So You Married A Gringo...

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The Commercial Break 57 min 4 speakers 8 chapters transcribed
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

Bryan Green 0:00
Would you rather have a radish than sex?
Astrid 0:03
If it was good sex, then I would rather have sex. But if it was bad sex, I'd rather have a radish.
Bryan Green 0:15
On this episode of the Commercial Break. Well, what if I do need some help? You know who needs some help? Blue. What are we going to do with this dog thing? That's my last question for the show.
Astrid 0:26
Maybe we should launch a giveaway.
Bryan Green 0:30
I thought about this a long time ago.
Astrid 0:32
I would love to give them blue.
Bryan Green 0:34
I just don't think that would be fair to the person we're giving the dog away to. That's not a giveaway. That's like being punished. It's like you can go to jail or take blue. I'd go to prison. I think I'd go to prison. I'm being serious. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the greatest achievement of my life. My best friend, my lover, my wife, the person who raises my children so wonderfully. Astrid, Astrid, best to you. Best to you, Brian. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. I'm earning marriage miles. Marriage miles, is that what we're calling it now?
Astrid 1:18
You forgot to say I'm the best... The person that makes the best ayakas.
Bryan Green 1:24
You do make the best ayakas, according to other people who have been brave enough to try those ayakas. I will not be doing that. Thank you anyway. I... How many... If you had to guess, big round number. Marriage miles, for those of you that don't know, is the system that Astrid and I have in place to determine how much trouble Brian is in at any given moment or how much credit I might have in the bank to do something like, I don't know, go out for a night with the boys or do that. Or, you know, I don't know, whatever. Go to the tanning bed. How many miles do I have to go to the tanning bed? All right, okay, we won't get into an argument about it here. But... A big round number, how many marriage miles do you think I'm in deficit currently?
Bryan Green 2:07
10,000? 20,000? 10,000. 10,000. That's good. 10,000 probably means that I'm going to get a little bit of the cold shoulder, maybe the side eye every once in a while. She's going to hand me the baby when it's got a dirty diaper because I have to do those things to earn more marriage miles to get myself back to square.
Astrid 2:23
Not the baby thing, though.
Bryan Green 2:24
No, I won't do poop.
Astrid 2:25
That doesn't earn you marriage miles.
Bryan Green 2:27
It doesn't?
Astrid 2:28
No, because you're a father.
Bryan Green 2:29
Well, that's good. That's why I don't ever... That's why I always complain when I smell shit on the baby. I'm like, oh, Astrid, how? But I can't do it. I can't do it, baby. No, I can't do it with the poop.
Astrid 2:40
But listen, we could... We could establish, like, a new... part of the program okay like you know where the credit cards like if you spent for every dollar you spend you accumulate point zero zero zero zero one mile yeah i mean i could make you the same deal like for every dollar you spend on me
Bryan Green 3:01
i'll award you marriage miles you're just forgetting one small detail in that whole thing and that is that i had the commercial break is my living and the commercial break is more than 10 000 marriage miles in deficit it's way in the black we don't if people would just start paying us i think we'd be okay but you know They... Whatever. Anyway.
Astrid 3:24
I'm not going to talk about it here yet. It's a lifetime program, so... It is a lifetime program. You don't have to accumulate them.
Bryan Green 3:29
Yeah. And with this current contract we have with the podcast, we will be doing this for a lifetime in order to get even. But, you know, thanks to the good people at Odyssey for taking a chance on us. On average, of all the people... I wanted to ask this of you, and now I'm here on the commercial break. What better place to start a marriage disagreement? On average... Of all the people that you know who have husbands, women that have husbands, would you say that I'm better on average or worse on average than the husbands in your friend and family group?

What is the significance of 'marriage miles' in a multicultural relationship?

Astrid 4:01
I mean, I don't want to offend my friends and family.
Bryan Green 4:04
No, no, no. This is the perfect place to do it. No one listens to the show.
Astrid 4:06
You don't have to worry about that.

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