Chapter 1: What annoying habits do people have regarding concern for others?
You know what's so damn annoying about some of you people? You care. There's nothing that drives me more crazy in this world. It's people that care. So many of you calling and texting and texting and calling and emailing, concerned for my well-being, I think, mainly. Because let's face it, if one of us is going to croak, it's going to be me.
Chris is going to live to 110, and I'm going to keel over eating cream and cereal next Sunday. Any potatoes? What was I talking about? Oh, yeah, you. You care. And so that means I have to do more work and come on here and explain to you that we're just on spring break. We may or may not have mentioned this was going to happen, but I promise you everything is fine.
Chrissy and I will be back on March 31st, streaming live on YouTube.com. the commercial break. So do yourself a favor, run over there, subscribe to the channel, make sure you got notifications on, and then you'll get notified when we go live, which is usually about 1 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.
Until then, I have randomly selected, and by randomly, I mean combed through literally hundreds of episodes to find ones I think you're going to enjoy. So here's another TCB spring break classic. If you're a regular listener of the show, it's a chance to almost laugh twice. And if you're a new listener to the show, well, what in the world are you thinking? Your mama taught you better.
We'll see you next week. Until then, let's start the show.
So you've loved, you lost, or had some along the way. Life gives you lots of lacks, but you're in your own way.
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Chapter 2: How did Bryan get in trouble with his dad over a phone bill?
You take the good and the bad. But you don't ever win That's because God hates you And you are full of sin So grab your good book and Raleigh the family. It's time for TCB TV. That's right, TTCB TV. We love our TCB TV. We love our TCB TV. We love our TCB TV. So you played by the rules. You did it all right. But you're still in the basement and alone all night. You paid your dues.
Chapter 3: What was the significance of 1-900 numbers in the 90s?
You've cleaned your room. But your mom still makes lunch and you sleep till noon. So grab your pants and take a seat. It's time for TCB TV. Oh, yeah. TCB TV. We love our TCB TV. We love RTCB TV.
We love RTCB TV.
We love RTCB TV. Turn on TCB TV. Gotta have TCB TV. We love our TCB TV. We love our TCB TV. We love our TCB TV. We love our TCB TV.
On this episode of the commercial break.
And when my dad got that phone bill a month later, he fucking flipped his shit. And all charging privileges on the phone were taken off. I couldn't call collect. I couldn't call 411, which I think you at some point became a charge service like 50 cents to call 411, which was the early search engine for telephone numbers and other information. It was literally called information.
That's what you would call. So all of that is blocked. All of it.
Okay.
So I got in trouble with that. That cured me quickly of wanting to call anybody and spend any money. I should have called the sex hotline is what I should have done. Yeah, I know.
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Chapter 4: How do kitchen gadgets relate to consumer behavior?
I'm surprised you didn't do that one.
I didn't. I was too afraid to do that because I think I knew that my dad got the bill and that I would be busted.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green, this is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. So much to talk about today.
We've got 3I, the comet that is, comet or question mark spaceship that is traveling around the solar system right now, hiding behind the sun. Yes. Doing things that no one else has seen a comet do. And now we're getting our first pictures, apparently. I'd like to... I have seen them all over the place, but I have yet to verify it from a reputable source. So there's a lot of pictures.
It looks strange to me. It's traveling at 137 miles per hour. 137 miles per second or something like that. It is big. It is weird. Yeah. and it will make its appearance on 11-11 of this year for 88 minutes. It will be able to be seen, and then it will be gone. No one knows. No one knows. Not even the people who study this stuff understand why it's acting the way it's acting.
And it's interstellar, meaning it came from somewhere in our galaxy, and now it's coming to our solar system, and then it's gone. It's hiding behind the sun. Its tail is facing the sun instead of away from the sun, which is not how a comet usually acts. Usually the tail is burning off in a different direction. I don't know. Spooky. Could this be it? I don't know.
If it is, let us all go down peacefully with love and joy.
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Chapter 5: What are the implications of the interstellar object 3I?
And Nikes. And Nikes. That's right. And nice shoes. May we all go down with nice shoes. Baby, get the kids some new shoes. Even though we can't afford it, buy them. Because you know what? 11-11. That's our day, kids. 11-11, too.
I know. That's pretty crazy. Well, that's funny because last night I was, you know, because of the meteor showers going on right now.
Yeah.
And I really wanted to see it, but I'm in the city, the light pollution. So I was outside looking for it last night. I was like, damn, there's too much light. So I pulled out my app, my night sky app, which I love that app.
I'm on it too.
And so I'm pointing it around the sky and I see the asteroids are shooting everywhere. And then I see the comet thing. And I was like, what is that?
Oh, you saw it?
That's wild. It popped up on the night sky app.
But it's behind the sun right now. I don't know. I don't think we can see it necessarily.
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Chapter 6: How do perceptions of extraterrestrial life influence our understanding?
Unbelievable. It's weird. It's wild. This is now the second time in a couple of years that this has happened. If you remember the Ulanga, Ulamamba, whatever it was, the Hawaiian thing that came by that looked like, you know, basically a big dick that was flying through the sky and people couldn't figure it out. And so...
Was that Bezos' starship?
I wouldn't put it past any of these guys to be flying shit around interstellar. I just don't know. And so, you know, I hate to speculate, but this hits close to home. And it's going to be close enough, closer than most, And, you know, there's 0% chance, according to people who study this stuff, 0% chance it's going to hit Earth, like a .0001% chance it could hit the moon.
But, I mean, there's either 0% or 100% chance, and they'll figure that out sometime around, you know, later on this month, which would give us 11 days to react to it.
If we didn't have the moon, we'd be screwed.
We would not be in a good position. It would change the tides. It would change a lot of stuff about the way that we live. If the moon was to be off course or even molested in any way, it would just change the things on Earth that we don't even understand, right? It would change all your periods. It would be different. All your moon cycles would be half moon cycles or something.
I don't know.
Who knows? You girls could turn into crazy werewolves and we'd just be left alone. To our own devices, here to raise our wild children. And then, of course, today as we're talking, as Chrissy and I are recording this, the 31 people busted in a huge NBA betting and poker scandal. That's insane. Although this is not the first time there's been a bet. People, you know, you have Pete Rose.
You have, there was a guy that was, I forget, back in the 80s or 90s, he was throwing college games and making big money off that because he owed some...
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Chapter 7: What role does government play in managing societal issues?
But you never know what's going through someone's head. And you never know why they need money. And you never know what they're willing to do for it. And sometimes from a place of desperation, you do stupid shit. So I don't want to cast judgment. Yeah, I know. We don't know all the details. We all do stupid shit. And may... The court system will figure it out.
You know, I feel great that our Kash Patel, our tiny little FBI director.
Yeah, that he's in charge.
Everything will be okay. He can't blink, but hopefully he can figure this out. What's wrong with his eyes? I mean, he's got a thyroid problem or something. Someone should check that out. I mean, he does not blink. His eyes are so buggy. What's his name?
RFK should check him out.
Oh, yeah, RFK. Yeah, that's the last guy you should be checking anybody out. That guy is a total fucking kook, man. Honestly. Okay. But anyway, all of that, all of that to be said. Chrissy has finally gotten around to listening to my new podcast. Yes, I have. Thank you very much for that. The After the Break is currently available on all your podcast players.
I secretly, quietly rolled out the first episode. You can go listen to it now.
It was a soft release.
It's called a soft launch. It means I don't like it. So maybe you should go listen to it.
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Chapter 8: How does the podcast conclude with thoughts on current events?
I'm not going to rehash my entire hour-and-a-half-long podcast, but it all started, this craze that's going on right now, started with the 1-900 numbers back in the 80s. when they became very popular and very lucrative businesses for landline-based telecommunication companies who would charge outrageous per-minute fees for you to call and talk to a supposed psychic. It was psychics and sex.
Those were the two things. Psychics and sex. You're right about that. Yeah. Psychics and sex. You were either calling a dating hotline, a porn hotline, a sex hotline, or you were calling a psychic. And for a minute there, for probably like a decade, it was really about the psychics. And Dionne Warwick was buddied up and she had a line that I don't think got in any trouble, but maybe it did.
But the Miss Cleo thing.
Oh, Miss Cleo. Yeah.
Yeah.
just ended in the early 2000s, really. Wow.
It lasted that long.
It lasted that long. And that was PRN, the Psychics Readers Network. And I was telling Chrissy, this led to an interesting conversation, but I was telling Chrissy that when I was a kid, I had my own phone line. So for our 15th birthday, I think, 14th or 15th birthday, we My dad installed a phone line for each of us. That's nice. They have cell phones, but they're very expensive.
They're car phones, clunky and big. My dad had one, but it's like a thousand. Speaking about permanent fees, it's like a thousand dollars a minute to call locally. It was insane dollars. And so my dad had it, but he was like, we only use this in emergency circumstances.
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