How do you grieve a childhood you never had? If you grew up with childhood emotional neglect, you may have heard that grief is part of complex trauma recovery and still have no idea what you're supposed to be grieving, or what that grief is supposed to feel like.This episode is built around a listener's question. She grew up without much affection, remembers wanting it, and came to believe that needing it meant she wasn't growing up properly. Decades later, she's wondering whether she has anything to grieve, and whether feeling sad about it is selfish.We talk through how the grief of emotional neglect works when nothing specific "happened," why you often only recognize the loss through contrast, and why receiving care now can sometimes make you feel worse before it feels better.In this episode:Why the grief of childhood emotional neglect is hard to locate, and how a point of comparison can suddenly make it visibleWhat you're actually grieving when you never had the thingWhy grief can feel like self-pity, and what "my childhood was good overall" might be protecting you fromWhat this grief can look like, including anger, envy, numbness, disbelief, and trying harder with the parent you still haveWhy a partner's hug or a therapist's kindness can make your body brace, and how to read that responseMemory reconsolidation, and how receiving care now may update old emotional learningWhy you don't have to go looking for grief or perform it correctlyWhat grieving can look like in actual life, without turning it into a checklistWhether accepting a parent's limitations means giving up on the relationshipWhen grief gets too big, and what to bring to your therapistThis episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth! I’m so excited to have them supporting The Complex Trauma Podcast. Head to Cozy Earth and use code RECLAIM for 20% off your order.Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcswLearn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim TherapyThis podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

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