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The Commercial Break

TCB Infomercial w. Des Bishop

18 Jun 2024

Transcription

Chapter 1: Who is Des Bishop and what is his background?

0.267 - 18.725 Unknown

I can't remember the last time I just took a shit. It was definitely over a decade ago. Because now I am so addicted. That used to be like me time. You know, that was everybody's like, yo, this is me time. Don't bother me. You know, on the throne. You know, now sometimes I'll be like, I'll be running home. I'm so addicted to my phone. I'll get home. I'll make it to the bathroom.

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18.745 - 43.808 Unknown

Wow, I just made it. And then I realized I left my phone in my jacket. I'll pick my pants back up. I'll go back outside. I'm like, oh my God. I was nearly with myself for two minutes. What would I have done with my thoughts had I not been able to swipe on my Instagram for two minutes while I'm in the bathroom? On this episode of The Commercial Break...

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44.277 - 52.297 Bryan Green

If your wife is anything like my wife, that nanny is going to be at least 60 years old. There's going to be no woman coming in this house.

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52.557 - 60.497 Unknown

I have a friend. Sadly, I lost his wife young. But anyway, the in-laws got the nanny, and they made a bad call.

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60.758 - 61.78 Des Bishop

Oh, they did? Ah!

61.76 - 67.389 Unknown

Well, good call or bad call, depends what side of the divide you're on.

67.409 - 68.531 Des Bishop

Yeah, exactly.

68.551 - 94.695 Unknown

Good call on the nanny's part. But as a result of that story, you can be sure our nanny is definitely going to be 60 years old. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Greene. This is Kristen Joy, only my best friend and the co-host of this wonderful podcast. Best to you, Chrissy.

94.835 - 95.897 Krissy Hoadley

Best to you, Brian.

Chapter 2: What inspired Des Bishop to learn Mandarin and perform stand-up in China?

417.902 - 436.936 Bryan Green

Poor guy. I mean, he's just old. That's just what it is. Yeah. He's old. He still seems like he's got it most days. But then sometimes you hear him speak and you're like, ah, is anybody home up there? And then you watch him dance and you're like, oh, shit. Oh, shit. Well, you know what they say. He's the lesser of two evil, in my opinion, in my personal opinion. He's the lesser of two evils.

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436.956 - 459.038 Bryan Green

But besides the point, not going to get into politics. We're going to talk to Des Bishop, who is a aggressively moderate... That's aggressively moderate political stance. We're excited. So we'll take a break and then we'll be back with Des. Oh, by the way, desbishop.net or go on to YouTube, please, and watch Of All People.

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459.058 - 469.733 Bryan Green

And let's ask him where he gets that name because I don't even understand what that title means, quite frankly. We'll do it. I don't understand a lot of stuff. I'm like Biden. I don't understand a lot of stuff. But I'm here with a microphone anyway. All right, we'll be back.

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473.122 - 497.712 Unknown

What's up, haters? Now let's get down to business. If you've got something to say, say it to our faces. And by that, I mean, text us or call us at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can and should also find us on Instagram at The Commercial Break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast, unless you want to fight me, in which case don't.

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497.692 - 512.629 Unknown

And if you're just desperate to see our shining faces in person, keep your ears peeled for ticketing information about TCB Live. As always, don't forget that you can find everything you could possibly need to find on our beautiful website, TCBpodcast.com. Bye.

517.891 - 521.822 Bryan Green

And Des is here with us now. Thank you so much, Des, for coming on the commercial break.

522.203 - 523.908 Krissy Hoadley

Hello, Desmond.

524.429 - 548.482 Bryan Green

Thanks for having me, guys. This is amazing. This is amazing to have you. I have to say, I imagine that you and your wife don't talk a lot or you wouldn't be here on the commercial break. I haven't reviewed what happened. We had Hannah on a couple of months ago. She was so lovely with us and gracious with her time. And so Desmond is the full name. Desmond Bishop.

548.602 - 561.047 Bryan Green

That is, I think, about as Irish of sounding of a name as it comes. But you are actually born in London. shot over to Queens, and then didn't get back to Ireland until you were 14 years old. Is that right?

Chapter 3: How does Des Bishop feel about the challenges of parenting as an older dad?

679.449 - 701.267 Bryan Green

Yes, you're an Irish guy born in London, so I'm sure that they've held that against you. Behind enemy lines. Well, I have to, but I have to ask. When you go to Ireland to do shows, because I think you actually were in Ireland doing shows when we talked to Hannah last time, did you get a warm reception from the Irish crowds?

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701.948 - 719.998 Unknown

Well, I think it's pretty important to point out that almost my entire comedy career has been an Irish comedy career. I didn't go to Ireland to do shows. I went to Ireland to go to boarding school when I was 14. And I got into comedy when I was 21, when I was still in college in Ireland. So almost my entire career has been in Ireland.

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720.218 - 733.76 Unknown

And even when I left Ireland, most of the time I didn't come back to the States. So the crowds definitely give me a warm reception, but only because they're the only crowds I've really known until very recently. until very recently. That's not true. And I was very lucky.

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734.08 - 757.114 Unknown

I was very lucky that because I was educated in Ireland, but I have this strong New York accent, I never lost my New York accent. Irish people, particularly in those early years, perceived me as an American, but they were shocked by how much I knew and how good I was at doing Irish accents and stuff like that. If you've ever seen Tom Cruise, Far and Away, you will know that Irish people...

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757.094 - 776.52 Unknown

Expect Americans to be really bad at Irish accents. Whereas I could do like every different area of Ireland. So to be honest, I got more than just a warm reception by Irish crowds. I got more than I deserved because actually I wasn't even that funny. I just happened to be more Irish than they were expecting this mouth to produce.

776.5 - 792.401 Bryan Green

You got a warm reception because it's kind of like you walked into foreign. It's almost like you're a foreigner in your own land. And they're like, oh, my God, he really knows a lot about our culture. And look at him. He's doing an RTE show. By the way, to tell my audience one thing right now, I got to say this before it slips away.

792.882 - 803.937 Bryan Green

Breaking China, Des Bishop Breaking China on YouTube is one of my favorite pandemic shows because I think that's maybe when it was released by RTE out into the wild or something.

803.977 - 821.295 Unknown

Yeah. No, it was on RTE in 2014. Yeah, it was on a long time ago. I released it into the wild myself. Without permission. Without permission, I might add. On YouTube, I think around that time, or I certainly did it again. I mean, it's shocking to me that you've seen it. I loved it.

821.455 - 833.187 Unknown

I feel like it doesn't have a lot of views, but it was originally an RTE show where I had one year to... I lived in Beijing for one year to learn Mandarin, to do stand-up in Mandarin.

Chapter 4: What insights does Des share about his experience with Irish culture?

926.249 - 950.045 Unknown

It's necessity. You very quickly pick up more than you would expect. Also, by the way, I was very rigid with myself. I didn't watch any English language programming for the full year, except for Breaking Bad. Yeah, you had to. It was some Chinese site like, you know, one of these iQiyi or one of these Chinese websites actually had the official permission to show Breaking Bad.

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950.285 - 971.19 Unknown

So it was coming up one day after it was coming out in the United States. So the only show I allowed myself to watch in English was Breaking Bad. The rest of the time I watched everything in Mandarin. I completely immersed myself, no English. And I wouldn't, I try not to talk to people in English. I only hung out with Chinese people. I was like the total nerd. Yeah.

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971.17 - 979.341 Bryan Green

You nailed it, by the way. You nailed it. And I got to say this. So real quick, what is the Irish language?

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979.361 - 997.882 Unknown

Gaelic? Is that what it would be? Gaelic is what they say over here. Gaeilge, officially, in the Irish language. And then in English, the word for the Irish language is Irish, you know? But... But in the States, when you say Irish, people think, isn't that just English with an Irish accent? Yeah. Yeah.

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998.042 - 1022.706 Unknown

So I had, you know, back in 2007, I had learned the Irish language for a TV series for Irish TV, which was also like a successful TV show, but also easy to do in terms of stand up about the Irish language because everyone in Ireland actually has to learn it, but they don't succeed. But it's a compulsory subject in school. Okay. But that is where I got the idea for the Chinese project.

1022.726 - 1032.841 Bryan Green

Okay, so pull back the curtains a little bit on this show that I loved so much. Do you approach RTE and say, hey, listen, I want to do this special? Is it your idea? Do you bring it to them or do they bring it to you?

1033.282 - 1035.565 Unknown

No, so the Irish language idea was my idea.

1035.605 - 1036.987 Bryan Green

I mean, the Chinese one.

1037.368 - 1060.099 Unknown

Yeah, but this is the journey. So the Irish language was my idea, did very well on RTE. And then coincidentally, I had a big breakup. I was actually engaged to be married back in those days. Scandalous. Big breakup. And suddenly I had like, I just had like freedom to do whatever I wanted, you know, career wise. So I had this obsession with China, the Chinese language.

Chapter 5: How has Des's comedy evolved since moving back to the U.S.?

1212.41 - 1229.541 Bryan Green

He's back five minutes later. So, Dad, what in the world did we just do? We didn't even go to the top of the building. What happened? He says, well, I'm auditioning for Disney's new version of Davy Crockett. Wow. My dad wasn't an actor. He wasn't good looking. He was just a guy. And he's like, oh, what the hell?

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1230.202 - 1235.634 Unknown

Why not? Why not? He responded to like a general call out, like a cattle call.

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1235.814 - 1248.737 Bryan Green

I don't even know how my dad is so far from an actor or a model or anything. I don't know. It was just this random occurrence in my life. I was just kind of piggybacking off of that story about 007.

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1248.817 - 1266.064 Unknown

Yeah, well, my dad, he had one line in Zulu, right? Oh, Zulu. Yeah, Zulu. It's Michael Caine, you know? Yes. And then he had a few lines in A Day of the Triffids, which most people don't know, but it's actually like a cult B-movie.

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1266.044 - 1293.621 Unknown

however the claim to fame of Day of the Triffids is in Danny Boyle's 28 Days Later the opening scene where he walks in London Killian Murphy walks in London and there's nobody there at the beginning of this zombie apocalypse it's actually a homage to Day of the Triffids so it is a film that did inspire some but my father played a blind pilot in Day of the Triffids and he was in a Blue Nun commercial which actually aired in the United States

1293.601 - 1304.593 Unknown

What's a blue? What's Blue Nun? Blue Nun is like a cheap wine. Oh, and he's having a picnic. And he says to his, you know, the woman in the commercial, he says, red or white, darling. And she says, blue.

1307.056 - 1316.487 Bryan Green

Did your dad when and I know your dad has passed. Did your dad when he was alive, did he support what you were doing? Did he did you feel like you got support from your dad?

1316.467 - 1341.36 Unknown

yeah yeah both my parents were actually very supportive of that my mother only cared that i got a degree that was like her thing and uh my dad always straight away i mean he he had a career in entertainment yeah so what my dad was james bond was all about was the sacrifice that he made because in my lifetime my father was in retail he was most of my my life uh he was the general manager of burberry on 57th street so he was just a retail guy

1341.34 - 1366.099 Unknown

But that was because he decided that the acting, modeling life wouldn't be a stable life for his kids. So my dad was near James Bond. It is a funny show, but it's really about the sacrifice that my father made for us. That's it. And he was very supportive. And actually, the hook of my dad was near James Bond at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2010 was at the end, actually, my dad used to come out.

Chapter 6: What are the themes in Des's special 'Of All People'?

1478.761 - 1481.764 Unknown

He went from London to New York and he never drove. He didn't need it.

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1481.784 - 1484.007 Bryan Green

He never drove. That's so interesting.

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1484.147 - 1494.9 Unknown

But the good news was he married my mother who was an absolute control freak, neurotically so. So she was quite happy that he didn't even have the ability to drive himself around. She could keep eyes on him.

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1495.16 - 1502.208 Bryan Green

Yeah, that's right. So your parents at one point weren't sober, they got sober, they got un-sober, and then sober again.

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1502.749 - 1506.273 Unknown

But I never saw them drinking. They were sober before I was born.

1506.293 - 1507.234 Krissy Hoadley

Except for the Blue Nun.

1507.455 - 1517.747 Unknown

Except for the Blue Nun. Yes, yes. Oh, and the Blood of Christ, obviously. Oh, yes, Blood of Christ. The two bits of alcohol that were allowed.

1517.767 - 1521.293 Bryan Green

That's right. Yeah. Alcoholics all over say, it's for the Lord.

1522.075 - 1537.785 Unknown

By the way, you were joking, but I don't know if it was before we started recording, but you were talking about being an Irish Catholic from Chicago. You know, I have a lot of Catholic material, but I don't really normally do it in the States, but I was in Chicago recently, and I did it, and my God. You killed? Very Catholic, Chicago.

Chapter 7: What humorous stories does Des share about his family?

1794.411 - 1797.536 Bryan Green

The rectory? The rectory. The rectumry? Yes, that's right.

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1801.522 - 1813.806 Bryan Green

So I have to, I'm dying to know this because I saw it in your special when it came out, which is available, by the way, on YouTube and absolutely brilliantly hilarious. The first 10 minutes knock me on my ass every time I watch it.

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1813.826 - 1814.047 Unknown

Oh, great.

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1814.067 - 1816.672 Bryan Green

Aggressively moderate. It's a great time to be away.

1816.692 - 1836.196 Unknown

Well, you know, it's funny. I nearly called the special aggressively moderate. You should. That would have been brilliant. Yeah. Actually, Hannah was thinking like, you don't want to, you know. Yeah, you don't want to turn anybody off. We called it Of All People. And the reason why it's called Of All People is because Hannah got invited to the MTV Music Awards and I accompanied her.

1836.396 - 1849.55 Unknown

And then we ended up in like the Irish tabloids with a picture of us together. And in one of the Irish like website, you know, gossip websites, the opening line of the article was, Des Bishop of all people showed up at the MTV Music Awards.

1849.991 - 1850.091

Yeah.

1850.071 - 1867.035 Unknown

So I was like, oh, I love that. Irish passive aggressive. That's the type of passive aggressive that I like. I actually found that entertaining. Yeah, that's pretty funny, actually. But then I was like, of all people, that is a great title. So actually, the title is kind of out of spite. It's a spiteful title.

Chapter 8: How does Des Bishop navigate the complexities of fame and audience expectations?

2062.308 - 2078.804 Bryan Green

I'll share with you something about having, you know, in Europe, I feel like this is far more common than it is here in the United States. You'll see silver-haired dads all around, young kids running around. It's pretty common to have children. In New York, too. Yeah, well, that's true. Here in Atlanta, you have them at 16, 17.

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2079.626 - 2094.771 Unknown

Yeah. You're 30. You're done with them. Yeah, but anybody I knew from back in the day, like, you know, because I'm in recovery myself for a long time. Like, a lot of the guys from, like, tougher backgrounds than me, they all come into the rooms like, oh, I'm trying to get my head together. I had a kid. And they were, like, 18, 19 years old. I was like, what are you, stupid?

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2094.791 - 2098.517 Unknown

But now I think they were smart. I'm the idiot. Yes, I am the idiot.

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2098.818 - 2119.593 Bryan Green

But I'm going to share with you that as – because I no longer drink or do drugs because I had children – I can never be hungover and wake up with children. Not at my advanced age. I'm lucky that I can get out of bed without breaking a hip. Here's the thing. When you have children at an older age, you have the advantage of hindsight.

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2119.713 - 2128.648 Bryan Green

You've seen so much stuff in your life that you are wiser, you are calmer, you are able to handle, you are able to know which hills to die on and which hills not to die on.

2128.668 - 2128.748 Unknown

Yes.

2128.728 - 2151.698 Bryan Green

fiery and fussy as you were when you were a kid and i'm telling you as an older father i think i enjoy the moments so much more than my friends who had children at 20 years old or 19 years old or 22 years old they would go out still growing up they're still growing up they're going out and partying and they're missing this thing and they're not doing that thing and it's not that the children you know the children ended up fine some of them some of them are

2151.678 - 2179.491 Unknown

custody i'm sure that's why i joke with hannah i'm like you know it's a 50 chance it's going to be a horrible kid you want to roll the dice yeah i have a friend i have a friend that has three boys same as my parents had three boys yeah three boys two of them are a disaster you know that's a bad that's a bad hit rate man that is a terrible hit rate but how old was he when he had the kids no he had he was normal actually yeah he was 30 or something old school old school like had him when he was in his 20s

2179.471 - 2193.674 Bryan Green

Yeah. Listen, I'm telling you, I don't think you'll regret it. You'll, you'll feel the aches and pains. You'll feel a little bit, you know, foggy sometimes from not sleeping. Once you get past the first year, you're going to be fine. You're going to love it. It's going to be incredible. I promise you guys don't.

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