Chapter 1: What unique way do Bryan and Krissy celebrate Earth Day?
This episode of the Commercial Break.
Beavers that can be destructive to human projects, right? Like my dad's boat dock.
Right, I was going to say, we're the ones that have kind of encroached on their homes. Yeah, somebody said it. Now for the beaver segment. Right, exactly.
There's no easy transition into the beaver segment. I just got to talk about it. But beavers are important. So we're asking you to take a moment and think about the beavers.
We're not paid by any beavers to make this statement, by the way. No, but I do have to say, I went up to the mountains last fall. And at night, the beavers were out there doing their thing, splashing around, making their little homes and stuff.
And I really enjoyed it. Chrissy loves the beavers.
I do.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green, this is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley.
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Chapter 2: How does Bryan describe his experience in New York City?
It's wild. It is a wild, insane show. And I found it, you know, like I find all these shows are just like popped up somewhere on deep in my search engine on Prime. And I was like, OK, let me watch that. And these two are just they're constantly smoking cigarettes and trying to assault each other. It's the funniest fucking show.
And she's always saying job with popping up stuff that you'd like to watch. Yes.
Yeah. It does. It knows my taste, which is the dumbest television shows you've ever seen. Give that to Brian.
Serve that to him.
Serve that to him. The shows nobody else watches. Apparently it was very popular in Ireland. Yeah. This show was very popular. It was a Channel 4 show where I first saw Dating Naked or whatever that show was.
In the nude. What was the name of that show?
I don't know, but that was wild.
That show is so crazy.
I think we almost sent Christina into court to sue us.
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Chapter 3: What humorous insights do they share about Irish TV comedies?
Bridget, yes. And Iman. Bridget and Iman is the name of the show. You can find it on Prime. It's got four seasons.
Four seasons says a lot.
It does say a lot.
Yeah.
Because if you get a British show or a show on one of those channels over there in the UK, and it lasts more than two seasons, you're really doing something really good because they have like a strict rule. Nothing after four seasons, unless it's like the most, at the absolutely best.
They do have shows that last like 12, 15, 20 seasons, but they're either those mega soap operas that have been going on for years. Like I forget what one of them is called, like, you know, the West Side or something like that. And it's been going on for years. It's a soap opera. That's what it is. Or... Perot. Perot, that's right. The shows that your dad watches.
The shows that your mom watches and claims she understands that she doesn't really understand. Bridgette Niemann, watch that show. I promise you, you're going to have to put subtitles on because that Irish accent is thick, but I promise you, you're going to go, what the fuck is going on in this show? And she's always saying...
Do you like my hair? It's choppy changey. And that's it. Choppy changey.
Yeah, choppy changey. So I'm spending time in New York and that's why the inconsistent choppy changey nature of the stream.
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Chapter 4: What are the controversies surrounding Coachella's corporate influence?
Yeah. And so the place where I'm working is in Soho, which is fancy. That's all you got to say. It is a premier address and a premier location. And it's right next to, you know, like the New York Fashion Institute, all this stuff. So it's just young, beautiful people running around and then Brian.
With tons of money.
Yeah, with tons of money. And then Brian. Well, I don't think they all have tons of money. I think they come to Soho for the day and then they leave at night. Do you know what I'm saying? Sure, sure. The best time in Soho, I've learned in my short time there, the best time in Soho is like 7.30 in the morning because there's very few people on the street. There's a crispness to the air.
It's beautiful. You can see it kind of unmolested from all of these human beings, this like sea of human beings that's constantly around you. It's very lovely, very lovely.
Spring in New York is beautiful.
Gorgeous. I love it. But it's a wild place. In the course of 48 hours, I saw the following. You ready for this? I mean, I see it. You see a lot of stuff in New York and some stuff you just have to turn your head and just go, I don't know what the fuck's going on there. But there's there's I'm standing on the street taking a phone call and they have bike lanes everywhere.
A lot of bikers, a lot of bikers in New York. I don't know how they do it. I don't know why they do it. Yeah, fast. And they have those city bikes, the rent-a-bikes, the city rent-a-bikes.
Yeah.
That every fucking moron and their mother is on. You know what I'm saying? They think, oh, I'll see the city by bike. Yeah, that's great. Except you have to see the city by bike and deal with New York drivers who don't care. They don't have any. There is no rules. It's like driving in Mexico City. There are no stop signs. There are no stoplights. There is no green, no yellow or no red.
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Chapter 5: How does the discussion shift to Jerry Falwell and his controversies?
Moron riding down the bike lane meets moron opening the door in a cab. And then you get into a cab in New York, they have videos playing, you know, in the back of the seat. And the video says, twist and turn to save a life. That's like a campaign. They keep running in these. I must have heard it 30 times in an hour to JFK. Right.
And it was showing you how to twist and turn and look before you open the door. Why? Because exactly why what I saw is some guy just went straight into the fucking door on a bike. And he I don't know because I didn't see it. But he was a good 15 feet from the door on the ground. He must have flown in the air. Yeah. So, you know, there's a bunch of people rush over. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure.
I called 911. Even the people at the dispatch have a New York attitude. Slow down. Slow down. I'm like, yeah, this guy just, you know, I'm trying to be as calm as I can, right? And I'm like, yeah, I'm here on this street and that street.
I'm sure your adrenaline's going. You just saw that happen. God.
Yeah. And I'm like, listen, he's bloody, but, you know, he's alert and awake. Slow down. Slow down. Let me get the information before you keep going. And I'm like, okay, asshole. I'm trying to tell you the guy's okay. You don't have to send a fucking coroner, okay? That's what I'm trying to get him. Right. But anyway, so one. Okay. 24 hours later. Or no, same day. Excuse me. Same day.
Later on that evening, I'm in a cab. I'm on my way to JFK. We're on whatever fucking turnpike is the seventh level of hell in New York at 530 at night. It took me two hours to get to the airport. Two fucking hours from Soho to JFK. By the way, that's like 17 miles. It's not on the other side of Earth. It's 17 miles. But the traffic is so bad.
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Chapter 6: What lessons can we learn from the beaver segment?
I could have walked there in less time. I was so frustrated. I almost missed my flight. Anyway.
The same flight that was delayed.
Yeah.
The same flight that was delayed for two hours. I was sitting on the tarmac.
God, that's the worst.
Next to a guy who was like this on the seat. Just sprawled out. There should be a fucking rule about sitting in the middle seat. I understand you're going to need your elbows there. I get it. When you're on the aisle, you can go like this. When you're on the window, you can go like this. But you don't put your hands like this.
No, you don't cross.
No, you don't cross the line of demarcation. He had his hand like on my thigh. And I'm like, dude. dude yeah honestly and he's like watching these weird like African preachers on his on his YouTube like I think the guy was from Africa real Africa and he was watching weird African preachers you know the kind that are like play the gay away you know yeah They lick the anus.
Oh, I know. Have you seen those guys? No, I haven't seen that. But it's funny to see what other people are watching on a plane. Yeah.
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Chapter 7: How do Bryan and Krissy view the role of beavers in the ecosystem?
You know, there's a fork in the road, right? And then the traffic safety people put a big metal thing there with these big water-filled canisters or foam-filled canisters in case you should hit it. Assuming that you hit it, it's a softer landing. Still not going to be pleasant, but it's a softer landing. At least you don't hit the concrete wall. I am sitting there...
listening to the twist and turn video and I am watching all the cars drive by wondering if I, why we're not on that side of the street. And I watch a old Ford Celica or something just to go directly in the middle. Just he, it was as if he was in a lane and he, he thought that was the lane. No pause, no pause whatsoever. He just ran right into the, that metal thing square in the middle of his car.
Airbag deploys. I watched the whole thing happen. The guy's in the air. His car is crumpled. His engine is crumpled. You can see his engine. His hood is way up. The windshield's crashed out. It's just a mess. And me and the taxi driver are like, oh, shit. The Uber driver is like, oh, shit. Hopefully that guy's okay. Oh, my God.
And as we're crawling up, because we're going inch by inch, as we're crawling up, we watch as the airbag deflates and the guy's got his window down. Airbag deflates and the guy's got this long, like, wavy hair. And he's, like, doing this with his hair. And he's waving out the window like this. What? Like, waving out the window like this.
Like, he's okay? I think, yeah.
I think, I'm okay, I'm okay. backs the car up what and drives back onto the highway it was wild me and this uber driver i'm pretty sure english wasn't his first language he was like russian or something we were just like wow wow yeah he goes and this is the only words that he said to me that i could understand the entire ride there wasn't a lot of talking he goes new york is wild
I was like, fucking A-right, dude. That is crazy. That guy just got into a major car accident. There's no way he walked away from that unscathed. He broke a leg or something, I'm sure of it. The metal thing went right into the engine of the car. I mean, you could see the fucking engine. And the hood was all the way up here. I can't believe he could drive.
He backed up and drove away.
Sure, why not? Don't call the ambulance or whatever. The problem is, I think the challenge is, you know, Atlanta is the weed capital of the world. I have been to so many states where weed is legal. Las Vegas, California, Colorado, you know, New Jersey. I've been to all of these states where all this shit is legal. Washington. Where weed is legal.
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Chapter 8: What final thoughts do they share about current events and their implications?
Yeah, exactly.
Run with it.
Yeah, why not? I'm not looking to argue with anybody about being in Soho. There are worse places to be in New York.
Oh, for sure.
You could be in the financial district where it's all kind of, you know.
yuppies and stuff like that at least i'm in like a bohemian yeah you are very rich bohemian bohemian chic yeah they have every fucking expensive piece of clothing in the world is sold within a mile of where i am those stores i was like you know i need a couple of shirts let me pop into this place and i forgot what it was i don't even know what it was Stussy or something like that.
Okay, yeah.
It was Stussy. And I go and I open the door and I walk in and there's a guy standing there with one of those earpieces, right? But they do that at the fucking American Eagle. It's not that big of a deal. And then there's a lady standing there with a clipboard. And so I walk in and she goes, name? And I go, oh, hi, I'm Brian. And she goes, and last name? And I go, green?
And she goes, not on the list. What? And she goes, did you stand in the line? And I go, no, I just walked in. And she goes, there's a line unless you have the invitation. And I was like, oh, OK. All right, cool. I like Stussy. I bought some of their clothing when I was a teenager. Right. I thought maybe I'd get a cool T-shirt or something like that.
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