Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
What is God's name? Howard. Who? Howard. Howard? How do you know his name is Howard? Because. Because what?
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Who? Howard be thy name. Howard be thy name?
On this episode of The Commercial Break.
Yeah, I'm going to name a new sexual position that one after an iron bed. The pop-off?
Chapter 2: How did Bryan's meditation app become a scam?
Yeah, I'm going to throw a leg over here and a foot over there, and I'm going to go, we're doing the pop-off.
Your knee pops out of joint.
I know. Here's my boner, my half boner.
My prostate is enlarged.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of the commercial break. Kristen Joy Holdley. Best to you, Kristen.
Best to you, Brian.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Hey, I wanted to say a couple of things about some of our nice guests that have come on. Hannah Berner is so very fucking sweet.
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Chapter 3: What is the story behind the Toyota Previa?
Yeah.
Remember when Lunel told us never to judge a book by its cover? Yes. I was never judging Hannah anyway, but I'm just saying that Lunel told us that. Hannah is so sweet. Not only did she come on and we had a fantastic time with her.
We had a blast, yeah.
But then on top of that, she, and I know this may sound like small potatoes to some people, but it feels like a really nice thing for her to do for us, is that she shared a post on Instagram about her being on the commercial break.
Now, all you need to do is be a casual observer of Instagram, a user of Instagram for like seven minutes to understand that Hannah Berner has clout and the commercial break has the opposite of whatever clout means.
we do not have anybody that follows us on instagram it's growing but it grows very slowly yeah we have no riz whatsoever maybe we don't do a great job of it but i just wanted to say i thought it was very sweet of her to share that she was on the commercial yeah and i mean she just was so much fun i and you're right judging a book by its cover i wasn't judging her but i didn't know much about her yeah um and so afterwards that's what's been actually a really great part
of our interviews i agree with you too is finding out more about people we know or finding out about people that we have no idea getting to know them yeah i think it's a lot of fun and a lot of fun and i hope that the audience feels the same way but since there's three people listening fuck all three of you if you don't yeah gustavo astrid and jeff screw you guys we don't care what you think anymore
We've outgrown you. We're big time. Yeah, and I just wanted to share that if I was Hannah Burner and had come on the commercial break, I would do everything in my power to keep that a secret, actually. I can't believe some of these people come on this show.
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Chapter 4: How does Phantom of the Opera relate to personal experiences?
It's so crazy. It's so crazy. And, you know, Blue also is making more appearances than any guest. She is. I mean, oh my... Who were we recording with? It was Tom. Tom. Tom Papa. The episode just came out yesterday, actually.
He's a big deal.
To us, he's a big deal. Because we've been watching Tom Papa for a long time, and he's a very notable comic in our generation, in our ethos. And I think he's still a big deal to this day. He sells out theaters, right?
Chapter 5: What are the details about Peter Popoff and his miracle holy water?
The guy is great. The poor... bastard, had to listen to 28 minutes, no, 38 minutes, 48 minutes, however long we went, had to listen to Blue barking the entirety of the episode. And there's nothing that I could do about it.
What am I going to do? We're in the middle of the interview, so yeah. And we had recorded another episode earlier that day, and she was silent. I was notably silent. And then I thought, good, good. I thought, good, good, she's gone to heaven. Yeah, she is.
exactly she's gone around i don't know where she is but she's not outside the door barking but that all changed it all changed as soon as second tom papa got on it's as if she thought tom papa was in the room with us and she had to protect us from tom papa i even at one point saw tom kind of cock his head like he was listening to see if it was his dog or something you know
Like, hey, you guys want to pause for a second? And Tom comes on and he's like, wow, you guys got a really professional studio over there. And then I have to stop to explain to him that my dog, the landscaper, and three of my children are in the bathtub within 15 feet of our professional studio.
Chapter 6: What is the Popoff sex position and its significance?
So I'll be back. Hold that thought. Astrid sent me this reel the other day and she's like, pure green family, pure hell. And I was like, what does that mean? So I pop it open, you know, because that's what Astrid and I do. We lay three feet from each other and just send reels back and forth. That's how we communicate now.
When she's mad at me for something, she'll send me a reel about some girl complaining about her husband doing the exact same thing. Or sometimes when she's, you know, everyone has a moment, they get fussy or whatever. And I think Astrid and I are really good.
Both of us are really good at identifying when a little lashing out might not be because we're actually angry at the other person, but because we're just tired, angry, fussy, whatever, hungry, whatever it is. So we do a lot of apologizing to each other. I'm sorry it wasn't my best today. You know, whatever. So Astrid sends me a lot of reels, you know, that is basically, I'm a woman.
Chapter 7: How do therapy and psychics compare in today's society?
You know, it's when it's like me apologizing to my husband for being crazy today. And it's like, you know, doing whatever it is. And so Astrid often sends me those. I know it's her apology. And I'm like, oh, that's okay. But she sends me this. Green family, pure hell. And then I open it up. And it is a lady who's got, I'm going to guess, 20, maybe 30 Yorkies in the backyard.
And she's throwing this big bouncy ball in the yard. And all of the Yorkies are like... It's 30 Yorkies just going crazy.
I swear to God, it triggered me.
I needed to meditate real quick. I was like, oh my God, I can't take it.
Chapter 8: What are Bryan's final thoughts and plans for future episodes?
Well, thank God you've got that app that you still can't figure out how to cancel. I have no idea.
I have no idea. I would say the name on air. It's a total ripoff, by the way. They got me in on the premise that they were going to give me some good meditation. They were going to do certain types of meditation that I'm into. They were like these guided meditations, a type of meditation that I'm into. Mm-hmm.
Like full length, you know, full, like hour long body scans and stuff like this, which I do all the time, baby. By the way, I look at my body and I go, holy shit, you got old and fat and tired looking real quick.
So this meditation is to make you feel better? That's right.
It's a meditation to identify how old and fat you are. And so I thought that's what they were getting me in with. It was, this is years ago on it. I mean, so long ago when I first got on Instagram. And so I thought to myself, yeah, this is, I could use this, you know, 1999. A month, I thought to myself, that's a small price to pay for peace of mind.
For Zen.
Yeah. And it ended up being a portal for shitty conspiracy theories and dumb ideas about medicines and doctors. I mean, honestly.
it's just conspiracy theory 101 across the board so not only do I not use it I wouldn't use it and I don't like it but they keep on claiming it's not them even though it's their phone number I'll call them and they'll be like nope it's not them not us and then I'll call the phone number on the charge and the same guy will pick up and I'll be like well this was on the charge nope not us wrong Mr. Pickford altogether
Fucking assholes. Can you give me your username and password? No!
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