Chapter 1: Is NASA actually listening to TCB?
And welcome back to WSHIT. It's 3.33 on the Crabapple Yoni Massage and Counseling Studio Clock. Crabapple Yoni Massage and Counseling. We'll rub it out while you work it out. Exciting news today for local girl rock group Tina and the Subservience.
For the third week in a row, Tina and the subservience have maintained their position of number 143 on the East Upchuck County religion, music and podcast charts. When reached for comment, Tina said, quote, I have to talk to the church elders. End quote.
This marks the third time Tina and the Subservience have been on the East Upchuck County religious music and podcast charts, this time for their brand new single, Dangerous Loaf of Bread. Let's take a listen to a clip now.
on the enemy he hates to see us coming because we're just wild enough to do stuff like dangerous loaf of bread and we tell him we're going to keep rolling right over your head and maybe you need to add that to it just like this hey Come on, say it.
A representative for the all-female music group said that Tina and the Subservience are planning a new album and a tour of the wider Southern Crabapple Township. Residents are advised to get your tickets quickly, as last year's tour sold out in just minutes. Can you smell what the Lord is cooking?
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Chapter 2: What happened to the astronauts who returned to Earth?
We'll be back after this commercial break.
On this episode of The Commercial Break.
We've been really quiet for the most part. We did do the Hulu documentary. That's all. That's all we did.
We did make a deal with Disney+, Max.com, Hulu, SiriusXM, and Spotify to do a number of documentaries, Chrissy, but that was it. Besides The Sun, The Globe, Washington Post, New York Times, my own blog, my vlog, this new podcast, and Logan Paul's videocast.
I mean, that's quiet. Hey, listen. For me, that's quiet. For me, that's quiet.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Yeah, boy! Oh, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break.
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Chapter 3: What was the significance of the song 'Dangerous Loaf Of Bread'?
I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen.
Best to you, Brian.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. How the hell are you? You know, we haven't had a chance to talk about this yet, and it's... Way after the fact now. I bet you heard it here last on the commercial break, as you always do. I just might let you know that, that if you're listening, you're hearing information you heard already.
The two astronauts stuck in space for almost nine months have had an opportunity to return home to their... Planet of origin here on Earth. And thanks to SpaceX. I mean, there's no other way to put that. Even NASA said without Trump's intervention and Elon, those two would have probably not gotten home for a long time because there were no scheduled rocket launches scheduled.
No scheduled rescuable, I don't know, vehicles to go up there and get them down. And that fucking Boeing piece of shit is still floating around up there, stuck on the space station. Unbelievable. I mean, what a bad string of luck for Boeing. I mean, I just guess they're bad at what they do now. But doors flying off, wings falling out, planes falling out of the sky, and then they can't...
They get billion, billion, billion dollar contracts from the government to make a space capsule and they can't even get the thing to fly home. It's kind of an embarrassment. But, you know, in this case, I will give it to Trump and to Elon. They got somebody up there to drive them home, I guess, an Uber up to the ISS. Yeah. And now they're back home, frailer than they were before.
After nine months in space, everything changes. Your body, your eyeball structure changes.
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Chapter 4: How did Carl Lentz respond to his past controversies?
Did you know that? I did not. So gravity helps to keep the shape of your eyes. So when there is no gravity, your eyes change shape because the fluid around it and they're just kind of squishy textured. So they change. The eyes change shape. So when you get back down to Earth and then gravity is pulling on your eyeballs again, some people have trouble seeing like clearly.
And so it takes them a while for that eyeball to change. Get that shape back. So there's all kinds of consequences to being up in space for that long. No surprise there. I mean, when you don't have gravity, it's just much easier on everything. But what's the first thing you are eating when you get back?
Oh, a big steak and some mashed potatoes.
I'm having a fat cheeseburger with as many french fries as I can stuff down my gullet, a milkshake, and some vagina.
Chapter 5: What does Carl Lentz's apology tour entail?
An entire bottle of wine.
Oh, yeah. For you, an entire bottle of wine. For me, a whole box of cream and cereal. Yeah. I'm going on a run. I'm going on an epic run. I'm putting that weight back on immediately because I can only imagine that the worst part about being stuck in space, besides not knowing if you're ever going to come home to your planet, is not being able to eat anything that tastes like anything.
That's space food. I don't think it's gotten much better. I don't know.
It's so funny you mentioned that because I saw a whole thing about it a while back on space food. And there's, you know, a whole science behind it and they have all kinds of people working on it to try and make the space food the best that they can. It's got to be like freeze-dried, right?
It's just got to be awful, yeah.
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Chapter 6: What insights does Carl share about his relationship with his wife?
Yeah, it's all freeze-dried. You can't have liquidy stuff up there, nothing with juices in it, because then the juice flies everywhere. So everything's got to be freeze-dried. And while I'm sure that they've gotten better at the taste of things, the texture of things is probably not very good. Maybe they have hamburgers, but they're completely dry, dried out.
It's just all got to be gross at the end of the day. And you can only take so much of that. It's not like they have a chef up there preparing meals. You're eating a certain variety. variety of food and you're eating it over and over again. Thank God for that ISS or they would have been fucked. Those two would have been like, that is my nightmare about space kids.
There it is right there is that we get up there and then in some interstellar weird situation, 150 years has passed by before I get to come home to earth and everybody's much older than I am. Like that's the weird shit that goes on in space that I'm not cool with. I, we're not there yet. We're not there. Space travel is not common. It's not like taking a cruise or a train or a plane.
When we get there, if we get there in my lifetime, then possibly I would consider it if it was something that had been done hundreds of thousands or millions of times.
More mainstream.
Yeah. And there's like a Ritz-Carlton up there. You know what I'm saying? Like there's like an indoor pool and gravity and a chef to cook you meals. The moon Ritz. The Ritz a la moon. The Luna Ritz. Ritz Luna.
La Luna.
La Luna Ritz.
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Chapter 7: Why is Carl Lentz's situation considered hypocritical?
If there's one of those up there and they figured out the gravity thing and the food thing and everything else and not having my eyeball change into a weird shape and not being able to see when I get home, I already can't see. If I go up to space, I'm fucked. I'm coming home blind.
Maybe that would change it to where you could see.
Hey, listen, some people might think that way. I know, for me, it would be the exact opposite. That I, in fact, would be fucked. That I would have no sight when I got home. Okay, so that's, you know, that was exciting news. I watched the splashdown. I saw them take them out of the capsule and all that. I thought that was very... A big deal. Yeah, it's a big deal. And I felt happy for them. And...
So right around that time, I get a text message on our hotline here. And that text message has a picture of a picture of those two astronauts as that news is, you know, the news is they're coming home. We're going to get them back down right before the, you know, maybe a week before they actually splash down. I get a picture of a picture of those two astronauts.
It's a picture of them like on a wall. And somebody who's been writing us for a while says, here, check out these two. I pass by them every day on my way to the bathroom. And I'm like, well, let me respond to this one personally, because I want to understand exactly what kind of office you're working in where you have pictures of astronauts near the bathroom.
Were they like headshots?
Yeah, headshots. Yeah. Of them like in their space gear, but, you know, with the helmet off and, you know, the traditional space headshot.
Yeah.
You know, the one that every astronaut in the history of ever has ever had.
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Chapter 8: What lessons can be learned from Carl Lentz's experiences?
You're in the suit, just no bubble on your head.
No bubble head. And the suits have gotten prettier. I will give them that. They have managed to get those suits now just look like a jumper, essentially. Now, how they keep space out, I'm not sure. But I don't want any space in my suit. In my space suit, I want no space. You know what I'm saying? But anyway, so I think to myself...
Well, either this guy works in a place where they really, really like space or he has some important job where they have pictures of astronauts on the wall. Let me respond directly. And since I've talked to him before, I say, hey, man, why exactly do you have pictures of these two near your bathroom? And he says, because I work at the Kennedy Space Center. That's why.
And I'm like, you work for NASA? Yeah. Wow. Yes, I do. Well, you may be a little excited that you're talking to Brian from the commercial break. Why? I have no idea. I mean, you know, I'm just a dude. But I am extra excited that I am talking to an actual rocket engine, like, you know, a guy who helps people go to space. Yes. That's amazing. I'm so excited about this. And I really was.
I was like fanboying a little bit. I'm like, wow, a NASA person is actually listening to the commercial break.
Yeah.
To which I reply, well, there's a first for every, I mean, you know, I'm like paraphrasing here. There's a first for everything. You must be the first person in the history of the commercial break that works at NASA and is listening to the commercial break. To which he responds, probably not. I think I know differently.
And I don't want to get into all the details because I don't want, you know, I don't know if he wants to be known or doesn't want to be known. But I suspect there may be some fans of ours working at NASA. And to which I say, what in the good fuck is going on at NASA that there are commercial break fans working at the highest levels of intellectual institutes? Do you know what I'm saying?
Yes.
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