Chapter 1: What sparked the discussion about Dolphins' performance?
I'm worried, Zaslow and Cody, that we've got too many people here today and too much show, and we've already started with Sparks because, Zaslow, could you tell what Greg was mad about? Why he stormed from the room?
It's fairly obvious. He's upset that, and I'm not trying to talk as if you're not in front of me, all right, but Greg was clearly upset that none of his topics... were on the billboard for the show. There's a lot to get to today. Greg specifically is upset that none of his topics are on the billboard.
Well, I'm not throwing anybody under the bus, but I do spend 15 or 20 minutes the morning, the very, very early morning before coming in here to write out my topics, and I send them. Now, in fairness, I didn't know Roy was going to be in that seat. I did not send them to Roy, so part of that is on me. But they need to be distributed and represented accordingly.
I saw his rage that he wasn't properly represented in the meeting when with a sports weekend like that, you don't need anyone to come in with any topics. It's fine. We can talk about anything that happened this weekend. That's true. For four straight hours.
I'm not going to let Dan do this today. This is a big Monday. Dad, I'm sorry. I did not put your topics on. That is a thousand percent on me. You work very hard on those topics. Wow. And I should have had them up there as soon as you were in here. Wow. Who are you? That's on me. And we're going to have a great show today. I love you so much. I love working with you. Love spending time with you.
You're a great person. Wow. Who is that person?
That's an accountable Chris Cody rising up the executive ranks at Metal Ark by taking accountability for places where he has been a bad leader or a bad organizer.
And he said that so you can move the show along and get to football, not so you can stay there so you can get to the football. The show hasn't started yet.
The shit stirring as the heat got zero votes to make the point. God, I'm just over this guy's topics. Wait a minute. You were just nice to me. It just can't with you. That's a lot of good topics on the board, though, Greg, you would admit, right?
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Chapter 2: Why is Mike McDaniel's coaching under scrutiny?
All the games were close.
They're only a game back in the AFC East.
They're two-point favorites. They're two-point favorites this weekend.
I mean, if it wasn't for a miraculous comeback, they would have been first in the AFC East this morning. So things are looking up.
They are two-point favorites against the Patriots this weekend.
And what does that tell you? That's worth exploring.
The whole league stinks. What does that tell you?
The whole league stinks.
The whole league is the greatest thing we've ever seen. Because I certainly went into that final game last night saying, OK, well, clearly the story tomorrow is going to be the four-time MVP. Jet Steelers, the lowest total in the sport, goes way over, is the highest scoring game because, holy shit, wait a minute. Do the Jets and Steelers have offense? Because we know they both have defense.
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Chapter 3: How did Tua's performance impact the team's future?
Friends, you could say. No, we cannot say that. But we both enjoy an ice-cold Miller Lite. That's true. Especially around the holidays. You know, it's the 50th anniversary of Miller Lite. It's really amazing. Every time we say that, I can't believe it. Well, it's crazy because they've basically been partners with the Dan Levitard Show for half of their existence. Wow.
When I put it to you that way, we got an old ass show. Yeah, we do. That's crazy. Hey, let's look around at our friends, not each other, and our family, even though they're not here. I do miss your brother, though. Yeah, I know. I'll bring him back. And take that first sip. Look around and know that we made the right decision. When it comes to a domestic light lager, Miller Lite is the best.
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Chapter 4: What were the standout moments from the Dolphins vs. Colts game?
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We're so damn excited that we put it in a song. Don't need no check downs. Give me big hits and quarterbacks. Keep your fantasy team from falling off the track. Football is back, Jack. Whether on the ground or through the air. When the chips are down and you throw a prayer. When your team is priming on the hunt. It's four to ten, you refuse to punt.
When the shoulder pads and helmets crack, that's how you know that football is back, Jack. Let me hear you say football, football. This high is wild and out of control And we're gonna ride it every week Till we reach the Super Bowl Don't need no checkdowns Give me big hits and quarterbacks If you say this game's the best I'll say it's a gag Football is back Jack!
I really did think that I was going to start the show today with Jet Steelers four-time MVP Aaron Rodgers. What was that sound? What happened?
It's the Dolphins. They do it to me. Sorry, that was me.
No, there was a yeah there. Is that the end of the song? I don't know.
what that was i was trying to just cover it up i thought there was a child somewhere in the studio sounded like rose okay well depeche mode enjoy the silence fake out i thought i was going to start the show today four-time mvp aaron rogers 60 yard field goal jaylen ramsey at the end of that game uh i didn't think anyone would feel worse today than garrett wilson
I thought that's the person in the sport who was going to feel the worst. Oh, my God. I dropped the ball. I don't know how the kicker from the Browns spells his name. How do we spell that last name for the Browns kicker? I think that guy was going to feel really bad today. And then Jalen Ramsey does that to Garrett Wilson. And I thought that was the best. Game of the day.
And then the night game happens. And what happens in the night game, and I gave the stat poorly before, so this has happened to the Ravens. They have lost eight times since 2021 when in the game at the end of the game they've got a win probability of over 90%. Like they do last night in the fourth quarter where they're up 15 and... Derrick Henry doesn't fumble like that.
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Chapter 5: What does Daniel Jones' performance signify for the Giants?
They kick the Bill's ass up and down the field.
When he fumbled there, the first thought that came to my mind was, I don't think I've ever seen Derrick Henry fumble.
It happens very infrequently. It happened once last year, and I reacted as if Chewbacca had run across the field. Like, you know, a space alien had appeared because Derrick Henry doesn't fumble. He was averaging 10 yards a carry in that game. 10 yards a carry! Everybody knows he's going to get the... How is that person still doing that?
He ran through the SEC like that, and I'm like, well, that's going to carve up his body. How is that person still Earl Campbell and Ricky Williams and faster than everyone else at a size that's not normal? How is that body not breaking down?
I did a lot of thinking to myself last night during that game, you'll notice. And I also thought, Derrick Henry might be the best running back ever. And I don't know that that's a crazy thing to say because when is he actually gonna slow down?
Because if he keeps doing this for years and years, like, okay. It's just lunacy, okay? At that sport, disposable position, even he got, the Ravens got him cheap because it's a disposable position. Mary Ann Barber, if you run like that, your career will be over in three years. If you are Shawn Alexander and you run like that, you can't keep running like that.
You cannot keep being more physical than all the young people in that sport.
Yeah, at that size, too. It's carrying your own weight. Like, Marion Barber was a very violent runner, but carrying your own weight, falling down when you're that big at that position, that also takes a toll. He's just unprecedented in that way. I understand why you want to talk about Derrick Henry, but from that game, it was pretty obvious to the eye how overwhelming Baltimore was.
has that offense. They are so talented. You just have DeAndre Hopkins as a ball-winning role player on that team. And you just look at Buffalo and you're like, there is quite a gulf in offensive talent between these teams, but they have that quarterback. And he was unbelievable.
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Chapter 6: How do injuries affect the Dolphins' season outlook?
And really, where the game... Might have been one. I know there's a 15-point comeback that everybody wants to talk about.
Their execution at the end of the first half, when you look at that game in totality, those are just incredible winning plays by Josh Allen, who might be the second greatest quarterback of all time and just unlucky enough to be playing in the same generation as Patrick Mahomes.
All right, I'm going to slow everything down here because when you say unlucky enough to play same generation of Patrick Mahomes, Patrick Mahomes empirically yards per attempt. Since he lost Tyreek Hill, only Daniel Jones throws the ball less downfield than Patrick Mahomes every time he drops back.
So whatever you're remembering about what Patrick Mahomes was with Tyreek Hill, since then, he does not throw the ball down the field. And you've seen what's happened to the Chiefs since then. Everyone's caught up to them. Like, they're not going to win all those one-score games anymore because they can't get the ball downfield. But in the breaking up of the Chiefs...
when Tyreek Hill was saying, we can win seven, eight championships. Him going deep all the time, and then he comes to Miami. And Miami takes the two years that are left of his prime, run through his body, and now what I saw yesterday was, and I'm not being prisoner of the moment with this, even as Zaz says, Derrick Henry, best running back ever, and Mike's here, Josh Allen, best quarterback ever.
I'm saying that Dolphin game, I've been watching Dolphin football For 50 years. It's a horror movie. I've never seen that game before. It's not your dad complaining they can't stop anybody. It's a snuff film. They could not stop Daniel Jones and the Colts empirically as the Colts looked like.
The best offensive football team there's ever been statistically that touches the ball seven times, scores seven times because the Dolphins can't stop anybody, and then Tua is terrible as well. And Zaslow comes in here today, comes in here today, guys, on fire and wants to blow the whole thing up.
That's right. Good. You have to, yeah. I'm glad you said that. We're starting the show today with truth bombs. That's a good place to start on a Monday. Yeah, I'm firing Mike McDaniel. And I'm not someone who fires the coach. I'm not someone who takes the lazy approach and blames the coach. Oh, this happened, it's on the coach. No, no. I've seen enough at this point.
When you look at the Dolphins, is there any part of you, and we can take all of us here, and now... We had eight months, eight months to wait and look forward to yesterday. And all of the talk, all the conversation around Mike McDaniel, all the criticism, all the noise, all the culture talk, and that's the very first game? That right there?
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Chapter 7: What are the implications of the Dolphins' upcoming games?
You cannot make that case. And if that's the case... What are we waiting for? I get rid of him today. You can't have all offseason and that's what you put out there. I get rid of him today.
Zaslow also says it's over for Tua.
It is over for Tua. And the reason that I say that is because I think that we're going to look back and we're all going to remember that game yesterday as we can now... Like, Tua's super polarizing. I've been in on Tua. You're either in, you're out. Like, very polarizing. I think we're all going to look back one day...
And we're all going to remember we were all on the same page after that Colts game when it comes to Tua. There was something wrong with him yesterday. I don't know if it's because of the injuries that he's had in the past or whatever it is, but that was a really bad quarterback we watched yesterday.
That's the worst game I've seen him play, and it's not only the worst game I've seen him play. There are some others. That Dolphin game felt like all the games when Tua's out and they have to go to the backup quarterback and you know they're not going to get any offense. Let's examine this for a second because I'm not being prisoner of the moment when I say that Dolphin game has never been played.
It's not something any of us have ever seen. Greg Cody's been covering the team forever. You've never seen that game. Let me give you some of the stats, okay? Because they were the only team beaten like that yesterday. The only one in the entire sport. And it was Daniel Jones. Unstoppable Daniel Jones.
You can tell me all you want about he's going to be improved in that offense and everything else. There was no pass rush. There was no coverage. They could not stop a team that was unstoppable for seven drives.
We also are not mentioning and haven't taken into account that they were playing for Jim Irsay.
That's true.
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Chapter 8: Who are potential replacements for Tua and McDaniel?
The Colts hadn't scored on the possessions that way. The 15 play drives, they had three 15 play drives. They had five all of last year. All of last year, the Colts had five. You tell me if you guys have ever seen that Dolphin game ever played before where you can simply not stop someone and you know you've got no chance of coming back. You're down 30 to nothing.
Every game in that sport is close and you're down 30 to nothing and no chance of coming back.
And it's a team that, like I know Greg was saying in the week leading up to yesterday, how Dolphins, you look at the schedule, that's a game you've got to win. I'm not going to say the Colts are bad. The Colts were an average team last year.
And you have to take that into account where they lost that way to an average team last year who, by all accounts, was being quarterbacked by a bad quarterback. That's why I think we've never seen what we saw yesterday.
Yeah. I was in Jacksonville when they lost 62-7 in Dan Marino's last game. So I'm not going to call it the worst Dolphins performance ever. I am going to say, and I wrote in my column, I was as vicious as I can possibly be about that performance. It was inexcusable. It was sub-putrid. Every worst fear of a Dolphin fan not only came true, but was magnified.
I'm not going to equivocate how awful the Dolphins played. As I wrote, they were the weak one on weak one. That's good.
You're a writer. He liked it so much that he waited for it to land and then stumbled over his next words because he's like, yeah, I said it right.
When I quote myself, you know I like the line. But I'm also not going to over... See, I knew we were going to get this today. What tipped you off? I knew what I was walking into. The fact that fire everybody, fire Tua, trade this guy, McDaniel's out. I was actually making fun of that in the column about how this stink is so colossal that it's going to be major over.
Yeah, Zach Wilson went in garbage time, which describes the Dolphins' entire performance.
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