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The Commercial Break

TCB Classic: Hey Girl, It's Me...Carl!

27 May 2025

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the premise of this TCB Classic episode?

8.907 - 39.72 Bryan Green

On this episode of The Commercial Break. If you asked me today, Memorial Day 2025, whether or not I regret having a wise idea to do 12 episodes of The Commercial Break in a 24-hour period, I would tell you no. Nay, no I do not. Because my original idea was to do 24 episodes in 24 hours. to which my longtime and very faithful co-host said, fuck you. And cooler heads prevailed.

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40.08 - 58.221 Bryan Green

I dug my heels in for a few days, but when she just flat out refused to go along with the idea, I figured it might be hard to do 24 episodes in 24 hours if I had no co-host. So 12 of them. That's what we settled on. I still think there's a chance she might not show up, but I'm hoping you do.

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Chapter 2: How did Carl Lentz's early life influence his ministry?

58.441 - 87.211 Bryan Green

DCB's Endless Day at the end of this week. Saturday, May 31st. And in preparation for our big 12 episodes, we're missing one regular episode this week. So the math still isn't mathing. I intended to put out 16 episodes in one week, but now it's going to be 15 as we just could not record enough guests to have one play today for a TCB infomercial Tuesday. So, in return, I give you a TCB classic.

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87.532 - 100.12 Bryan Green

Every time I do that damn Carl voice, you know the one. Hey girl, it's Carl. That one. Based on the infamous preacher Carl Lentz, we get a slew of messages on our TCB hotline.

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Chapter 3: What controversies surround Carl Lentz and Hillsong Church?

100.1 - 123.097 Bryan Green

90% of them are from you, the good-natured listener who takes comfort in the laughable hypocrisy of megachurches. However, there is a small segment of the audience that gets really annoyed when I go after these guys and girls. I don't know. Call me a throwback. Call me a classic. I got a soft spot in my heart for the kind of satire that can actually open eyes to the world around us.

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123.357 - 143.349 Bryan Green

Now, I don't place any importance on that satire that I'm doing. I just find it funny myself. We're throwing this back to April 15th, 2022. If you even remember that far back when Chrissy and I reviewed me reviewing a documentary about Hillsong where Carl was a preacher.

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Chapter 4: How does the podcast address hypocrisy in religious leaders?

143.489 - 164.656 Bryan Green

This is the first time that Carl voice makes an appearance. along with some other noteworthy commentary on megachurches in general. You'll also note in this episode that the actual commercial breaks inside of the commercial break, the liner where Rachel tells you how to find us on social media and our phone number, and the commercials that follow those liners actually just come out of nowhere.

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164.716 - 186.426 Bryan Green

They're random places in the episode because this episode was made before we even had advertisements. That's how long ago this was. And yes, I do have to pay some bills, so you'll excuse me for dropping in a couple of advertisements. All right, enjoy this TCB classic, also known as Hey Girl, It's Carl. Episode 173, for those that are counting.

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186.526 - 192.615 Bryan Green

We'll be back tomorrow with a fresh episode, and at the end of the week for 12 or 13 fresh episodes. Enjoy!

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Chapter 5: What humorous anecdotes are shared about Carl Lentz?

192.635 - 211.347 Bryan Green

The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Yes, ma'am. That's another episode of the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend Kristen Hoagley. Best to you, Kristen. Best to you, Brian.

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211.367 - 213.511 Krissy Hoadley

I almost just said Happy New Year.

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213.532 - 215.576 Bryan Green

I told you. No, no, no, no.

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Chapter 6: How do the hosts critique modern church practices?

215.636 - 231.989 Bryan Green

No, no, no, no. I gotta tell my daughter. No, no, no, no. And she'll go like this back to me. She'll finger wag back to me. If I tell her no, she'll finger wag. And if I tell my son no, he just does whatever the hell he pleases. But he's a three-nager, and that's what we've got to deal with. Best to you out there in the podcast universe.

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232.009 - 234.975 Bryan Green

Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this, The Commercial Break.

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Chapter 7: What insights are provided about celebrity culture and religion?

235.296 - 238.883 Bryan Green

The only one you'll ever need, in case you're wondering. That's it. Don't worry about those other commercial breaks.

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238.863 - 240.005 Krissy Hoadley

Especially not the vlog.

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240.105 - 249.358 Bryan Green

This is not the commercial break you're looking for. Yeah, the vlog that never seen the light of day until I decided to make it see the light of day. How bad? How bad was that?

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249.518 - 251.561 Krissy Hoadley

We both made fun of our younger selves.

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251.701 - 253.363 Bryan Green

Yeah, I mean, listen, we all make mistakes.

Chapter 8: What final thoughts do the hosts leave listeners with?

253.984 - 260.458 Bryan Green

We're going to look back on this in 10 years and go, well, that's a fucking train wreck. We probably should have gotten jobs.

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264.686 - 265.968 Krissy Hoadley

Hey, we're living in the moment.

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267.391 - 291.775 Bryan Green

Yes, Your Honor, in bankruptcy court. I was trying my best. Look at what it could have been. It could have been much worse, Your Honor. It could have been much worse. So a lot of stuff to get through today. Let's jump right into it. I... You know, we just got back from having a little break. And so when I was on vacation, I didn't have access to my normal viewing activities.

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292.517 - 310.578 Bryan Green

Because I will say this about the Disney cruises. No TLC, no Discovery, no nothing. We'll say this about the Disney cruises. I have been on the much bigger cruise ships, and the internet was as if you were at your house. You could make phone calls. You could internet it. No problem. You could download, stream, do whatever you want. The Disney cruise had miserable fucking internet.

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311.339 - 313.945 Bryan Green

You couldn't even get on a website. That's for a reason. It took like 30 minutes.

314.086 - 315.529 Krissy Hoadley

They want you to be out and about.

315.509 - 333.097 Bryan Green

No, they want you to buy their internet program. That's what they want. They block your phones. They have a phone blocker because we're not that far off the coast. Like, I mean, you can pick up cell phones in Miami until you're probably 30 or 40 miles away, I would imagine. I'm not a technologist, but I imagine that's how it goes.

333.137 - 333.518 Unknown

Yeah, no.

333.498 - 354.966 Bryan Green

They black your fucking cell phone and then they tell you you got to buy, you know, 300 megs for $30. You know what 300 megs is? It's like one really good selfie is what that is. And so someone sends you a text message with a fucking picture in it and you're fucked. You just spent $30. I know. Anyway. Anywho. I didn't have any. But that's okay. I wasn't there to watch TLC.

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