The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: The House I Could Have Built If They Let Me (feat. Tony Calatayud)
20 Oct 2025
Chapter 1: What fantasy football stress is discussed at the start of the episode?
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All right, kicking things off with Smirnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world. Chris Cody, you're here. Smirnoff! Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff. Smirnoff! Chris, you know what goes great with Smirnoff? Smirnoff! Yes, but I'm really talking about the game day fit. The style's got to match the vibe. Smirnoff! All right, here's the deal.
Game day is everything. And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion. Smirnoff! Starting this December, Smirnoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smirnoff commission merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin Matthew, and Alaylee May.
Smirnoff!
Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize, a trip to the biggest game of the offseason. Plus, one fan will win Alaylee May's one-of-one game day jacket. Wow. The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January 21, and it's all courtesy of what brand?
Smirnoff!
That's right, Chris. Fans 21 and over can head to Smirnoff Socials to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smirnoff vodka, number 21, at your local retail. Smirnoff. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff. Number 21 vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking age. Smirnoff.
No purchase necessary.
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Chapter 2: What is the significance of Tony's top five observations from the NFL weekend?
Must be legal. U.S. resident, 21 or older. Sweepstake starts 12-15-2025 at 12 a.m. Eastern and ends 1-23-2026 at 11-59-59 p.m. Eastern. See official rules at program website. Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right? Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is won when it hasn't hit triple zero. Always drink your JƤgermeister ice cold. That's the rule.
Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day? Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth? Obviously smart, but not a rule. Never pee-pee on an electric fence.
Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jagermeister, must be drank ice cold.
Or don't drink it at all. Damn, that's cold. Exactly. You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly. Jagermeister liqueur, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by Mass Jagermeister U.S., White Plains, New York.
This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz Podcast.
No matter what is happening around the Miami Dolphins season, this show will still party around Dolphins football. We will create a fun and happy atmosphere at the gates of hell as the apocalypse engulfs the football team by getting an entire block and sectioning it off, wearing costumes, my kink, I can finally admit it, Right around Halloween, we're going to do this watch party.
We don't do a lot of this. Greg Cody, are you coming? Are you coming to the Kendall watch party? Are you holding out? Is there an appearance fee involved?
No, I would do it for free if I do end up going, but I am scheduled to be at that game. But my knee situation complicates it. That's right around the time of my surgery. I'm going to try to actually make that event if I can.
It's a Miller Lite watch party, October 30th. It's a week from this upcoming Thursday at the Flanagan's in Kendall, Southwest 88th Street and Kendall Drive. $1,500 costume contest. The whole crew will be out there. Come check it out.
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Chapter 3: How did the hosts react to Tony's story about his FIU career?
Classic poor coaching decision by Mario Cristobal. Was Cristobal your coach when you walked on? No, Dan, it was not Mario Cristobal. So I would have walked on around 2013, 14. I think that's when they were in kind of flux. Cristobal had just left and before Butch Davis, I want to say. So it was kind of somewhere in between. Was it Lon Kruger? Was it Isaiah Thomas? Might have been Ron Turner.
I think I made him an NBA coach. Ron Turner. Coaching like Oklahoma.
Yeah, Ron Kruger, I don't think it was. But I think it was Ron Turner. But yeah, Dan, I did say it because I have to test the mic when I go to things.
i get ron and lawns confused all the time i'm sorry tony i missed that i didn't understand why he was employing the illinois basketball coach at fiu but this isn't we hired an illinois football coach fiu basketball and football are a bit of a way station here for minor league football under the university of miami and tony tried out without a football with an air football and he could have built that is that pitbull stadium
Dan, I am right now in the Pitbull Stadium, in the bowels of Pitbull Stadium, walking into one of the tunnels here. And if you can see right over my left shoulder right here, that's actually where I was when I was trying out. So about midfield, maybe the 45-yard line, they had a fake under center like this. And I was ready to call my plays, and I was ready to call my stuff. Three-step drop.
Okay, boom. We're throwing. All right, give me a five-stepper. Okay. One, two, three, four, five. Bounce, bounce. Throw.
But, Tony, do you know why they ā did they not have enough footballs? Like how many guys were out there, and why wouldn't they just have brought out like a dozen footballs that everyone could have reused?
Yeah.
Yeah, or at least a nurse ball.
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Chapter 4: What insights are shared about the Miami Dolphins season?
Let's start with the first OLI, Tony's top five observations from the NFL weekend.
We'll bang out through the OLI really quick. Michael McCorkle Jones keeps getting it done, Dano. Thank you. I was waiting for that. Appreciate it. That's Mac Jones' full name. Second OLI, Braves revenge game. Yeah, Michael McCorkle Jones. McCorkle.
McCorkle. McCorkle.
I'm going to ask this one to the class. Ask Trey McBride who he'd rather have at QB. Did you guys see the stats with him and Kyler Murray versus him and Jacoby Brissett? Do you guys know that stat or no?
Brissett targets him so much.
And throws touchdowns to him. Imagine that. You have a really good tight end. Kyler Murray's like, you know what? I'd rather not throw touchdowns to him. I'd rather throw touchdowns to Michael Wilson. But Jacoby Brissett's like, man, this guy's really good. Let me throw him the ball in the end zone, which is usually a good thing when you have a guy who's 6'5 and runs a 4'6. But alas.
All right, second last OLI. Jags, just when I think I'm in, they push me back out. They're not serious people. Dan, do you want to say the text that you told me on? You texted me privately when that game started? Yeah, sure.
I just said I have just bet the Jags, and I know I'm going to regret it. Like, I know the game had not started. Instantaneously down 21-0. No, because I believe in them athletically, but they're not serious people. What do you mean by that?
Insane, Dan.
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Chapter 5: What are the latest developments in the NFL discussed in this episode?
Oh, shit, here come the Chiefs. Dan, I think we were wrong. So wrong. Wow. Rasheed Rakes makes a big difference.
Yeah, he's good. Pretty good. Yeah, and that precision thing where you can throw it to one guy seven times and every time it's going to be open. Yeah, it makes everybody a little bit better. Yeah. Yeah. All right, we'll get into the top five now. Except Baker. Number five. Baker doesn't need anybody. Baker doesn't need precision with anybody.
Get somebody off the couch, you'll catch a touchdown with Baker. Only if we could teach that to Trevor Lawrence, who is still, again, throwing touchdowns to nobody, but throwing the ball to Parker Washington, of all people. Anyways, we'll get off to number five here. The Eagles are going to be all right. The Eagles are going to be all right, Dan. Remember I said that.
Jalen Hurts had the best game. Still too good of a team on both sides. Jalen Hurts had the best game non-Drake May division that was had by any quarterback in the league yesterday. And is it not funny to you guys the way these guys now treat fourth downs? God almighty, they've gone in the other direction.
Now these guys are throwing deep on fourth and one all over the place because it's a calculated advantage because everybody's selling out to stop the yard. It's crazy.
Dan, I will say this, though. Brian Flores, for as much flack as we gave him here in Miami, has figured out the tush push. I don't know if you guys have talked about it yet.
He has.
I was getting here to the field. Okay. You line up a guy just on the floor, just in front of the line of scrimmage. Don't let him be on a three-point stance or five-point. Just lay him down horizontally on the floor so the guys can't get underneath him. It's probably the greatest way to stop the tush push. I wonder if people are going to use that going forward against Philly or not.
I think the next movie, you stack defensive tackles on top of each other. Lying on top of each other.
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Chapter 6: How does Tony explain the importance of precision in football?
Bo Nix, 33 points, two rushing touchdowns, two passing touchdowns in the fourth quarter. The Jackson dart interception was an absolute backbreaker. And then the Giants kicker missed the extra point. I could have kicked the extra point with a bad leg and made it, maybe. No, no, no.
How's that lawsuit going, by the way?
I would have pushed it wide right. I'm actually in talks with with your wife to see what's going on here good to figure out how I can sue the company You need your support.
I might make an appearance over there Yeah, a lot of a lot of a lot of people won't touch this case Daniel because of your name around the city But I finally found an attorney who I think knows you enough to make something happen. So I'm very excited I need your support exactly, right? Number two Going to continue to beat the drum on this, but the Colts are the most complete team in football.
So that's an interesting thing that happened, huh? Like, it can't even be denied right now. In terms of efficiencies marching down the field, they'll put 38 on anybody in a way that's a bit different than the way Kansas City does it, right? Because they're still using the great running back. Nobody needs one of those anymore, but they've got one that's better than all the rest.
And Tyler Warren, who's a really good rookie tight end. Michael Pittman, the ghost of Michael Pittman, all of a sudden catching balls all over the field. They've got 19 guys that can just go out and get a 55-yard bomb. The Colts are exciting. And defense, Luana Rumo's got the defense playing really well, Dano. They are the most efficient offense this century when it comes to points per drive.
I saw that. No, but beyond that, I remind you that a couple of weeks ago, Zaslow over here was telling us Harbaugh's the greatest coach there's ever been because the Chargers had two good games of defense. All right. No, but the Colts can do that against anybody.
He was right back then. I was talking about what they were at that moment.
Can't be late with an opinion, Dan.
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Chapter 7: What is the impact of coaching decisions on player performance?
That's right. A Mahone.
Just one singular.
Set apart from the others. One lonely turd.
Patrick Mahone.
That was a good one.
Dude, Greg's on his game today. Unleashed. Dan, what does the T in Tua stand for? Oh, for the love of God, Tony. Tremenda mieta.
Tremenda mieta.
Tremenda mieta, Dan. A tremendous turd. That's right.
A collection of tremendous turds, Dano. A collection of tremendous turds is correct.
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Chapter 8: What unique travel story does the guest share about flying to South Bend?
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The holiday is all about spending time with friends and family. Why don't you sit back and toast a few Miller Lites? Make your holiday time tis Miller time. And with the 50th anniversary of Miller Lite, you get to remember and reflect on all the good times that you had with your trusty buddy by your side, Miller Lite.
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Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Tis Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
Don Levitard. I want to address Tony and all men who would wear that shirt in public.
Stugatz. Don't do it. This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stugatz.
I did want to talk for a second because I've rambled on this. I'm being told Tony has one more thing.
Really quick, really quick. Dan, tomorrow behind me, Vice City situation at FIU Stadium. The FIU Panthers, Paul's up, are playing Kennesaw State right here, 7 p.m. at Pitbull Field. They may invite me to be on the field here. I don't know. That's what I've been heard from my boy, Darren, who's letting me know, giving me a thumbs up. I don't know.
Okay, so thank you. I'm glad we went back to you on that. Honorary captain. Okay, so yes.
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