TDS Time Machine | Easter

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The Daily Show: Ears Edition 26 min 10 speakers 7 chapters transcribed
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What are the challenges of Passover competing with Easter?

Jon Stewart 0:23
Well, let's begin tonight with the weekend's festivities. A big weekend for what we call Judeo-Christians. Two major religious festivals at the same time, and President Obama celebrated both of them in what I believe is an attempt to convince people he isn't Muslim. Nice try. Nice try. Yesterday, of course, was Easter, which along with Good Friday commemorates the death and resurrection of Christ. And this morning, the White House celebrated in the manner prescribed by Scripture.

How does the White House Easter Egg Roll celebrate Easter?

In just about a half hour, they're going to start the 134th annual White House Easter Egg Roll. These are some of our friends here, the Power Rangers, the Chipmunks, the Wubba Wubbsy, Penguins. Cat in the Hat has been trying to get on camera the entire time that you were talking. Come on, Cat in the Hat. Here are the eggs. Eggs? The eggs are here. Right now, we got some Harlem Globetrotters.
Jon Stewart 1:13
It's a great holiday for people who gave up LSD for Lent. You see all them too, right? Actually, this scene is true to biblical scholarship. I remember these characters from The Last Supper. If I'm not mistaken, that was... One of you will betray me. Alvin! So, the White House pulls out all the stops for Easter. Passover's the same weekend?
Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection) 2:00
I'd like to wish a happy holiday to all those celebrating Passover. Led by Jewish members of my staff, we'll retell the story of the Exodus, listen to our youngest guests ask the four questions, and of course, look forward to a good bowl of matzo ball soup.

Why do Passover and Easter celebrations differ in visibility and appeal?

Jon Stewart 2:22
That's it? That's what Jews get? You get a huge shindig on the White House lawn for Easter with every children's character that has ever been invented, including this guy? Who the is this guy? Captain Planet? Oh, what's his super, he's Captain Planet. Hey, kids. My selling point for my people is we're gonna have soup? It's the Avengers versus the Jewish members of my staff. Hey kids, who wants to meet Debbie Wasserman Schultz? Where's everybody going? Look, and I get it. I don't want to say Seders are boring, but this isn't a photo we're showing, it's video. Allow me to get personal for just a moment. As a father of mixed-faith children who are exposed to both Christian and Jewish holidays, I can't help but feel that we Jews are getting our asses kicked out here.
Jon Stewart 3:35
In fact, you know what? Jews. Camera three. What are we doing? We've already conceded defeat in the Christmas v. Hanukkah kerfuffle, seeing that the Christians are celebrating the birth of their savior, and Hanukkah is acknowledging oil lasting longer than it would normally last. And to be honest with you, truth be told, there really is no gauge. I mean, how much oil was in there? It could have been eight days' worth of oil. We don't really know. I mean, it could have been a very reasonable amount of oil. It's not the point. It's not the point. The point is this. There's no contest there, Hanukkah, Christmas. No contest. But we can't afford to lose this one, too. The key is the children, people. That's what Christians have figured out. You get the children, you win.
Jon Stewart 4:30
Let's check out both sides' holiday pitch. Okay, kids, Easter weekend is an observation of Christ's crucifixion and resurrection. So, ba-bam! Ba-bam! A basket with candy. We got chocolate bunnies. We got candy eggs. We got chocolate bunnies who lay candy eggs filled with more chocolate. How are Christians the ones that came up with plastic grass, by the way? We're the ones with hay fever. But all right, it's cool, it's cool. Jews, what do we got? Well, we're celebrating our freedom from slavery. So, ba-bam! Let my people nosh! We could have gone with a freedom-themed festival, or instead we chose to focus on the slavery part of the dinner. Hey five-year-olds, basket filled with candy and jelly beans or horseradish still in root form?

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