The Quantum Witch
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In a house fire, what item would 8% of Australians run back in to save first? 8% is low. I'd say 100% would run back in to save a child, but only 8% would run back in to save a red-headed child. Don't go, please, Luke. Luke, don't go. Red-headed children are actually immune to fire, so... On this episode of The Commercial Break. I dig my hole and I stick it toward the sun. And I say, rarp, rarp, magic fart. Make me a quantum computer. And whabam, now you can see tits on porn 3.5 times clearer. Look at those nipples. I suck up every Instagram post with a nipple on it. And all of a sudden, whoosh. That's quantum computing. That's quantum computing. That's right. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Oh, yeah, cats and kids, welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Greene. This is the co-host of this crystal meth-powered podcast, Kristen Joy. Totally best to you, Kristen.
Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe.
Quick, before I take apart the TV and put it back together.
Or get your eyebrows tattooed.
Ooh, eyebrows tattooed.
And the reason I say this is because Jeff and I have gotten into watching this show on... I think it's Netflix. Okay. It's Lockdown... Have you seen this? No. It's where they open up. They start reintroducing privileges to the prisoners. Oh. In an experiment. Oh. I think it's happening out in Arkansas or did happen. So anyways, we're about halfway through, but there's some of these prisoners or they have interesting looks. One of them, it's a man's prison. One of them has very tattooed eyebrows on it.
No, no. Hell no.
How did that happen? And Jeff said meth. And I said, is that what you do on meth?
Yeah. There's a lot of interesting things that I think you do on meth. One of them is orgies. I know that. I've been there. I've done that. You remember, I went to the chiropractor orgy where they were smoking crystal meth and doing crystal meth as if it was something you just do on a Tuesday afternoon. Like, hey, we're all going to get naked and whack each other off. Do you remember that?
Remember that story? I don't remember it, but I remember you telling the story.
Yeah, I went to a pool party and the pool party went back to an apartment. And then when we got to the apartment... Women started getting undressed, and then there was this weird smell, and then I just realized that everyone was just doing meth because then they offered meth to me. I said, thanks. I'll take a pass on that. I'm good. Yeah, I'm good. Some of the girls were pretty. There was like three or four women and two guys.
Chiropractors are hot.
Chiropractors are hot. They are. If you're hot, but you don't want to go through all the education of a doctor, just become a chiropractor. You can crack people's backs and smoke crystal meth, have an orgy. You have none of those people worried about what you're doing all the time with the regular medical science shit. But I do love – I do attend chiropractic care.
I do too and I love mine.
I do too. My chiropractor I'm 99% sure has nothing to do with crystal meth.
Yeah. No, I don't think mine does either.
No, but it was a wild day. It really was a wild day.
It sounds like it.
Yeah. I decided against getting involved in the orgy, but, you know, I could have just as easily.
Looking back on it, you might as well.
I think I probably should have. You know, these are opportunities that you miss and you look back on and you go, well, shit. I should have never left when I had those two models staying at the Olympics. I should have never left for beer because I never got back into the room. I never got back into the threesome after I left. Never got back in. They just took it the rest of the way. I probably should have had sex with the crowd. I could have declined the meth but stayed for the sex.
But maybe you needed the meth to get into the sex.
Well, I think some of the guys were looking at me a little weird, too. And I just decided, nah, not today. Someone's going to take my cherry. Let it not be today. If someone's going to take my anus cherry, let it not be under these circumstances.
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