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The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Hour 1: No, It's a Bird (feat. Ron Magill)

20 Nov 2025

Transcription

Chapter 1: How does fantasy football stress affect players?

0.672 - 27.343 Amin Elhassan

Coming off a losing fantasy week, that means you're one week closer to losing your league. That's stressful, which can lead to nighttime teeth grinding. Dentek wants to prevent teeth grinding and has raised the fantasy stakes with a once-in-a-lifetime punishment. Keep an eye out for the ultimate fantasy football punishment reveal at the NFL Pro Bowl. or on Dentek.com slash ultimate punishment.

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27.624 - 36.67 Amin Elhassan

If you're still feeling fantasy stress, try a Dentek nighttime dental guard to protect your teeth. Available at all major retailers.

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38.472 - 45.342 Chris Cody

All right, kicking things off with Smirnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world. Chris Cody, you're here. Smirnoff!

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Chapter 2: What is the ultimate fantasy football punishment reveal?

45.502 - 60.683 Chris Cody

Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff. Smirnoff! Chris, you know what goes great with Smirnoff? Smirnoff! Yes, but I'm really talking about the game day fit. The style's got to match the vibe. Smirnoff! All right, here's the deal. Game day is everything. And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion. Smirnoff!

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60.663 - 72.296 Chris Cody

Starting this December, Smirnoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smirnoff commission merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin Matthew, and Alaylee May.

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72.737 - 85.352 Chris Cody

Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize, a trip to the biggest game of the offseason. Plus, one fan will win Alaylee May's one-of-one game day jacket. Wow. The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January 21, and it's all courtesy of what brand?

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85.512 - 85.692

Smirnoff!

86.228 - 105.195 Chris Cody

That's right, Chris. Fans 21 and over can head to Smirnoff Socials to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smirnoff vodka, number 21, at your local retail. Smirnoff. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff. Number 21 vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking age. Smirnoff.

105.215 - 114.868 Chris Cody

No purchase necessary. Must be legal. U.S. resident, 21 or older. Sweepstake starts 12-15-2025 at 12 a.m. Eastern and ends 1-23-2026 at 11-59-59 p.m. Eastern. See official rules at program website.

115.726 - 123.8 Mike Ryan

Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right? Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is won when it hasn't hit triple zero.

124.641 - 131.192 Stugatz

Always drink your JƤgermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else.

Chapter 3: What are the highlights from Ron McGill's recent trip?

140.808 - 150.322 Stugatz

Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jagermeister, must be drank ice cold. Or don't drink it at all. Damn, that's cold.

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150.342 - 159.856 Mike Ryan

Exactly. You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly. Jagermeister liqueur, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by Mass Jagermeister U.S., White Plains, New York.

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161.018 - 165.004 Unknown

This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz Podcast.

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168.967 - 187.06 Mike Ryan

Miami does care, even if we do not always act like it. So until midnight tonight, we'd like you to be a part of what it is that we're doing. I know a lot of you don't listen to the show live. You listen to it later in the day. So we have until midnight tonight to raise money for GiveMiamiDay.org.

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187.04 - 209.571 Mike Ryan

I know Ron McGill will tell you that there are a lot of extraordinary people in our community who do do a lot of community minded things to help. But rare among them over many decades is Dave Lawrence, the publisher, the former publisher of the Miami Herald. And what he does on this day for Miami is extraordinary. It is exhaustive and it is not easy to raise funds.

209.551 - 231.238 Mike Ryan

You know, 40 million dollars from over 50,000 donors for things that people often don't care about, whether it's the arts or museums or an autism theater project or, you know, the Philip and Patricia Frost Museum of Science. There are any number of things in South Florida worth donating to. And one of them.

231.218 - 257.074 Mike Ryan

is Zoo Miami's Ron McGill's endowment, his substantive endowment that you guys, our listeners, have given more money to than anything. I don't know, actually, Ron, if you're involved with GiveMiamiDay.org. Are you? You know Dave Lawrence, right? I know Dave Lawrence. I've already donated to Dave in his honor. Rita and I have both done that. And listen, guys, like I've always told people,

257.881 - 278.32 Mike Ryan

I love what I do, what I do with the animals, and the endowment is very important. But there's no single animal life that's more important than a human life. And, you know, human aid needs to always take priority. And in this time and age, there's so many people that need help. So though I appreciate if you have anything extra, you can go to the Zoo Miami Foundation and donate for that. But

278.3 - 299.463 Mike Ryan

You know, if you've got to set a priority, make sure you're doing things like for people like David Lawrence who are really helping the core of our community. And at the end of the day, by him doing what he does, those kids, those families can hopefully grow up to be conservation warriors themselves. GiveMiamiDay.org is where you go. Where you been, Ron? We have missed you. I appreciate it.

Chapter 4: How do birds of prey interact with pets?

365.26 - 380.91 Mike Ryan

This is the last time you're on the payroll for a trip because the next time we go, I know they're going to want to bring their significant others and stuff. And I said, I'm not paying for that. I'm not paying for that. I wanted one last trip and appreciate it with just the four of us. I think sometimes we don't do that enough. And we have always traveled together, the four of us.

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380.95 - 398.976 Mike Ryan

But like I said, you know, one lives in California now. One is working here doing a bunch of different things. And they're all out of the house. They've been out of the house for years now. And I just my wife and I just wanted one. Listen, I cannot overstate how nice it is to have breakfast, lunch and dinner with just the four of us every day for two weeks.

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399.698 - 402.263 Unknown

Ron, can you believe that Zazz has never seen March of the Penguins?

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402.603 - 411.659 Amin Elhassan

What? Okay, that's not true. What rock are you living under, brother? Oh, my God. Ron, he's totally making that up. He never asked me, and I happen to have seen March of the Penguins.

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411.679 - 415.446 Unknown

Oh, okay. I don't believe him on this one. He's seen Happy Feet, and he thinks that's March of the Penguins.

417.113 - 420.06 Mike Ryan

Okay, who narrates March of the Penguins, Zazz?

420.08 - 421.222 Amin Elhassan

A young and a pack one.

421.242 - 438.159 Mike Ryan

Oh, no. No, absolutely not. It's Morgan Freeman. You're a liar. You didn't see the movie. Oh, no. You didn't know the answer to that question. Oh, my God. He's being revealed as a fraud, a movie fraud here in front of us all. He's a movie fraud right there. Give MiamiDay.org. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show.

438.279 - 461.115 Mike Ryan

If you don't know that Morgan Freeman narrated March of the Penguins, are you a movie fraud? Yes or no? And also at Levitard Show, if you haven't seen Dodgeball, should all your movie opinions be disqualified? Ron, a week ago, a bird of prey landed in my backyard, and I did some Googling. I'm pretty sure it was a red-tailed hawk.

Chapter 5: What should you know about GiveMiamiDay.org?

526.603 - 529.268 Amin Elhassan

Of course I've seen that. What's the matter with you?

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529.288 - 549.169 Mike Ryan

Look at that. His credentials are getting stronger. And so that's scent based. How rare is it, Ron? The bird did poop. Yeah, I was going to say, so the bird poops and now the dog knows to be afraid of the area because the poop, the scent tells the dog that it's a meatloaf in the wild. No, I don't think it's as much that.

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549.23 - 571.534 Mike Ryan

I think it was probably much more either visual or audio because the hawks will constantly call and animals pick that call up all the time. Not to mention the visual. Remember, your dog has much better sight than you do. And they're noticing any kind of movement, any kind of different kind of thing in the yard. That's how they survive. So that's probably what it was. But it's a threat.

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571.895 - 594.897 Mike Ryan

It's a threat. And the dog's a coward. That particular dog, yeah, it's not the most aggressive fighter of dogs. Let's leave it that way. It's a very thin, very agile, fast-running dog, but not necessarily a fighter. Run because it's afraid because it's a coward. Are we just trying to label Mike's dog as a coward? That's exactly what they're doing. You did it. I mean, you set the table for that.

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594.937 - 612.79 Mike Ryan

What I said was that that dog is not bred to fight. That dog is not bred to hunt as much as it is to run. From things because it's a coward. Okay. All right. Stop. It's very rude. She's very old. Listen, I tip my hat to you for raising her. You did not tip your hat.

613.011 - 624.789 Unknown

Didn't even try. Ron, there's a house in my neighborhood that when the birds come home to roost, they all sit on top of just that house. Why? It's a bad sign.

627.272 - 645.433 Mike Ryan

Listen, that's pure speculation. I couldn't tell you exactly why that is other than Is somebody putting bird feed out? Is somebody putting out seed? Is that house next to a fruit tree or something that provides any kind of source? Does it provide shade? Does it provide shade, for instance, when the sun is setting? Does that tree provide a block from that sun setting?

646.013 - 654.683 Mike Ryan

Or is it the other way around as the winter comes around? Is it a metal roof that can radiate heat that the birds enjoy? There's so many different reasons.

654.663 - 670.6 Unknown

It's like a planned community. So the roofs are all the same. All of them have fruit trees and stuff like that, but they always sit just at this one house. And I don't see them feeding. I don't see them swarming. They're just there chilling at the end of the day, just all sitting together.

Chapter 6: What are the implications of the College Football Playoff committee's decisions?

681.871 - 700.262 Mike Ryan

That looks like it's no different than any other tree, but every night they come back to that same tree. And I don't know why that is. You know, is it more protected from predation? Does it provide them with some kind of shade or barrier from wind or whatever? There's so many things, so many variables that would be pure speculation. But there's something about it.

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700.242 - 706.291 Mike Ryan

When we talk – the weather in South Florida is ridiculous. I've been talking to some of my friends who are in rain and snow.

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706.311 - 706.911 Unknown

Your weather friends?

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707.092 - 733.169 Mike Ryan

Shoveling snow, yes. Some friends from New York who are – yes, my weather friends. And what South Florida has right now in terms of weather is completely absurd. It's beautiful and – It's why so many people are here. When a bird of prey is flying through here this time of year, how rare is it for it to grab a pet, a cat, a small dog? Small fart? A pet?

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734.572 - 734.652 Unknown

Oh.

736.214 - 736.294 Mike Ryan

Oh.

736.314 - 746.109 Unknown

Let's go. Good job. Good job. Yeah. All right. Yeah. All right.

746.129 - 746.229

Yeah.

746.249 - 746.449 Unknown

All right.

Chapter 7: How does Miami's football team stand in the current rankings?

898.161 - 916.696 Mike Ryan

Take the guesswork out of buying NFL tickets with GameTime. Download the GameTime app, create an account, and use code DAN for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply again. Create an account and redeem code DAN for $20 off. Swipe, tap, ticket, go. Download the GameTime app today. Don Levitard.

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916.836 - 922.145 Dan Le Batard

The elephant went into a 7-Eleven and bought a pack of cigarettes. But my question to Ron is this.

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922.405 - 927.593 Mike Ryan

Stugatz. That joke didn't really land the way you wanted it to, did it? We all just stared at you.

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927.613 - 936.327 Unknown

It didn't land at all. This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stugatz.

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940.154 - 963.816 Mike Ryan

Can you answer my question, please, Ron? It's very rare that a bird of prey will go after a small pet. Extremely rare. Now, if you have one of these, you know, ridiculous like teacup Yorkies or something like that, a little miniature Chihuahua or something like that. Yeah, a great horned owl, you know. A cat, a cat. No, no, I just don't see a bird of prey, you know.

964.302 - 987.171 Mike Ryan

Short of an eagle going after a cat, at least an adult cat. You know, kittens, sure. Kittens could be subject to almost any bird of prey of medium size. But generally speaking, no, your pets, unless like, say, the string designer teacup breeds that could easily substitute for a rat, then you've got a problem. You know, anything from a rabbit size on down, absolutely, there's a certain risk there.

987.151 - 1005.648 Mike Ryan

Let me get to some video here. You are not an insect or bug expert, but you're always talking to us about how animals have an incredible strength. Now, I don't think this is AI, but this video here of a bug holding on to the side of an airplane, successfully holding on to the side of an airplane, is that real?

1005.728 - 1027.432 Mike Ryan

What is happening there with the physics of that as the speed of that should, those arms should not be strong enough to be Tom Cruise in the Mission Impossible movies. What's happening here? Well, they can be strong enough to do that. You know, they have very fine little hooks, so to speak, on the ends of their feet, their legs.

1027.993 - 1045.096 Mike Ryan

And though you don't notice it because it's so minute, glass does have a lot of little fissures in it that they're able to grasp onto that way. So that's not, I believe that's probably true. And I think eventually that thing just blew off. But it is pretty spectacular to watch it there. It did blow off. And did it blow off to its death?

Chapter 8: What insights can we gain from the discussion about NBA players?

1093.312 - 1104.947 Mike Ryan

You can kind of see the wings kind of flapping a little bit in the wind there. Bird. There are insects that don't have wings. Listen, I don't do this. I'm going to defend Dan here. There are insects that don't have wings.

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1104.967 - 1124.234 Mike Ryan

Having said that, had it fallen off of the plane because of the size of the insect and basically the resistance it would have in the wind and having an ectoskeleton, it would likely still survive a fall. That's right. It's like dropping an ant from the Empire State Building. The ant just lands like Captain America would. That's a bird.

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1124.254 - 1126.677 Amin Elhassan

I think that's a toucan.

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1126.657 - 1132.744 Mike Ryan

Yeah, okay, you also thought that What's-Her-Name narrated March of the Patriots? Yeah, he did. You ever seen Two for the Money?

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1132.845 - 1137.43 Amin Elhassan

You have lost all credibility, brother. I want you to be John Anthony!

1138.832 - 1148.404 Mike Ryan

I'm missing a lot of the inside jokes here. No, his credibility is getting stronger now when he's answering some of Amin's supposedly difficult quiz questions. They're not difficult. With impersonations.

1148.504 - 1154.571 Unknown

They're not difficult. I'm just throwing those softballs that this loser, this sucker is swinging and missing on.

1154.551 - 1168.724 Mike Ryan

Hey, guys, before we go any further, I want to let you know we finally got our two new lions in. So if anybody's down in Miami who want to come to the zoo, our two boys are back out. The boys are back in town. So lions are back at Zoo Miami. Royalty has returned. That's awesome. That's awesome.

1168.764 - 1172.628 Unknown

Zazz, you ever seen The Ghost in the Darkness? Oh, that was a good one. Yeah, I know.

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