Chapter 1: What is the story behind the 'Kale Cult'?
Our story is the story of two guys who start at the bottom, with a lot of hard work, continue along the bottom, and finally end up at the bottom.
Oh yeah, that's an intriguing scenario. Yeah, it's a rags-to-rags story. Yeah, imagine it. Did you see the one about the guys who started at the bottom, stayed at the bottom, and at the end they were still at the bottom? Yes, that's our life. So inspirational. Who'd go and see that?
I think I'd see that. More realistic.
On this episode of the Commercial Break.
Don't run your life around kale.
Don't run your life around kale. I dated a girl who literally ran her life around kale. I was in a kale cult for three months. I was. I was like, kale. Does it have kale in it? Can I have eggs? Substitute the eggs with kale. I'd like some kale bacon. And I'll take some kale wheat toast. Do you have any kale hot sauce? No.
It's the only thing that works.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Oh, yeah, Kazakins. Welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green, and this is the titular trustee of The Commercial Break, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen.
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Chapter 2: How does surge pricing work at Wendy's?
Best to you, Brian.
And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Hi.
Hi.
I'm going insane in my head about a story that I've read that's kind of blowing up on the internet.
Insane in the membrane. Insane in the membrane.
Insane in the brain.
Insane in the brain.
Where did those guys go? Cypress Hill was so awesome.
I watched a documentary about them a little while back. They're still around.
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Chapter 3: What are the implications of dynamic pricing in fast food?
They're still doing their thing, yeah.
I saw an interview with 311. I was never the biggest 311.
I used to love some 311.
I loved a couple of their songs, but I wasn't into everything. But I had friends that were into anything.
I remember going to a couple other shows.
I don't even remember what the songs were. But I was watching an interview with 311 that made me think of Cypress Hill. Yeah. And I know they're not the same, but it's just like they were grouped in my mind into this same type of band where I liked a lot of Cypress Hill, but not everything Cypress Hill had to offer.
But when you were fucking high, there was nothing like some Cypress fucking Hill, Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, who, of course, you go back to the closet. Classics Pink Floyd and all that stuff. But if you listen to Cypress Hill while you're fucking just stoned, you know, where everything is slow and you're like, I hope I'm talking outside.
Do you ever been so stoned you just don't know if you're saying things outside your own body?
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Chapter 4: What are the latest developments in 'Love Is Blind'?
Ever been that stoned? I think a long time ago. It was a long time ago for me, too.
Or maybe it was just like three weeks ago. I had a total panic attack.
Yeah, when I was first starting to smoke weed, like in, you know, college.
Oh, God, that raggy-ass dirt weed that I was smoking. But you smoked enough of it. Like, if you were taking six-foot glass bong hits.
Yeah, I remember those bongs.
Yeah, the gladiator.
It's milky, bro. It's milky. Be careful.
It's milky.
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Chapter 5: How does the episode discuss the concept of obsession in relationships?
And then I would be like, I'd be saying words in my head, but then people would be looking at me like, what?
I have visions of doing that in people's first apartment, you know, with not great furniture, not great carpet. Like the old futon? Yes.
Yeah. Blood stains on the carpet.
Could be.
It smells like a yeast infection. I do remember. I do. You know, when the beer pong table was the only furniture in the place. Old raggedy ass TV and glass. But they had $500 glass bongs. Right. A collection of them.
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Chapter 6: What bizarre incident occurred involving the band La Llorona?
Yes, of course. So if you listen to some Cypress fucking hell while you are stoned, like milky, milky stoned, you just go into another place because they have those weird vocal overlays that make you just crazed. Yeah, they're serious.
Insane and the boys. They were serious about what they did.
They loved it. I like some Cypress. Yeah. Come on the show, boys. We'll talk to you about it. Anyway, watching an interview with 311. And man, does that guitar player, I don't know what his name is. He looks amazing.
perma-stoned do you know what i'm saying like he's got those huge bags under his eyes and that just might be the way that his face is and not make him fun of the way the guy looks i'm just saying he looks perma-stoned his eyes are barely open they're barely open and they were talking about the grateful dead and he had a guitar in his hand and there was two the singer and one of the guitarists was talking on to this interviewer stereo gum or something like that the
the singer is not as stoned probably he's trying to answer the questions and the guitar player is just like you know he's just noodling around yeah the entire time and i was like shut up shut up it's probably me at every party i ever went to but i only know two chords so there you go yeah um this story is making me instead speaking of stoned people this story is making me incensed i can't even believe it i don't know what we've come to at this in this country in this world
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Chapter 7: What are the hosts' thoughts on the portrayal of women in dating shows?
Oh, yeah. It's already the point of no return for me. I'm just like, I'm surprised by nothing.
I'm surprised by nothing. Surprised by nothing. Our institutions are not institutions anymore. It's just like, it's insane. But anyway, there's less gravity to this, but just equally as fucked up. That Wendy's is now charging. Did you hear about this?
Oh, I did see that. I want to make sure that it's... It's the digital boards, right?
Yes. Well... Listen to this.
Chapter 8: How do the hosts reflect on their personal experiences with relationships?
The pricing that's like, not surge pricing.
It's surge pricing. That's what it is. It's surge pricing. That's what they call it.
But they came out and they were like, no, we're not. Yeah. Oops.
Yeah.
Oops, I got out.
Wow. Bob and marketing really fucked up and we have fired. No, it's surge. Well, they call it whatever they call it, but it's surge pricing. Dynamic.
dynamic pricing yes please i hear the word dynamic used one more time in the incorrect way dynamic is like super fantastic you're like this is how you explain your newest girlfriend she's dynamic she's she's lovely and she's empathetic and she's warm and she's caring and she gives great head she's dynamic dynamic give me a blow job Okay, here it is. We'll read this from Fortune magazine.
Wendy's insists its trial with dynamic pricing is all about prices going down at times and has no plans for surge pricing like Uber or Lyft. If I ever heard a bullshit fucking corporate response to anything... I know.
I thought about this when I was reading the article and I was like, nobody's going to check them. No, if you're going to Wendy's... You're overcharging me. No, you're already in the line... You're hungry, and you chose Wendy's, which I don't do anymore. No, no, no, no. I won't do it anymore.
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