, it's a for-sure done deal, the Earth is going to be cleaner and pollution troubles are going to disappear and we'll all of a sudden have the magic... I don't know.
The magic that we need to make it all run? Wonderful. But there is no silver bullet here, I don't think. And I'm just saying, I'm not convinced either way, but that John Oliver report, and I know he skews a certain way, but that John Oliver report sure does... When I watch the guy who's the CEO of this company, I go, does he have anybody's interest at heart except for his at the end of the day?
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Chapter 5: How do the hosts handle criticism and reviews of their show?
I think when we first start, no one's paying attention. The only people who are giving us reviews are people that are really like caught us at this. I'm talking about the beginning of the show. First, yeah, our friends, family or people who may have a vested interest in seeing us do well. Right. And so call that the first 10 or 20 reviews.
Then as we get deeper into the show, the reviews get further and further, like fewer and further between. But most of them are rather nice, you know, funny show, very, you know, interesting and funny or whatever. But then you get into like year number two and a half and then you're starting to get like new people to the show.
And one person says one thing shitty and the next person says something. I take that as a sign that the show is growing and it's real.
I know. Well, I'm like, it's not for everyone. Yeah. I just want to write that to the naysayers.
What does this have to do with battering a ball? I have no idea, but okay. Cool, dude.
How did we get on that?
I don't know, but get there, Brian. Get there. Get there. That should be the new tagline.
Just get there.
I mean, I agree. The show is sometimes it's just not good.
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Chapter 6: What insights do they provide on the Mariana Trench and its mysteries?
Their credit card works.
Their credit cards turned on. Those kind of people. The kind of people who don't have to silence their phone because of bill collectors. You know, those kind of people. Not me, those people. It says, read your post, checked out 15 minutes, almost threw up in my mouth, never again. Your taste in podcasts is terrible. Perfect. Perfect. I think I'm going to put that as our new slogan. Yes, please.
Almost threw up in my mouth. Your taste in podcasts is terrible.
Don't we have some of those on our homepage of our website?
We do.
Where we have a few reviews. You should put that one up there.
I think one of them is from my mom. Your dad. Oh, Brian's so funny. And then the other one is like, Brian needs to get a real job. I told him to get a real job. Which is true, by the way. He does tell me that every once in a while. He's like, are you sure about this podcast thing? I mean, it's good and everything, but are you sure? While my stepmom's sitting there just like, what a fucking idiot.
Yeah. What a fucking moron.
I know. My dad still thinks it's a video blog.
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Chapter 7: What are the hosts' thoughts on the latest reality TV trends?
So I opened it up. And it's not like it's not people talking about my show. It's like three people going back and forth, you know, replying to each other's tweets at that time about how terrible the commercial break is. Just how terrible it is. And I mean, they were being brutal, like brutal. They were breaking down every bit of one of these episodes.
And I never forget just thinking to myself, don't even go down the rabbit hole. No, you can't. Last night when I found this whole Reddit thing, I know that there were other posts out there about the show, but I didn't even go there. I was like, you know what? Just don't go there. You're just going to make yourself upset for no reason. It's just people out there. Who fucking cares?
You like the show, you like the show. You don't like the show, you don't like the show. Honestly, I'm too old to be worried about that kind of stuff. I got a growing prostate and family. And those two things keep me pretty busy. Exactly. That's all it is. Exactly. That's all it is. But I do follow those reviews on Apple, and I do think they're quite funny. It's just entertaining.
Yeah, I think the ones that are negative are the most entertaining.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, like these two sure do think they're funny. As we're laughing at our own... I know. What is it? Stuck on our own petard? What is that? How do you say that? Petard. Petard. Have you heard that saying? You got stuck on your own petard? Hold on one second.
Ask Gemini.
Yeah, ask Gemini. Here, I'll ask Gemini. Hold on one second. Google... Okay. Here we go. We're going to use Gemini here live on the first thing. We are the first people to use Gemini live on a podcast. Probably for good reason. What is the saying that ends with on your own petard?
The saying is hoisted by one's own petard. It means to be harmed or defeated by your own plan or scheme. That tracks.
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Chapter 8: How do Bryan and Krissy plan to engage with their audience during live shows?
A bad dad. That's what I have to say. A bad dad. I only have children under the age of 10, and I already know that's bad dad-isms. You don't do that. You don't date the same women as your son. No. I don't care how old they are. That's just bad news. Bad, bad news. It's like I'm watching another one of these shows on TLC, like Unexpected, which is a show kind of like 16 and pregnant.
And I don't watch it frequently, but sometimes it's on and I'll catch it. Two teenagers... The girl is 17. The kid is 15. So 15 and a 17-year-old, 15 and an 18-year-old. She's pregnant. Now, the baby's having babies. And the dad, who has been largely out of this girl's life for her entire life until like a year ago, has the hots for the mom of the son.
So the dad is more worried about hitting up – you know, this dude's mom than he is about the fact that his daughter is a baby having a baby. He's more concerned about how hot the mom is. And it's like, dude, that's bad dadding. That's just bad dadding. There are so many other girls out there, so many other women out there. You don't need to...
Now make it even – what is this, the Brady Bunch? Here's a story about – Well, speaking of, I just read – I was surprised.
I didn't know this, but probably because I don't keep up with a ton of Miley Cyrus and what she's doing. I like her, though. Yeah. But her dad just got married and then just got divorced. Really? To another much younger girl. Anyways, that all happened kind of quick. They were talking about that, but that led into the story to where her mother is married to someone that her sister used to date.
Right.
What? Yes. I was like, whoa. And it supposedly caused a rift. I'm like, well, yeah.
So strange. You know, I had a friend and her dad ended up making a lot of money in the tech industry. He like sold one of his companies. He just didn't know what to do with himself. He was like, yeah. Way to, you know, live the luscious life. He was a partier. He'd go to the clubs. He'd bring home young women.
And he was probably, when I was around, he was probably in his late 40s to late 50s, like that 10-year kind of time period.
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