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The Commercial Break

TCB Infomercial: Jay Pharoah

24 Sep 2024

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.031 - 16.117 Krissy Hoadley

We are all in this thing together. We are all messed up. And no matter how messed up you think you are, there's always somebody more f***ed up than you. You understand?

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16.137 - 16.698

That's real talk. Real talk.

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17.098 - 19.542 Bryan Green

On this episode of The Commercial Break...

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19.994 - 42.222 Krissy Hoadley

It's like when you get on Instagram now, you don't know if the girl is real or not. You don't know if that's an AR. You don't know if she's artificial intelligence or you don't know if she was born from the sack. You don't know if she came from the sack or if she came from imagination. You don't know anymore. From the quantum computer. I'm talking about the embryonic sack.

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42.242 - 44.046 Unknown

That's what I'm talking about.

44.066 - 50.802 Krissy Hoadley

I mean, I wasn't speaking on my sacks. I was speaking on the embryo sack. That's what I was talking about.

53.027 - 57.578 Bryan Green

The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

61.996 - 82.633 Unknown

Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoardley. Best to you, Kristen. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us as we lead up into our live events next week. Skidding in. Skiddy-doo-dah. Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo. I'm picturing more like a skid.

82.673 - 104.612 Unknown

Yeah, more like a slam into the back of the improv. Stumble our way into an empty room, talk for a couple of hours, get drunk, and pretend it never happened. That's right. Just like Justin Timberlake. As we're recording, we're finding out the breaking news that Justin Timberlake has avoided any responsibility in his drunk driving case.

Chapter 2: What insights does Jay Pharoah share about his experience on SNL?

346.493 - 360.504 Unknown

I'm like, is anybody else having trouble with this? There's a Reddit post. I don't know, hundreds and hundreds of comments deep about how no one else... Had the valid code either. Right. And it was just insane. They can't get this right. How can they not get this?

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Chapter 3: How does Jay Pharoah feel about the impact of AI on entertainment?

360.804 - 384.771 Unknown

I say go back to the days where you had to stand in line or call somebody that answered the fucking phone and got you the tickets to be available. Well, you know what concert ticket you can always get. TCB Live. Well, that and Menfo. Oh, Menfo. Okay. All right. Well, I wasn't thinking that far ahead. It's in like four weeks. Well, I know, but TCV Live is in like a week. So there you go.

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384.791 - 407.721 Unknown

I'm just saying, if you ever need a hookup, Brian, I'm your girl. Well, thank you, Chrissy. I really appreciate it. I really enjoyed my one Menfo experience, and I would like to go back if my children will let me. I don't know that they're going to allow it. Who's playing at Menfo this year? Are tickets still available? Yes, tickets are still available. Well, the headliners, Jack White on Sunday.

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408.041 - 432.476 Unknown

Yeah, Cody Jenkins on Friday. And Saturday is a little Goose and Trey Anastasio. Can you believe it? Goose and Trey playing together. Fish and Goose. It's an all-animal Saturday at the Mempho Fest. Memphofest.com. You can get your tickets. It's Memphofest.com, right? Yes. Memphofest.com. You can get your tickets. You're going to be in the Memphis area.

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432.496 - 455.366 Unknown

This is like one of those festivals that doesn't get headline news like Bonnaroo or Burning Man or any of that, but it is a fucking fantastic festival. It's getting there. It's getting there. I know. It's the seventh year. Congratulations to Jeff. That's Chrissy's husband right there. Jizzy Jazz. Jizzy Jazz Jeff. Yeah, the roots are going to be there. I'm excited. Unbelievable.

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455.386 - 474.508 Unknown

All right, so you can get your tickets if you want to. That's when? That is October. It's that second, well, the first full weekend in October. First full weekend in October. Whatever that is, you can go. I'm just kidding. Yeah, something like that. You can go and get tickets. I'm also only thinking about our TCB live. I know. That's all I can think about, quite frankly. Yeah.

474.877 - 491.586 Unknown

Like, let me just get through that. I know. And then I can think about everything else. I'm just trying to figure out exactly what we're going to say. I'm still trying to figure out what we're going to say. TCB live tickets are available, but in the show notes, but let us not talk all about that because.

Chapter 4: How does Jay Pharoah describe his new special 'Jared'?

491.566 - 512.667 Unknown

And more importantly, we should really shine the light on Jay Farrow, who's here today. JayFarrow.com. Watch Quiz with Balls on Hulu. Get his new special, In Your Brain, by going to his website, clicking on that link. It's free, I think. I think. Yeah. That's what I read. Anyway, we're recording this a couple days before the special comes out, but I think it's free. Jay can tell us.

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512.687 - 530.129 Unknown

Jay can tell us. We'll ask him when he gets here. So let's do this, Chrissy. Wait one second. There's a lot of buttons I have to press in order to get this right. Here we go. Awkward transition phase. Awkward transition phase. Why don't we do this, Chrissy? Let's go ahead and take a break so that we can pay a few bills.

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530.389 - 550.007 Unknown

And after we get back from that break, through the magic of telepodcasting, Jay Pharoah, SNL alum, impressionist extraordinaire, stand-up comic who's selling out of theaters all across the United States and elsewhere is going to be with us, and we'll have the opportunity to have a short discussion. What do you think? I think let's do it. All right, we'll be back.

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551.354 - 579.57 Unknown

Calling all pretty, pretty princesses. Yeah, that means you. I've got a favor to ask. If you wouldn't mind, could you just please follow us on Instagram at The Commercial Break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast. Not on social media? Text us instead at 212-433-3TCB. And if you find yourself wanting any more content from this already content saturated show, check out our website at tcbpodcast.com.

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579.59 - 600.324 Unknown

While you're contemplating what hilarious meme to send us, let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show. And Jay's with us now. Thanks, Jay. We really appreciate your time today. How are you? Hey, I'm good. How about you guys? We're doing good. I woke up this morning. I've been following you on Instagram on my personal account for a hot minute.

600.504 - 608.657 Unknown

And I saw you did a clip about how you were in Australia and you were talking about the kangaroos can bite your balls off because they have the strength of an alligator.

609.178 - 638.996 Krissy Hoadley

Well, not the kangaroos biting. The Tasmanian devil has the jaw straight. Yeah. The PSI is not to be messed with. That's what I'm saying. It's like getting ripped, like a Rottweiler, but like five of them, that's how it would be. So I would say kangaroos can beat you up. They try to make them look all fluffy and cute. They're not fluffy and cute. They're a weapon. They're dangerous, okay?

639.016 - 648.509 Krissy Hoadley

They're freaking dangerous, all right? Also... Six foot five turkeys can kill you out there called the cassowary. Yes.

648.99 - 654.278 Unknown

Oh, the cassowary. I've seen those things. Those are ugly little fuckers. And the koalas have chlamydia.

Chapter 5: What challenges does Jay face while performing live?

1303.927 - 1315.188 Krissy Hoadley

You're just... You're screwed. You just got to trust. You got to trust your own. You got to trust your own bunk bunker. You got to trust your own bunk. You can't go nowhere else.

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1315.228 - 1325.16 Unknown

You know what it is, Jay? Scott's got one too many security cameras. I don't think you need five security cameras at your front door. It just makes me a little nervous.

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1325.24 - 1338.981 Krissy Hoadley

Why so many security cameras? He created OnlyFans for all of his neighbors' feet. He's got all their feet up there. That's how he's staying in the house. Y'all don't even know. Y'all are paying his mortgage. You don't even realize that.

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1340.058 - 1360.868 Unknown

insane hey jay tell me about that so obviously you were in paris what uh did you attend olympics did you tend no i wasn't i didn't do that in paris i did it at kevin hart studios down the street oh man that's right i thought it was a street oh fuck yeah they had me tricked

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1361.59 - 1385.563 Krissy Hoadley

Listen, that's what's messed up about the world. See, you didn't even know if I was here or I was there. Just like when you get on Instagram now, you don't know if the girl is real or not. You don't know if that's an AR. You don't know if she's artificial intelligence or you don't know if she was born from the sack. You don't know if she came from the sack or if she came from imagination.

1385.603 - 1389.789 Krissy Hoadley

You don't know anymore. From the quantum computer.

1390.029 - 1390.129

Yeah.

1390.109 - 1392.854 Krissy Hoadley

I'm talking about the embryonic sack.

1392.874 - 1395.058 Unknown

That's what I'm talking about.

Chapter 6: What lessons does Jay learn from his time in Australia?

1461.197 - 1479.032 Unknown

No. It's a self-driving car. Oh, my God. That's scary as shit. I think some of this stuff is really, really scary. I do. I think some of this AI technology and driverless cars... I want you to think about this conundrum. I read this one time, and I'd like to get your opinion on it.

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1479.052 - 1500.604 Unknown

Someone was saying that the people who make the driverless cars, the people who actually program these, are actually... They're like... They're moralists, and here's why. You're programming a driverless car, and you give it a situation where it is going to either crash head-on with someone coming the opposite direction or hit a pedestrian. That car has to make a choice.

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1500.784 - 1521.466 Unknown

One way or the other, someone's life is changing, right? But which decision does it make? It's literally got people's lives in its hands. And I think that we may not think about it like that. But when I read this article, I was like, holy shit, that's absolutely true on so many different levels. There are Instagram models that have millions more followers than you and I will ever have.

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1521.667 - 1532.846 Unknown

And they have never... never taken a breath. They're just created out of whole thin air and people follow them and interact with them. It really is pretty fucking insane, the world we're living in right now.

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1532.866 - 1537.914 Krissy Hoadley

And make crazy comments like, oh my God, I want to marry you. You're so fine. Pow!

1538.796 - 1540.198 Unknown

Pow, sir!

1540.718 - 1569.35 Krissy Hoadley

Wow. That's a cartoon, sir. You are hitting on an animaniac. You are hitting on a cartoon. Hey, listen. If that's what you like, that's what you like. Hey, I know right now if Lois Griffin would walk up her sexy behind out of that damn television, I would try it. But I'm just saying. But I'm just saying, you know, I'm honest about it. You know, these guys are delusional. They're delusional.

1569.371 - 1570.312 Krissy Hoadley

Totally.

1570.592 - 1588.9 Unknown

Well, but listen, I think one of the challenges that we have as a society is, not to take it too deep, but one of the challenges we have as a society is that loneliness, because we don't communicate with our neighbors, because we don't interact face-to-face, loneliness is a disease. It's a condition, and it affects many more people than we'll ever know about.

Chapter 7: What humorous stories does Jay share about his encounters with animals?

1753.207 - 1782.669 Krissy Hoadley

I'm all I have, which is fallacy, which is a fallacious statement. That's not true. You always have folks that you can reach out to and talk to. But when we do have these devices and there's nothing but constant updates and notifications, you'll get more occupied with that. And you'll put that above personal relationships with people and connecting.

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1782.729 - 1807.104 Krissy Hoadley

Disconnecting is the goal of the future for folks. uh, being totally reliant on artificial intelligence and advancements. That's, that's what the goal is. And, um, you know, unluckily, you know, the aim is the children and that's what's happening. You know, you, you know, your sons, your nephews, nieces, they're just on their phones all the time.

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1807.264 - 1828.85 Krissy Hoadley

And, you know, you could be at the best event in the world and they're either Either they'll stream a little bit of it and then they're back on their phones, back on their phones doing other things. And the disconnect is ubiquitous. Everybody in it is just spreading like a wildfire and a virus. And we really need to pay attention to it before it's too late.

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1829.37 - 1839.662 Unknown

So you get frustrated. So well said, Jay. Do you get frustrated or does it happen at your live shows where people are like literally taping you instead of paying attention to you?

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1839.642 - 1871.882 Krissy Hoadley

Well, you know, the clubs of, you know, Dave Chappelle has done a really good job at incentivizing security to take measures when people are bootlegging. So a lot of the times now the clubs will have the customers put their phones in a pouch and they won't be able to use them. But if they do use their phones and I do see it, I'll call it out. And I'll be like, yo, what you doing?

1872.363 - 1885.14 Krissy Hoadley

And then I'll be like, yo, put your phone away. I'm like, I'm not ready for this to be out. Like, yo, son, you don't even know. Why are you trying to canal street me? What are you doing? You know what I mean?

1885.12 - 1903.463 Unknown

I'm trying to sell tickets in Ohio tomorrow. And if you put all my jokes out there, then people are just going to watch it online. And you know what? The first time that that happened at a big show, I went to a Chris rocks, uh, tour. Um, so he came just, you know, maybe we were the second city or the first city he came to here in Atlanta and they had those pouches.

1903.483 - 1922.029 Unknown

They had whatever they call them, the locks, you know, the thing. And I got, we were there like, you know, 30 minutes early to get our seats and get whatever drink. And I gotta be honest. It was a weird feeling at first, like the first five minutes, there's a bunch of people sitting around you and no one is on their phone. But after that five minute uncomfortable, what do we do?

1922.65 - 1940.981 Unknown

I was talking to my wife. I was talking to the guy next to me. I was laughing with the girl in front of me. We were getting excited about the show. Yes. And everyone was singularly focused on Chris Rock stalking the stage. That was it. That's all we did for almost two hours. And I thought to myself, we have small kids and babysitters and worry about that kind of shit.

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