Local Hour: Premature Prediculation

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The Dan Le Batard Show 38 min 7 speakers 8 chapters transcribed
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What are the initial thoughts on the Miami Hurricanes football program?

Unknown 0:03
Oye, Pablito, what's good, bro? Mira que yo resuelvo. Billy Corbin. De pingao. Sinvergüenza. Cortaditos. Two claws. He's a guy who is a blank prick. Mira, una colada que compré aquí. Por tu madre. I imagine it would be like your mama. Por tu madre. Saludos. Hey, that's great to hear. ¿Cómo sentimos de los huracanes?
Mike Ryan 0:30
Guess where we're doing the party?
Unknown 0:38
We're doing it at Bird Bowl.
Mike Ryan 0:44
So no matter how you wrap it up in your fancy happy music, I sit right at the center of what is blatant, obvious, and offensive cultural appropriation. I can't believe what I'm about to say. Zaslow looked great as a Cuban Theo yesterday, but Greg Cody somehow looked better. I'm not kidding you. If I put Greg Cody next to a Cajachina, 12 beers in, and I say, Greg, just don't say anything. He is the coolest of the old Tios. He doesn't say anything. You don't know what's in his past, but he absolutely looks like a fusing right now of my grandfather and my uncle. He's bringing them back to life with the way that he looks. Greg Cody could absolutely pass as Cuban Tio better than even Zaslow.
Unknown 1:31
Is it the beer?
Mike Ryan 1:32
It's the face. It's the entirety of the face. It's the age. It's battered by South Florida sunshine and the islands for 50 years.
Unknown 1:42
I don't know, Dan. The more I see Zazz, the more I'm transported into my childhood. I know 11 guys that look exactly like that.
Mike Ryan 1:50
Put them side to side, please. Send out a photo and do a vote of who looks more like the cupin teal who's not saying anything at the barbecue. He's had too many drinks. He's sedated. He's been at this party this way every time we've gotten together for 30 straight years. Like, nobody knows him. He's super mysterious. He says nothing. He's just there for the drink and the smell of the pig that's dead in the backyards.
Unknown 2:14
He's el hijo de la tia abuela. And I'm like, oh, I don't really know him. My mom told me to be careful with him, that he's a little weird, that I'm like, oh, I don't know.
Mike Ryan 2:21
Nobody knows his past. He's never said anything at any of these parties. He just drinks, and there's pig there, and he's there to everyone in his family.

How do the hosts feel about the upcoming game against Indiana?

Unknown 2:30
I have one of these in my family. I'm not going to say his name to protect. Not innocent. We all do. But they were always like, hey, as a kid, they told me, don't go around him. Don't bring the kids around him. Like, we don't know what is going on. Not in that way. We just don't know what he's going to say. All right. We don't know what he's going to say.
Mike Ryan 2:44
I'm not comfortable with the cultural appropriation. I also am not comfortable with something else that's happening because the game has arrived. All right. My phone's never done this with tickets before ever. and former players already complaining that they can't get tickets. Former players, champions, are like, whoa, Miami does the big event giant. Miami always does the big event well, and this is the biggest of the big Miami events. This school mattering brings generations of bandwagon to the party. What do you mean Miami can just pay attention for six or seven minutes and then gets to celebrate as the winners at the end because they weren't too busy windsurfing all year? all weekend to pay attention to local football team that is always been a source of pride i'm driving yesterday and steven a smith is saying no manner of objectionable hugely objectionable things about the world that i wanted to comment on
Mike Ryan 3:39
Every five minutes for the last two years. But finally, he pissed me off yesterday when he's like, does Miami have a chance? Is this even going to be a game like Indiana? And Stephen, you came sniffing college football three weeks ago. Don't try to pretend like like you've been watching any of this. Miami's playing a home game for the championship. Do you people have no sense of history of what that means? Miami wins that game, always. Miami changes the fortunes of everything happening in football around here. When you bring it to Miami, throw the party at them, and Indiana, have you played this? Have you played this size of crowd? Because you went to Iowa, and Iowa, you struggled in Iowa.

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