The Scuzzy-Guy Special
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What was Bryan's experience at the massage parlor?
Macaroni? What the chicken strips? On this episode of The Commercial Break...
I don't know whether to feel offended. Like, it's my fault she had to wear gloves. Like, she assessed me at some point. Maybe that's what the light was about. Maybe it's a special light. In the lobby. Yeah, in the lobby. And they put glasses on and they can see the level of scuzz you have on you.
Maybe she had to work herself up.
Yes.
This light is revealing.
God damn. This guy has come in. Another fucking old white guy.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the beautiful co-host of the commercial break, Kristen Joy. Best to you, Kristen.
Best to you, Brian.
And best to you out there in the podcast universe.
Well, as we are recording this, it's official. The Taylor Swift Super Bowl is over. So we can all move on with our lives now.
Yep.
And there you go. That's all I got to say. Great game. Congratulations to Patrick Mahomes and the rest of the team.
Yeah. Overtime.
Only the second one. Taylor Swift's boyfriend. He did a good job also. Taylor Swift's boyfriend. Yeah. Wow. Only second time he's been into overtime. Seventh longest game in NFL history. I'm just repeating facts that I heard somebody else say. So if I'm wrong, fuck you. All right. Got it. And the dynasty well underway. I do have to say, while I'm not the biggest watcher of NFL football, I like college much better. I like college much more. What a game. Yeah, you can't argue. It was a good game. Yeah, it was a good game. It was fun to watch.
And I loved Usher. I have to say, I'm an Usher fan, and he brought the ATL contingent.
Yeah.
That's not Usher. But anyway, yeah, okay. It was a fine performance, and they automatically ranked it number seven out of the top 35 that AV Club did.
How did the Superbowl impact the episode's discussions?
And then I was rolling through them last night after the game, and I was like, oh, okay. I forgot that some of these people even played the Super Bowl. Like, why in the fuck did black-eyed peas play this fucking Super Bowl?
Yeah.
They were really big at one point.
I'm sorry, but I have to shout this out, and this is Brian's opinion, that she's a terrible singer. Fergie? Fergie. She's terrible live. I mean, maybe in the studio she's okay. And some people are like that, I guess. You get a little nerves or you're dancing around and it's hard to control your voice or whatever. But going back and that thing aged.
Plus in the studio you've got help. Yeah.
yes auto-tune that's right and uh i watched that performance and that that aged like cream in my cereal i mean honestly it was terrible slashes up there remember they did the whoa whoa whoa sweet child of mine i was like oh my god how fucking horrible can you be terrible and she's like grinding up against at uh at slash and i'm like oh just felt bad this is like pre guns and roses reunion tour it's like oh wait and then yeah and they named prince number one halftime show of all time and i you cannot argue you cannot argue that raining during when he's playing purple rain i know It was amazing. It was amazing.
I mean, he was just the greatest. I loved him so much.
I think the guy from, whoever was writing, maybe guy or girl who was writing the blurbs for A.V. Club was like, at his best, Prince was the best. Yes. And this is Prince at his best. Exactly. And I agree. It was like above and below. Yeah, if you don't get chills watching that performance. And it's at the fucking Super Bowl. You should not get chills at the Super Bowl halftime show. It's a gouty, you know, overblown, big pregnant fucking show. The show of all shows. But Usher did a good job, and he brought out a lot of superstars.
On another talk of the whole thing, I was not impressed with the commercials.
No, I didn't find any of them particularly interesting.
No, I mean, the one with Michael Cera I thought was pretty funny for the lotion CeraVe. But if that's the funniest one, I thought that's pretty bad.
You know, there are good years and bad years, and some people get really creative.
Tons of celebrities were in all of them.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What was Bryan's experience at the massage parlor?
0:00–2:04
2
How did the Superbowl impact the episode's discussions?
2:04–4:59
3
What unusual events occurred during Bryan's massage?
4:59–9:40
4
Why did Bryan find the massage experience uncomfortable?
9:40–12:34
5
What was the significance of the hot stones in the massage?
12:34–15:36
6
How did Bryan feel about the service he received?
15:36–18:07
7
What humorous comparisons did Bryan make about his massage?
18:07–20:30
8
What are the lessons learned from Bryan's massage experience?
20:30–1:00:58