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The Commercial Break

Tales From The Crypt

14 Aug 2024

Transcription

Chapter 1: What are the hosts' feelings about the end of the Olympics?

0.031 - 12.293 Unknown

I feel like in my 30s is where I really started to come to terms with who the fuck I actually was. And more importantly, who's wronged me. That's when I knew I was grown.

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16.541 - 18.985 Krissy Hoadley

On this episode of The Commercial Break.

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19.555 - 37.832 Bryan Green

I'm taking multiple trips, multiple trips. We're talking like 40 trips up and down, up and down, trying to get in this elevator. It got to one point when the cart was empty. I would just lug it down the stairs because I was getting sick of waiting for the elevator that is as slow as some of the people in the facility. I'm like, you don't have to match the speed of the people who live here.

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37.852 - 47.651 Bryan Green

You can actually go. The problem is, it's terrible. It's terrible. And I know I'm not too far off from one of these places, too.

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47.671 - 57.105 Krissy Hoadley

So I'm kind of depressed because I'm like, Jesus, just put me out of my misery. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.

Chapter 2: Who is RayGun and why is she mentioned in the episode?

61.304 - 68.752 Bryan Green

Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Holdley. Best to you, Kristen.

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68.772 - 69.893 Krissy Hoadley

Best to you, Brian.

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69.994 - 80.345 Bryan Green

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. Well, there's a little bit of sadness in my heart today. I feel a little bereft because I don't have any Olympics to watch.

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80.465 - 84.149 Krissy Hoadley

I know. I know. We're just fresh off the closing ceremony.

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84.229 - 84.99 Bryan Green

What will we do?

85.27 - 85.751 Krissy Hoadley

I know.

85.771 - 85.911

I know.

Chapter 3: What challenges does Bryan face with his mom's rehab situation?

85.891 - 86.812 Bryan Green

What will we do?

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87.093 - 95.463 Krissy Hoadley

It was always on all the time. You could always flip it on. I learned so much, too, about so many sports I didn't know were a sport much less worthy of the Olympics.

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95.483 - 114.227 Bryan Green

Well, let's be honest about it. I think we learned that some sports aren't sports in the Olympics for a reason and may not make it back to L.A. Let's talk about it all. Let's just get it out of our system, and that way we can move on with life, and we'll talk about it four years from now on episode number 12,622.

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114.832 - 134.955 Bryan Green

Well, first of all, I do have to say that I think, you know, I thought the big dick guy was going to be the guy of the year. We're all going to be talking about the big dick guy forever. Until I saw the Australian break dancer known as Ray Gunn. And I got completely obsessed.

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134.975 - 136.296 Krissy Hoadley

That was hilarious.

136.316 - 141.582 Bryan Green

Completely obsessed. What in the good fuck was that?

Chapter 4: What humorous stories arise from Bryan's elevator troubles?

142.034 - 168.148 Bryan Green

If you have not seen Ray Gunn, the Australian breakdancer, you must immediately put down this episode and go on Instagram or whichever social media of choice and search Ray Gunn. And you will find tens of thousands of videos. And she got a zero. A zero. I think she got a zero. She got no points scored because I don't know exactly what she was doing.

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168.429 - 171.213 Bryan Green

She was hopping around like a bunny and then flopping around on the floor.

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171.233 - 172.335 Krissy Hoadley

She was being creative, apparently.

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172.395 - 183.432 Bryan Green

Listen, I have to say this right out the get so that I'm not misunderstood. Making it to the Olympics is one of the hardest things a human being can ever do regardless. Oh, for sure.

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183.412 - 212.693 Bryan Green

of how terrible your performance is at the Olympics getting there is a huge accomplishment and just being on you know the stage the world stage is something that I can only dream of my body was not built for the Olympics it was barely built for anything for normal life yeah if I didn't have this mouth I might not be human I just might be like sludge I don't know I'm surprised I have so many children I'm surprised my body works below my mouth quite frankly

213.837 - 232.978 Bryan Green

if you want to see what it's like to have sex with brian go watch ray gun and that's what it's like to have sex with brian i think i'm some smooth love maker and everybody else is like why is he flopping around like that what is that Even my daughter agrees.

232.998 - 233.139 Unknown

I know.

Chapter 5: How does Bryan's mom's QVC addiction impact their family?

233.159 - 235.523 Bryan Green

She's running around outside the door screaming at me.

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236.665 - 242.534 Unknown

She's like, why did you put me on this earth? No! Put me back in the tomb!

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242.554 - 251.91 Bryan Green

In the womb? The tube. In the tube. The tomb. No. The tube.

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252.312 - 279.957 Bryan Green

this ray gun man she is uh a piece of work yeah here is the most amazing fact that you will learn ray gun is the australian breakdancer who got zero points because she quite frankly did uh it was almost comical i think at first i thought this was like a saturday night live yes i thought somebody was playing a joke on the internet i thought someone's trolling this is really funny good job a plus internet but it wasn't i then went to peacock and watched the performance

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279.937 - 291.308 Bryan Green

And it was more disturbing than I could have ever imagined. And disturbing in the most hilarious way. Quite frankly, it made me laugh out loud. And in that, I thought she did something.

Chapter 6: What are the hosts' thoughts on the closing ceremonies of the Olympics?

291.589 - 293.691 Bryan Green

She'll be recognized for something.

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293.791 - 295.112 Krissy Hoadley

She brought comedic relief.

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295.132 - 309.707 Bryan Green

She did. She flopped around on that floor like a, I don't know, like a chicken with its legs cut off or something. I don't know. She did that bunny hop into that. And then she flopped on the floor like that.

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309.687 - 314.698 Krissy Hoadley

Yeah, like parts of it seemed real and then parts of it seemed a joke.

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314.718 - 325.401 Bryan Green

Oh, I don't know. I thought the whole thing. I mean, if you watch the other competitors, then you realize that there was something there she was trying to put together. Because the breakdancing wasn't what I expected.

325.381 - 350.899 Bryan Green

i know i was so excited about it and it wasn't what i expected yeah me either i thought we're talking real b-boys on the cardboard you know head spins you know uh i used to do that when they on their back like the back row i can't remember what you call it but like the back roll you used to slide and then roll yourself on your back i would that was the one move that i knew how to do as a small child but the b-boys of the 80s they were like fucking badass man they would

350.879 - 366.002 Bryan Green

kick it and clock it and crank it and all that other stuff and i thought we were going to see like real street ass b and i guess that's what it is now yes it is morphed into flopping on the floor like a golden doodle

365.982 - 388.277 Bryan Green

but listen all credit where credit is deserved it okay it was she was the highlight for sure she was the highlight it brought awareness and she's gotten more attention than the guy with the fucking 60 inch schlong so in that sense I think she's accomplished whatever it is she's accomplished here's the most amazing fact about Ray Gunn

Chapter 7: How do the hosts discuss the impact of anxiety on their dogs?

388.257 - 413.286 Bryan Green

Raygun is a professor of breakdance studies at the University of Australia. She is like a certified expert on this subject. She's in her 30s. She is twice the age of most of the other competitors. And she looked it. And I mean, not like in her face, like on the dance floor. She looked it. It looked like she was avoiding breaking a hip is what it looked like.

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413.266 - 438.987 Bryan Green

it looked like what uh what it was what i would imagine my mom to look like if she was to break dance this was amazing and i am absolutely obsessed and i hope somewhere the gods are smiling on ray gun and she gets like a reality show or we see her in other competitions like all of a sudden espn starts picking up the australian breakdancing competitions so we can see more of ray gun ray gun do not go away girl you got to stay here and make us smile

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438.967 - 460.215 Bryan Green

That is the best shit I have ever seen, and I applaud you for your efforts, for your time, for your accomplishments, and I applaud you for the goofy-ass performance that you did because it brought a smile to the entire fucking internet. It was awesome. It was just awesome. So that's the Olympic gold for me is Ray Gunn. Good job, Ray Gunn. Good job.

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Chapter 8: What final reflections do the hosts share about their experiences?

460.195 - 484.438 Bryan Green

So Ray Gunn was there. Then, you know, lots of controversy around Noah Lyles, who did the—he raced while having COVID and forgot to tell everybody he had COVID. I thought that was— This is a little shitty, actually. Like, I mean, OK, listen, I'm not I'm not covid hysterical right now. Everyone's getting it. Everyone's got it.

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484.458 - 488.583 Bryan Green

I don't even test for it anymore because, OK, if I got it, what am I going to do? Am I going to?

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488.603 - 493.389 Krissy Hoadley

Well, I was like a little while back and I was for sure that I had covered. But the test said negative.

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493.449 - 502.402 Bryan Green

I've tested once for covid in the last year, probably. And and it came back negative. Yeah. But, you know, it's going around, and it's going to be part of our lives.

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502.422 - 510.118 Krissy Hoadley

Well, the thing is that it can affect different people different ways. Sure. So, yeah, to have it and be... Not tell people.

510.619 - 530.045 Bryan Green

Yeah. You know, and then there's other, like, athletes at the top of their performance game, and obviously... If you just watched Noah, then you saw that he barely made it to the finish line. They had to wheel him out in a wheelchair. So he obviously was being affected by this sickness. I love Noah. And, you know, he's a cocky guy, but he's got the legs to back it up.

530.206 - 537.103 Bryan Green

So when you're cocky and you win, then there's not much to say, right? Yeah. When you're cocky and you lose, then you're just a dick. Yeah.

537.123 - 539.168 Krissy Hoadley

There's a difference between confidence and cockiness.

539.229 - 550.497 Bryan Green

Yeah. So I got to say, you know, great. Noah's awesome. But I don't know about that move of just not letting anybody know you have COVID-19 until they actually drag you off the fucking track.

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