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The Commercial Break

The Simon Cowell of Art

29 Aug 2024

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What insights are shared about the DNC event?

0.031 - 17.5 Unknown

it's 65 hot dogs you better win some money and i mean a pretty penny because if i'm shoving all them wieners down me like that i'm leaving here with something on this episode of the commercial break

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18.188 - 34.091 Brian Green

Send us some of your art. Send us some of your art. Let me determine whether or not you should get another dead-end job or try and make a living doing this. I'll give you my answer. I'm the Simon Cowell of painting. I don't know if you know that, but I am.

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35.313 - 39.96 Bryan Green

The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.

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45.104 - 48.589 Brian Green

Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green.

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Chapter 2: How has Starbucks changed its business strategy?

48.609 - 66.334 Brian Green

This is the agenda. My Ben, Chris and Joy. Only best to you, Chris. And best to you, Brian. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. Wow. What an exciting week last week of 3.30 in the morning speeches by Democrats. I know.

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66.354 - 67.936 Unknown

I stayed up way too late.

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Chapter 3: What nostalgic stories are shared about Jolt Cola?

67.956 - 71.941 Brian Green

Yeah, so did I. One night I just had to putt out. I'm like, I can't do it anymore.

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72.712 - 78.59 Brian Green

I got to give one thing to the RNC. You know, they got the older crowd. At least they get it done. They wrap it up by like 8.15.

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78.811 - 78.992 Unknown

Yeah.

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80.98 - 93.075 Brian Green

But I guess when you, you know, I don't know, because it's in Chicago, you know, it's an hour earlier there than it is here. And they're trying to get the West Coast and I get it. But wow, what a show, what a show the DNC put on.

93.095 - 96.559 Unknown

I mean, it was the best music, music I've seen in a while.

96.639 - 105.75 Brian Green

Yeah, I got to say, you know, we don't get political here, but I do have to say that someone posted like a comparison music at the RNC versus music at the DNC.

106.131 - 106.431 Unknown

Yeah.

106.411 - 112.88 Brian Green

No question. No question. The DNC had him beat. No question. I mean, what a ruckus event.

Chapter 4: What advice is given for picking up women?

114.642 - 115.303 Unknown

It was a party.

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115.483 - 135.81 Brian Green

Yeah, it made the RNC seem kind of sleepy. Like, you know, Trump had just had the terrible assassination attempt. And then, you know, you go into the RNC, there's a lot of energy for Trump and from his supporters. And I thought, in my opinion, I thought like the RNC should have put on something like the DNC did. And they would have really like, you know, gotten everybody all jacked up.

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135.79 - 156.995 Brian Green

But then they had some, like, cover band playing, you know. And Kid Rock. No control. Take me home. Oh, and Kid Rock. Yes. The American music legend, Kid Rock. I honestly can't stand that guy. I never have been able to stand him. But whatever. That's my own opinion. That's not... Whatever. Anyway, hey, Chrissy, you've been asking for it.

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Chapter 5: How can one navigate difficult family dynamics in relationships?

157.235 - 164.504 Brian Green

Now you're going to get it. Ask TCB, where the questions are probably a year and some change.

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164.524 - 166.126 Unknown

I know.

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166.146 - 179.803 Brian Green

I've been asking you for it. I know. I know. We've been putting this off for a long time, and I know that there's some people who, you know, they dutifully write in and they ask their questions, but there's a few things that I need to go through first. First, I need to make sure that it is, like...

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180.475 - 196.093 Brian Green

When someone writes in, sometimes they don't always write it in a way where it makes sense for air, and I do not want to put words in people's mouths. So first and foremost, I have to respond to them and then say, hey, can we doll this up a little bit so that it sounds good on air, right? I don't want to take your words.

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196.373 - 217.382 Brian Green

And then second of all, do I indeed have permission to use your name or any kind of facts that they might put in there? So it takes a little bit to kind of get that going. But even then, that could only take like a couple of weeks. We're like a year behind, so I apologize. I hope you're still listening out there. Probably not. Probably not. Probably not. But I thought we'd do an Ask TCB today.

Chapter 6: What humorous observations are made about Nextdoor posts?

217.442 - 233.928 Brian Green

I thought we'd do some next doors. I've been making screenshots of next doors that I see here and there, and I found that it was super important to tell you what's going on here just north of Atlanta, where everyone seems like they don't know how to use a computer or social media.

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234.931 - 257.474 Brian Green

Or a ladder. Or a ladder. That's true. Or a ladder. It is absolutely insane. But I will share a little story before we get to all that. I will share a little story. I decided today that I was going to take a walk up to my local coffee shop, which happens to be Starbucks. And I go to Starbucks. I like the coffee there, but I'm not particularly brand loyal. I could go to a regular.

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257.835 - 259.116 Unknown

You used to do Caribou.

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259.788 - 266.695 Brian Green

Loved Caribou. I loved it. And I don't know what happened. They shit the bed. It's like the Starbucks overlords just kind of took over.

Chapter 7: What are the hosts' thoughts on celebrating birthdays?

267.295 - 270.438 Brian Green

But Starbucks recently has not been doing so hot.

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270.458 - 270.859 Unknown

That's right.

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270.879 - 286.234 Brian Green

I read about that. Economically. And they've been closing a lot of stores. And there's one on every – there's two on every corner, actually, if you've noticed. They're all over the place. And they've been closing stores and sales have been down. And so they've really been trying to get people in by –

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286.214 - 312.998 Brian Green

jacking up uh the price thereby jacking down the prices and jacking up the amount of items that they in fact sell inside the store and i i never i never understand this kind of philosophy let's put more stuff on the menu like coffee is coffee and yeah there's a couple different variations but if you go to an italian if you go to a coffee shop in italy and you ask for a double mop a frap a crap a fucking yeah they're like they're gonna be like how about a coffee with some cream yeah

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312.978 - 332.947 Brian Green

And you're going to be like, that sounds good. And it's going to taste delicious, right? It's going to taste better than any coffee you ever had at Starbucks. Now, I like Starbucks, so I'm not knocking the place. But man, have they expanded their menu into some crazy shit. They've now got like, I don't know, energy. Remember those energy drinks at Starbucks? What's that sandwich shop?

332.967 - 333.388 Unknown

Panera.

333.408 - 335.05 Brian Green

Panera that was killing people?

Chapter 8: What final advice is offered for aspiring artists?

335.07 - 354.156 Brian Green

Yes, yes. And I, excuse me, for liability purposes, to make sure my attorneys and our agents, allegedly killing people because they were, had this energy drink that had like 380 milligrams of caffeine per serving. And a Starbucks cup of coffee has 280 milligrams and that'll get you pretty well jacked.

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354.136 - 374.17 Brian Green

up i mean that's a lot of fucking caffeine yeah and there were people who were just sitting there doing homework or whatever eating their sandwiches and they were going back for refills because the drink tasted good not realizing that they were in fact overdosing themselves on caffeine and a few people with heart problems unfortunately passed away so uh so panera took that off the menu they decided hey

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374.15 - 378.458 Unknown

Hey, or either they took it off the menu or... They jacked down. They revved down.

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378.518 - 398.304 Brian Green

They revved down. They said, we're just going to make like little tiny little cups and we'll give them to you so we can monitor how much we're actually giving to you rather than having the free-for-all over there. Now, when I was a kid, I think I told you this. There was something called Jolt Cola. Yeah. Do you remember Jolt Cola? Kind of. Jolt Cola, which I think is still around.

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398.324 - 423.173 Brian Green

I think you can buy it. Jolt Cola was a super energy drink, highly caffeinated before we really had highly caffeinated energy drinks. Some enterprising young startup soda company decided if we just put a lot of caffeine in something that kind of tastes like Coca-Cola that's been sitting out in the sun for too long. then kids will love it because they'll be able to get jacked up.

423.213 - 449.179 Brian Green

Kids and truckers and teenagers that want to stay up late. And it became a news item. So therefore, I watched the news as a young man and really wanted to buy this legal drug called Jolt's Cola. What would it do to me? How could I get it? So when I was a teenager, I worked at the McDonald's. And when I worked at the McDonald's, it was a 24-hour gas station down the street. So...

449.159 - 472.639 Brian Green

We would close up shop sometimes. Let's say we were closing on a Saturday night and then we had to open on a Sunday morning. There's not many hours in between there. You close at midnight. You get done cleaning at 1 or 1.30. Then you got to be back by 3.30 to open by 5, right? Right. So one time, a friend of mine and I decided we were going to walk to the gas station after we got done closing.

472.859 - 493.864 Brian Green

We were going to buy some Jolt Cola and some pure – what do they call those easy – what were those pills we used to take? No-dose. No-dose. No-dose, which is a caffeine pill. That's all it is. It's just pure caffeine in a pill, and you swallow it, and you're jacked for, I don't know, 15 or 20 minutes before you get a terrible headache and want to take a nap. Yeah.

493.844 - 513.472 Brian Green

So we decide we're going to buy a bottle of Jolt Cola and some No-Dos and take them. That's right. We're going to go to the Taco Bell, which is also open 24 hours, and they allow you to smoke inside. We're going to buy a taco. We're going to get jacked on caffeine, and we're just going to smoke until we're sick to our stomachs. I am telling you what.

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