Chapter 1: What are the relationship deal-breakers discussed in this episode?
how you like your eggs fried or fertilized the way you move your hips girl make me hypnotized how you like your eggs fried or fertilized on this episode of the commercial break If Jeff liked to dress up like a ballerina and then have you walk him around the house with a leash, right? Then I think you'd probably say... I'd be open to it. You'd be open to it.
Well, you learn something new every day about your partner. And now I'm even more curious about what's going on at that house.
I, you know, might indulge that once a year or something.
Once a year.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is the medication manager of The Commercial Break. Best to you, Chrissy.
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Chapter 2: How does missing a flight for Starbucks impact a relationship?
Best to you, Brian. That's what happens when you try and get smart with your words. You get all tongue-tied and twisted. I have this routine that I'll go through a lot of times before the commercial break to make sure that my tongue stays sharp since I do have a lazy tongue. What they call a lazy tongue. I see you want a sharp tongue. Yeah. So you know what I do? You ready for my warm-up?
Titular ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. Waka-flaka-flame. Titular ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. Waka-flaka-flame. And I'll do that for like 30 minutes in the morning on the way home from driving the kids to school. Oh, okay. Still doesn't work.
Chapter 3: What are the consequences of extreme cheapskate marriages?
I didn't know that was your routine. It doesn't work. Yeah, it does not work. I should go Similins. Yes. Similins. That makes sure my S's are strong. Hey, Chrissy.
Hey, Brian.
I'm going to tell you a story. I'm going to tell you like, I'm going to give you the recap version of the story. And then I want your opinion. And then we're going to talk about this at length. Okay. Man goes to airport with wife. Man and wife are not on time for the plane.
Chapter 4: How do miscommunications affect relationships?
They are rushing to get to the plane. Wife says, I want my Starbucks coffee before we get on the plane. Man says, we don't have enough time. Woman says, I don't give a shit. I'm getting my Starbucks. We have plenty of time. We'll get to the plane on time. Man says, get to the plane at your own peril. I'm leaving. I'm going to the plane. Leaves his wife at the Starbucks to get on the plane.
Wife misses flight.
Count your flipping blessings, darling.
So Astrid and I were having this discussion yesterday. I want your opinion, but I'll give you mine first. I'm going to mansplain it to you first. Uh, I don't agree with the guy. I would never leave Astrid at an airport. That would never happen, because I know how much trouble I would be in if that happened. Plus, we have a lot of children, and I need her help managing those children.
Chapter 5: What role does sexual compatibility play in relationships?
Right. But I would never leave a loved one at an airport. I just think that's a really shitty thing to do, no matter how angry I was at their time management. But he was correct. He was right, because she did miss the flight. So they actually didn't have time to get to Starbucks. So in my opinion, he's an asshole, but he's a right asshole. He did the right thing. I mean, he was right.
Not he did the right thing. He was right about the situation. They obviously didn't have time for Starbucks.
Who says I don't care about missing the plane? I need my Starbucks.
A woman who gets left at the airport. A person who gets left at the airport. That's as simple as that. Not even a woman, a person. I know people like this. I know people like this. Yes, I do.
Esther and I were talking about it and it's like, if the Starbucks is right there and you're waiting for your seat to be called, if you're like E... First of all, there's a Starbucks at like every... Every corner of the airport. At least this airport that we have at the Atlanta airport. Yeah.
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Chapter 6: How do political views become deal-breakers in relationships?
But you're right. It's like they have a coffee shop or one of those little vending machines or a place where you can get caffeine at every corner.
Also coffee on the plane.
Yeah, that's true, too. I mean, granted, that coffee isn't all that great. But who cares? If you, like, really need coffee, just put a bunch of cream in it. It'll taste the same as any Starbucks. Cream, sugar, a little jelly donut. I'm not sure what they put in that Starbucks shit. But the truth is you don't need a coffee that bad that you're going to miss your flight. Yes.
So now you want to hear the actual story?
So then also you're going to be all caffeinated up and pissed off that you missed the flight.
Listen, I would need the pooper immediately.
Are you just like, oh, thank God I've got my Starbucks.
I've got my Starbucks.
Missed the flight, but.
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Chapter 7: What insights are shared about seeking sister wives?
I'll be back in 17 to 20 minutes.
Tell them to hold the flight.
They're going to close the doors. I'll be back in two minutes. Tell them to hold on. Who needs Starbucks that bad?
No, and you know, too, a lot of times they'll start paging the people that are missing from the flight.
I was paged once.
I've been paged before, too.
I was paged once, and they actually were pulling the thing back. This is way back before. I think it was before 9-11, actually. So they were pulling that little thing.
whatever that is a little sky sky ramp or whatever it is they were pulling it back the doors were closed they had been calling me for 30 minutes yeah and I was at a bar too drunk to realize they were calling my name yeah until the guy that I was sitting with having a drink with I just met my best friend in the world you know what I'm saying and he was like man they've been calling this dude for a while and I was like that's me yeah
Brian Green, Delta now, Delta paging Brian Green. Brian Green, you're an asshole. Everybody's waiting for you. Brian Green.
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Chapter 8: How does podcasting impact personal relationships?
And I was like, oh, man, that guy's got the same name. That is me. That's me. I got to get going. And I've never been stared down like that in my entire life.
When I got on that flight, I was like, oh, yeah, people are pissed.
way in the back of the plane. I had to walk through almost every aisle and people were just, they were shaking their heads, throwing me daggers. Luckily, I was too drunk to care.
I was going to say, you were too drunk to care.
I slept it off during the flight. The worst headache when we got to Atlanta. Worst headache. But, you know, but that was a different time and place. Yeah. Now you've got to be there on time. There is no time. No time. Like Kelly Kapowski said in Saved by the Bell in the episode, the generation-defining episode, I'm on speed. No time! No time! There's no time. I've got no time!
Yeah, that whole situation's crazy to me.
It's nuts. Do you want to hear the story? Yes. Okay, I'll read you the story. This is actually from a Reddit post, by the way, so he even knows it's true at the end of the day. Starbucks is awfully expensive these days, but it may have cost one man his marriage.
An anonymous traveler revealed on Reddit that he recently left his wife holding the bag and her skinny no-foam latte in an airport departure lounge after she snuck away from the boarding gate for a quick coffee shortly before their transcontinental flight. Oh, my God. I'm sorry, but this human is dumb.
That's my opinion!
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