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The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Local Hour: Polluting the Holiday Spirit (feat. Definitely Not Tony or Rose)

17 Dec 2025

Transcription

Chapter 1: What inaccuracies did Dan express about the Heisman Trophy presentation?

1.28 - 10.498 Unknown

All right, kicking things off with Smirnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world. Chris Cody, you're here. Smirnoff! Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff.

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11.27 - 23.325 Unknown

Chris, you know what goes great with Smirnoff? Smirnoff! Yes, but I'm really talking about the game day fit. The style's got to match the vibe. Smirnoff! All right, here's the deal. Game day is everything. And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion. Smirnoff!

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23.606 - 34.42 Unknown

Starting this December, Smirnoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smirnoff commission merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin Matthew, and Alaylee May.

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Chapter 2: Why is Dan frustrated with the crew's reaction to the holiday song?

34.64 - 48.157 Unknown

Smirnoff! Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize, a trip to the biggest game of the offseason. Plus, one fan will win a Lely Mays one-of-one game day jacket. Wow. The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January 21, and it's all courtesy of what brand?

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49.019 - 64.097 Unknown

That's right, Chris. Fans 21 and over can head to Smirnoff Socials to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smirnoff vodka, number 21, at your local retailer. Smirnoff. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff. Number 21 vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York.

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Chapter 3: What are the expectations for the University of Miami's CFP game?

64.297 - 77.693 Unknown

Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking age. Smirnoff. No purchase necessary. Must be legal. U.S. resident, 21 or older. Sweepstake starts 12-15-2025 at 12 a.m. Eastern and ends 1-23-2026 at 11-59-59 p.m. Eastern. See official rules at program website.

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78.685 - 105.337 Amin Elhassan

Coming off a losing fantasy week, that means you're one week closer to losing your league. That's stressful, which can lead to nighttime teeth grinding. Dentek wants to prevent teeth grinding and has raised the fantasy stakes with a once-in-a-lifetime punishment. Keep an eye out for the ultimate fantasy football punishment reveal at the NFL Pro Bowl. or on Dentek.com slash ultimate punishment.

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Chapter 4: How does JuJu relate the NBA Cup to the holiday season?

105.638 - 117.667 Amin Elhassan

If you're still feeling fantasy stress, try a Dentek nighttime dental guard to protect your teeth. Available at all major retailers. Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right?

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117.967 - 123.798 Mike Ryan

Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is won when it hasn't hit triple zero.

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124.639 - 130.129 Stugotz

Always drink your JƤgermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else?

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130.61 - 140.568 Mike Ryan

Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day? Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth? Obviously smart, but not a rule. Never pee-pee on an electric fence.

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Chapter 5: What office chaos is affecting the holiday song production?

140.808 - 150.32 Stugotz

Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jagermeister must be drank ice cold. Or don't drink it at all. Damn, that's cold.

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150.34 - 160.093 Mike Ryan

Exactly. You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly. Jagermeister liqueur, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by Mass Jagermeister U.S., White Plains, New York.

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160.9 - 189.229 Mike Ryan

shadow show shadow show shadow show shadow show shadow show shadow show shadow show shadow in it davante smith was the last heisman trophy winner to have been alive when they had most recently awarded the heisman trophy at the downtown athletic club Today's not the day for that, Mike. It's just, you know, it's not funny. I came in today and I said hello to him.

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189.409 - 200.421 Mike Ryan

And the first thing I said is I'm still wearing yesterday's mistake of not knowing that Downtown Athletic Club hadn't hosted the Heisman for a quarter century. And that's how you start this. Mike.

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200.441 - 201.021 Dan Le Batard

25 years, Dan.

Chapter 6: What insights are shared about Miami Hurricanes football?

201.102 - 222.99 Mike Ryan

This is not the day to do this to me. It's not. I've got the holiday parties coming up. I'm stressed out about that. We've got too many people in town. Jason, the director, can't get anyone to work with him. And Tony bailed on him at the last minute. Rose wouldn't sing for him. We've got office chaos here, and you're hitting me in a vulnerable spot. That's a bad mistake. I'm lashing out.

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223.01 - 228.578 Mike Ryan

It's been two weeks since we've talked Miami Hurricanes football. There was some, not to spoil it, there's some rapping involved.

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229.199 - 238.192 Stugotz

Not rapping, like gift wrapping, like R-A-P-P in this year's intro, and Tony felt that his cool card might get taken away if he did it. He was worried about the internet?

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Chapter 7: How does the crew feel about participating in holiday festivities?

238.212 - 239.254 Stugotz

Little peek behind the curtain.

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239.454 - 241.397 Mike Ryan

Dog, I f***ed the couch two weeks ago.

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249.494 - 265.624 Unknown

Let's start the show a year in review. Turning over, turning over. It's beer on the over. and bringing the news. Turning over.

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265.644 - 272.392 Chris Cody

Turning over. Holidays are back. Check. Drop a new track. Here with an audio almanac. We said bye-bye, Billy, and that was whack.

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272.913 - 273.894 Unknown

When will Stu come back?

273.914 - 275.476 Chris Cody

You know about that Thai food?

Chapter 8: What is the significance of the upcoming game for Miami's football program?

275.496 - 283.044 Chris Cody

Lips my mood. Zaslow is a wild dude. Nice hat. So I got the scope. Salute you, you got it with the alley-oo.

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283.064 - 300.009 Amin Elhassan

What's the worst part of the life? Hey! Wilford gets got a new wife. Oh! Roy Bellamy loves to talk park. When Chris messes up, he says, whoa. Does Greg have a back in my day? No. The traffic just got in his way. No. And then he says, you never know. Hey. Confirm it, you don't get the show.

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302.753 - 309.979 Unknown

Let's start the show a year in a new train. We got Pablo vocal modulating.

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310.08 - 318.392 Chris Cody

Amin's been weekend observating. Connor McD's McGovern rating. Again? The Panthers took that ass. So let's give it to Dan because his name's on the show.

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318.412 - 334.075 Unknown

And hand it to Mike because he happened to know. Now pass me the ball like Stafford to Puka. Feliz Navidad and happy Chinooka. Let's start the show a year in a year. Turning over, turning over. I'll be.

348.905 - 373.528 Mike Ryan

So they might bench Tua, but I got to get to the office politics. That was a lovely open. Welcome to Trista and Juju Alleyoop. We love having them around during the holiday season. And I want them to legislate some things going on around here because no one wanted to participate with Jason in the making of that open. Tony bailed on him, made him rewrite the whole thing.

373.66 - 393.662 Mike Ryan

made Jason rewrite the whole thing because Tony bailed at the last minute because it was going to hurt his cool quotient. And then Rose, he wrote it for Rose. And then Rose bailed at the last minute as well. And then they forced Ethan to do it. And I see that Ethan was on the cutting room floor, as far as I can tell. I didn't see Ethan, which I was grateful for.

393.722 - 412.948 Mike Ryan

I didn't see Ethan anywhere in that open. Maybe he was a Santa or something. I saw Jason as an elf, embarrassing himself as an elf because no one would participate with him. So, Trista, please legislate this. We've got a judge in our midst. But tell me what it is that I should be doing here where Jason's trying very hard to pollute this place with the holiday spirit and no one wants it.

412.928 - 426.597 Trista Crick

I think you need to just force them, really. Like indentured servitude. I said to Juju, I said, this song goes hard. I mean, I would like an MP3 of this. Are we still doing MP3s?

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