Marry That Ghost, Girl!
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Who is Theresa Caputo and what role does she play in this episode?
Honey, I am straighter than a pair of chopsticks laying flat on a kitchen table. Hetero, hetero, hetero cunt, I eat vagina for lunch, aww. Honey, I am straighter than the posture of a military soldier. Honey, I am so straight, I have never even seen a man before, okay? I don't know what a man looks like, tastes like, or feels like, or smells like, or... on this episode of The Commercial Break. Maybe that's why she wears the hair like that. It's kind of like a helmet. I know, it's the one... Padding. It's the one thing... Forget it. She's getting hit in the head. Left and right. I just got hit by a ghost penis in my back. That's my sign for he wants to consummate the relationship one last time. And remember how I said ghost was a good representation?
I'm here to facilitate a lovemaking session between you and your dead boyfriend. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is O Captain, my captain, Kristen Joy. Only best to you, Kristen. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Welcome back from a cold, cold GCB studios in Atlanta. Holy shit. I was 18 when I left this place. I was nine when I took the rugrats to the place where I dropped them off. The daycare that I call school. That's a small relief we get during the day from all the chaos at school. But man, we had to layer them up. They sound like a message, like layer them up. So my boy, one of my boys is wearing like pajama pants, long socks, extra pants, a jacket, a sweater, another jacket.
I mean, he's got the whole thing on. Yeah. So we get in the car and I have to... I'm picturing him like the little kid from the Christmas story. Oh, that's exactly what he looked like. I've got a picture of it. Here, let me show you this picture of it. I won't show it to the audience, but try and protect my children from my bullshit. Look. Yeah. Oh, my God. It does look like it. Oh, my God. He's like all stuffed. So we get in the car and I literally had to adjust the straps on all the car seats because I could not fit them in there.
What are the hosts' thoughts on the Emmy Awards and their winners?
I'm like, well... And then, of course, the second we get in the car and we're like, you know, halfway to the school, one of my kids is like, I gotta pee. And I'm like, no, because when kids say they have to pee, they had to pee five minutes ago. It's going to happen quickly. They had to pee five minutes ago. I don't know why they do that. I don't know why they wait so long to pee. I guess I do the same thing sometimes, but I'm an adult. I can control myself. Yeah. We have a lot of accidents in the house because, you know, occasionally it's just pee on the floor time.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's like blue. They're taking after blue. They just pee on the floor. Exactly. I read an interesting article that, you know, Lauren Michaels, the director and executive producer of Saturday Night Live for 50 years, I think, going on 50 years. Next season is going to be their 50th season or 50th year or whatever it is. That's crazy. And he has signed on with NBC till at least the end of the 50th season. So 2025, I think it started 1975. So 2025. But in a conversation, in an interview, when asked, who should take over Saturday Night Live after your iron grip? Because he's like, we talked to Rosebud about this. Yeah, he's involved in every aspect still. Every single thing is, it has to pass the Lorne Michaels smell test.
And some... I'd like to do a little side note here. Some people, some comedians out there say if they didn't get the SNL job, they say, thank God I didn't get the SNL job because it would have quashed some... opportunities in my career because lauren michaels if you know all the adam sandler movies think of the some of the bill murray movie and bill murray dan akroyd think of some of those movies tina fey they were all produced by lauren michaels because they're under contract with lauren michaels for a certain period of time and then they have to like they call it like and derivative works contract meaning if you have derivative works i didn't think about that yeah like will ferrell and that's i thought i just wanted to be involved yeah you know just nice guy yeah
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
Who is Theresa Caputo and what role does she play in this episode?
0:00–2:18
2
What are the hosts' thoughts on the Emmy Awards and their winners?
2:18–7:59
3
How do the hosts feel about the future of Saturday Night Live?
7:59–24:44
4
What insights do the hosts share about Anthony Bourdain?
24:44–1:00:34