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The Commercial Break

Nor Land, Nor Sea, Nor John Cousteau!

04 Sep 2025

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What happens when a captain loses his ship right after launching?

0.031 - 46.339 Unknown

Gonna go out Go out tonight Gonna get down And get in a knife fight Taking you out Out on the town Tackle a stranger Roll on the ground I'm entitled to more That's who I am I'm taking what's yours Because I can

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48.412 - 92.821 Unknown

You're in my lane You're taking my spot My burger has cheese You've lost the plot I'm beating you up And posting online I need more attention What's yours is now mine Come watch me right now I'm angry and mad Making you smaller Makes me less sad I've come here to rage, spill out of my head, turn rage into riots. You heard what I said, got out of my way. The rules don't apply.

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93.281 - 122.716 Unknown

I'm simple and silly and I for an eye. What can you do? I'm richer than you. I'm taller than you.

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Chapter 2: What are the implications of scary underwater possibilities?

122.776 - 125.82 Unknown

You cannot do.

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134.98 - 151.177 Bryan Green

On this episode of the Commercial Break. There are literally millions of species of whatever the fuck living under our feet under the water that we have never discovered, we have yet to discover or study or name or any of that. And that to me is insanity.

0

151.197 - 158.985 Bryan Green

Just when you think you got it all licked because you've been watching a lot of Nat Geo, then you figure out that I really don't know shit and neither does anyone else.

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Chapter 3: How is Ryan Lochte involved in recent controversies?

159.345 - 161.127 Krissy Hoadley

No, they're still discovering stuff.

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161.147 - 187.401 Bryan Green

Yes. Mm-hmm. We don't have this all figured out, kids. I just got news for you. Mother Nature is a big mammoth, hairy, lovely, beautiful woman. But she is by far way out of our purview. We don't know. We don't understand. We just don't get it. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break.

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187.522 - 192.554 Bryan Green

I'm Brian Green, this is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Holdley. Best to you, Kristen.

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192.574 - 193.276 Krissy Hoadley

Best to you, Brian.

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Chapter 4: What is the connection between Ryan Lochte and nitrous oxide?

193.316 - 199.632 Bryan Green

And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. I'm watching a reel as we're going into the show today.

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199.612 - 222.868 Bryan Green

about a guy uh who bought a million dollar yacht and he's launching it out of turkey where the boat was built so it was just they're gonna slide it into the water as they do with these big boats and he slides it into the water yeah it's like a little toy it's unbelievable they do that with the biggest of ships also you know like the disney cruise line they just like slide it down a ramp

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222.848 - 248.974 Bryan Green

Hope it stays forward. It all seems so kind of rambunctious for such a large thing. So they slide it backwards into the water, and the captain is on it, the new owner. And I guess I'm assuming somebody from the company to help him figure out how to use it. It goes into the water, tips over sideways, and it's upside down in less than two minutes. And so the captain had to swim back to shore.

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248.954 - 251.718 Krissy Hoadley

Oh, my God.

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251.838 - 262.573 Bryan Green

Hope it has insurance. Yeah. I mean, because I think the rule is once it hits the water and you are the owner, if you're on it, you've taken control of the ship.

262.734 - 265.117 Krissy Hoadley

I mean, I don't know the ins and outs of yacht owning.

Chapter 5: What are the dangers of street drugs like 7-OH?

265.217 - 268.422 Bryan Green

I'm not a maritime law expert, but my uncle is.

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268.642 - 277.695 Krissy Hoadley

I would be saying refund or... Yeah, remake. Yeah, remake. Why did it tip over sideways? Seems like that was defective buildings.

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277.675 - 293.209 Bryan Green

Yeah, when it just tips over sideways like that, either it's really top-heavy on one side or there's a lot of water coming in on one side of the boat. You know that my uncle is the preeminent attorney of maritime law in, like, the world?

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293.489 - 294.49 Krissy Hoadley

I did not know that.

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294.51 - 306.101 Bryan Green

He helped write a lot of the insurance and shipping rules around pirating and how insurance companies handle pirating and kidnapping and all this other stuff.

306.121 - 307.682 Krissy Hoadley

Pirates are a real thing even now.

307.915 - 325.098 Bryan Green

Pirates are a real thing, and they're not just a real thing in the places where you think they might be. This is not like Pirates of the Caribbean, though they have pirates in the Caribbean. That's not the places where you're most scared. It's like around the Horn of Africa, up into the Straits of Juarez or whatever it is, Suez, the Suez Canal.

325.738 - 331.666 Bryan Green

All those different places, but now it happens quite frequently all around the world, including one that I watched.

Chapter 6: How does Kratom relate to current drug trends?

332.087 - 345.753 Bryan Green

A guy was trying to steal a boat in Florida, like... They show up in this little dinghy. They pull up next to a boat that I wouldn't target for pirating if it was me. It just looks like a shitty houseboat to me.

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346.474 - 371.767 Bryan Green

But they pull up, and one guy jumps out to jump onto the ship that he's trying to commandeer, and he falls into the water, grabs onto one of the bumpers like they have on the side of the boat, and he's begging, begging the guy who owns the boat, who's taking the video, to let him on board because he doesn't know how to. Swim? Yeah. And the guy's like, you just tried to take over my boat.

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371.968 - 380.8 Bryan Green

Why would I let you on my ship? And eventually cooler heads prevail. And he does let him on the boat, but then he ties him up and waits for the police to show up.

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380.82 - 382.402 Krissy Hoadley

I'd be calling the police right away.

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382.683 - 386.188 Bryan Green

Anyway, I don't know how we got on this subject. Yachting? Yachting.

Chapter 7: What are the risks associated with nitrous oxide use?

386.348 - 388.671 Bryan Green

I was watching a reel. Yachting. Yachting.

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388.692 - 392.918 Krissy Hoadley

And your uncle, who's the... The pirate expert.

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392.938 - 397.504 Bryan Green

Preeminent lawyer on international shipping and insurance law. Where does he live? He's in Indianapolis.

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397.524 - 398.826 Krissy Hoadley

I bet he's interesting to talk to.

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399.026 - 410.603 Bryan Green

He is. He's spoken at like the UN. He's done a lot of stuff. Now, it's all a lot of paperwork, right? It's all a lot of legal jargon. And international maritime law is just –

Chapter 8: What lessons can we learn from the discussion on addiction?

410.583 - 424.598 Bryan Green

what it sounds like. It's international. It's on the ocean. And it's only as good as the people who agree to adhere to it. And so I'm sure there's a lot of like loosey goosey bullshit that goes on in international maritime law.

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424.938 - 448.05 Bryan Green

But he is one of those attorneys that just kind of helped form the field, so to speak, as shipping companies grew increasingly concerned over their goods and their wares and their people. And what do we do and how do we handle it? Right. Who gets paid out when this happens? Or how do you handle a kidnapping or a hijacking of a boat? How is that all? How is the minutiae handled in the paperwork?

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448.151 - 452.598 Bryan Green

And so the devil's in the details. And my uncle writes the details. So there you go.

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452.779 - 459.27 Krissy Hoadley

That's crazy. Well, there's a lot of like offshore oil drilling, too. And I've heard those things are dangerous.

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459.773 - 469.168 Bryan Green

I don't really know, but I've watched a lot of documentary footage and a lot of YouTube videos and social media videos about people who are out on those ships.

469.288 - 483.271 Krissy Hoadley

Yeah, I met somebody on a plane one time, a guy, and he was on his way to go do that. I think I was on my way to New Orleans and he was going there too. And he was going to get on one of those rigs out in the ocean for months. Yeah. At a time.

483.452 - 493.898 Bryan Green

I also knew a guy in my 20s who would come to one of the bars that I worked at and he would come in like there would be like a two month stretch where he was there every other night.

493.919 - 494.039 Unknown

Yeah.

494.219 - 510 Bryan Green

A lot. He was young. He was probably my age at the time. So early 20s. And then he would be gone for six months at a time because he was out in Houston. He would be out in Houston. He'd get on a helicopter. They'd drop him off. He'd live there for three or four months.

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