Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
I have no secrets. I'm mad. I have to go to work. I have to earn a living. I'd rather have a private income and get laid. Well, in office. On this episode of the Commercial Break...
Not a great look for them to have all these videos all over the place of people crawling through the air conditioning vent.
Yeah, I mean, that's something you see on, like, you know, spy shows.
You see it on cartoons.
That's where you see it.
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Chapter 2: What recent celebrity deaths are discussed in the episode?
Or spy shows. Yes. You know, like Mission Impossible.
I know. Can you imagine taking a piss or, like, taking a piss and then some guy just falls out of the air conditioning vent? Hola!
Hola! Oh, my God. Go Colombia! Viva Colombia! Can you help me now?
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Hey, cats and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris Joy. Totally best to you, Chris.
Best to you, Brian.
And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. Breaking news as we come on air today. Dr. Ruth Westenheimer has died.
Quite a few people died over the weekend.
Yes. Shanna Doherty died.
Who else? Dr. Ruth.
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Chapter 3: How did the hosts react to the news about Dr. Ruth and Shannen Doherty?
I don't know. She was an old lady when I was a very young man. But I remember seeing her on certain talk shows and television shows. And she would be describing sex in great detail. And my mom loved it. She thought it was the greatest thing when Dr. Ruth came on.
She'd be like, kids, come in here. Dr. Ruth is on.
And you'd be like, oh, she's going to show us something.
Oh, yeah. She was very descriptive and like a clinical but funny way, too.
Because of her accent, her German or Austrian accent, whatever she was.
She would laugh and talk.
She would giggle it up and people would ask her silly questions.
Usually it was people that were calling in about questions. I think that's what it was.
The Dr. Ruth Show. Yes. Which, you know, she would do the talk show circuit like Oprah, Jenny Jones, Phil Donahue. You know, that's when I was like a kid kid, like 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 years old, whatever it was. And then she had her own show called The Dr. Ruth Show. Yes. And then she would get highly descriptive. But the thing was is that because of her disarming nature, she would be –
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Chapter 4: What is the significance of the assassination attempt mentioned?
The goalie has to stand on the goal line. And then... The shooter kicks and then you either get it or not. And here's the thing. Having played soccer most of my childhood until I was like 17 years old and being a goalie for a good portion of that because I wasn't good enough to be anywhere else.
They just figured, you know, just stand out there, put your hands, put your big, mocky hands up like this, Brian, and hopefully you'll catch something.
Yeah.
But the coach used to always say, you cannot think fast enough. Your brain cannot recognize where that ball is going fast enough. Pick a side and dive to it. Pick a side and dive to it. Doesn't matter. You're going to get it 50% of the time. The other 50% of the time is going to be wrong. Doesn't matter. It's basically chance.
It's all up to chance and whether or not the shooter has any accuracy into the goal. That's it. So winning on penalty kicks, in my opinion, is not really winning, even though technically it's winning. It's kind of a shitty way to win or lose or whatever it is. I kind of agree with that. Because it's kind of up to chance. It's like gambling, right? Sometimes you get it, sometimes you don't.
So Spain plays Sunday in the final, and I'm really, really hoping this doesn't go into penalty kicks.
Who were they playing?
They were playing England. Okay. So this is like a big deal, and it's in Germany. So it's England, Spain, in Germany.
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Chapter 5: How does the episode address the current state of political discourse?
packed house of course you can imagine imagine 50 spanish 50 english at least that's the way it looked like on tv what an exciting game yeah and soccer is also one of those sports that's like a lot of kicking the ball and people throwing themselves on the ground pretending they are hurt punctuated by a few seconds of awesomeness right right so you have to really wade through a lot of not it's like baseball it's like you there's i don't know
And three hours of nothing punctuated by a couple seconds of really exciting stuff happening. And so soccer is this way. You have to be a very patient watcher. And soccer fans are fucking bananas. Oh, yeah. It's so big. Yeah. It's like, you know, throw in. Wow. How do people go crazy, jump out of the stands? It's insane. So we had such a great time yesterday with the kids watching the game.
Spain won. We went nuts because that's our team. And we're like, oh, my God. You know, the WhatsApp group, 7,300 people deep, you know, going crazy. And it was awesome. And then it comes time for the Copa America, right? The America Cup final. And... Biden is going to speak at 8 o'clock. The game is supposed to start at 8 o'clock.
So what they say on the broadcasting station, which is Fox, we're going to start it on FS1, Fox Sports 1, and then we're going to move it over to Fox after the president speaks. We're going to carry the president's remarks. That's going to be like five minutes, and then we'll be back after some analysis, say whatever they say.
And so we're like, okay, so, you know, we watched the president do his thing. And then they come back on air and they're like, oh, the game has been moved to 830. Now 845. Now nine o'clock. Now 915. Now 930. Now 945. And you're like, why in the fuck is this? So as you're watching, the kids are trying to get to sleep. And so I'm not really paying attention.
I'm just thinking, oh, maybe they moved the time because President Biden spoke. I don't know. I have no idea. But then you start learning that what happened is, Hundreds, if not thousands and thousands of people without tickets bum-rushed the Hard Rock Stadium in Miami to get in. Now, this happened in England a couple years ago. Do you remember this? Do you remember this incident?
They made a whole documentary about it. It was fascinating. But apparently they handled it much better than the people here in the United States. Hard Rock Stadium down in Miami. You'd think that this isn't a small town. This is fucking Miami, right? You'd think they have this covered seven ways to Sunday. Also, Miami...
huge latin community you would think they have this covered seven ways to sunday like they're gonna you're not allowed to get into the parking lot unless you have tickets you're you know then there's a layer of security one and layer of security two and then you get to the door and then you have to show your ticket then you get up to your seats and you have to show the person where you're sitting that was not the case there were literally videos of people breaking the air conditioning vents underneath the hard rock and crawling through the air conditioning vents to get into the stadium without tickets
That is so nuts. It's insane. At some point, the police and security made a decision to just open up the gates.
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Chapter 6: What are the latest updates on the Euro Cup and Copa America?
I used to. I meant it when I said I do, and now I don't. I can picture it now. Can I change my vows?
Uh...
I'm so picturing this at the retirement home.
But I firmly believe that the age difference, you know, if you're talking about it, problematic. Problemo. If you're not talking about it, no problemo. Because age difference is a state of mind at the end of the day. But when there's 62 years to age difference, or however long it is, 50 years or something like that, that's a little bit different. It's got to be. I can't imagine.
And then, you know, you've got to... Parents, neighbors are seeing that Bill Belichick. Your parents are probably younger than the guy that you're dating. Now, that has got to be a little bit strange. That, in my opinion, has got to be a little bit strange. What kind of dinner is that? Oh, I watched you when I was a kid. I used to watch you coaching football. Thanks for screwing my daughter.
Oh, yeah. That's a – like you said, I think it's a relationship of mutual benefits that are happening. I don't see how you can get super, super deep and close.
Yeah. I could see how you could have like intimate moments, right? Like where you shared, you know, I don't know, desires and dreams.
Yeah.
I got to get more Depends. Yeah. I got to get more Depends. I got to register to vote for the first time. You know, there could be like things that could be going on. I can see like intimate moments. And who knows? We're not inside the room. But I agree with you. Like, you know, when she's – I imagine if she's like any other 23-year-old, like I want to go out and party.
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