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The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

The Big Suey: Being Attacked In a Public Forum (feat. Dave Dameshek)

05 Dec 2025

44 min duration
8379 words
8 speakers
05 Dec 2025
Description

"I've put together all the great lists!" Ol' Garlic Bread stops by to discuss NFL storylines heading into Week 14, but he ends up berating Mike for being a member of the gilded class and spiraling as Dan berates HIM for his false starts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Audio
Transcription

Chapter 1: What are the consequences of losing in fantasy football?

0.031 - 22.926 Billy Gill

folks losing at fantasy football has consequences it really does i mean a new tattoo a bad haircut waffle challenges i've seen those waffle challenges those look delightful you're stressing me out with that soundboard Well, fantasy football is stressful. So stressful that it can lead to nighttime teeth grinding. Dentech's mouthguards help with nighttime teeth grinding.

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23.167 - 42.911 Billy Gill

I'm actually a grinder and it's a problem I have. And that's why Dentech wants to protect your teeth while raising the stakes with this fantasy season. This is very exciting. If you want the loser of your fantasy league to live in infamy at the 2026 football all-star game, sign up for the ultimate fantasy football punishment at dentech.com slash ultimate punishment. No purchase necessary.

0

42.991 - 45.179 Billy Gill

Open to legal residents of the 50 U.S. states and D.C.

0

45.22 - 46.284 Unknown

who are 21 years of age or older.

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46.424 - 64.298 Billy Gill

Contest ends on December 8th, 2025. Void where prohibited. For details and official rules, visit dentech.com slash ultimate punishment. Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right? Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is won when it hasn't hit triple zero. Always drink your Jägermeister ice cold. That's the rule.

Chapter 2: How do mouthguards help with nighttime teeth grinding?

64.439 - 75.499 Billy Gill

Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day? Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth? Obviously smart, but not a rule.

0

75.479 - 77.643 Dan Le Batard

Never pee-pee on an electric fence.

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77.663 - 96.694 Billy Gill

Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jagermeister must be drank ice cold. Or don't drink it at all. Damn, that's cold. Exactly. You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly. Jagermeister liqueur, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by Mass Jagermeister U.S., White Plains, New York.

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98.497 - 111.416 Billy Gill

So, listener, you're thinking about upgrading to the all-new iPhone 17 Pro, designed to be the most powerful iPhone ever. But are you also thinking about the traffic on your way to the store or transferring all your data? Well, good news.

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111.817 - 130.107 Billy Gill

When you order a new phone online with Boost Mobile, they'll send an expert to your home or work to deliver your brand-new iPhone 17 Pro and get you all set up on Boost Mobile within minutes. No hassle. Visit BoostMobile.com to get started. Delivery available for select devices purchased at BoostMobile.com. Terms apply.

133.327 - 147.608 Dave Dameshek

Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.

147.728 - 155.599 Chris Cote

I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys?

155.719 - 161.848 Dave Dameshek

I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

Chapter 3: What are the rules for drinking Jägermeister?

162.335 - 165.419 Dave Dameshek

This episode of the Dan Levitard Show is presented by DraftKings.

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165.459 - 167.401 Stugatz

DraftKings, the crown is yours.

0

168.042 - 190.468 Chris Cote

I was very happy to see that the Ravens extended the immortal Mark Andrews a few days ago. Three-year contract. I was legitimately shocked when I read his age, though. You guys want to take just a guess? Maybe you guys won't be shocked by this at how old Mark Andrews is because it seemed to me that he would be a lot older than he actually is.

0

190.448 - 191.169 Dan Le Batard

Is he 29?

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191.209 - 206.826 Chris Cote

No, he's 30 years old, but I just thought he was Kelsey's age and Ertz's age and Gronkowski's age for some reason. He's the career leader in Baltimore in yards, in receptions, in touchdowns. It just seemed to me that he was older than 30, but I think it was the Nacho Libre mustache.

207.046 - 216.217 Dan Le Batard

You always attributed a mustache to Mark Andrews that never existed. He always had a beard. Got the full scruff. Yeah, since playing in college with Baker.

217.078 - 232.682 Chris Cote

You guys are telling me I did this. We've done this show. No, no, I didn't do this show. We did the Simone Fontecchio show where you guys said he didn't have a mustache, and I am just seeing magical mustaches everywhere. Maybe one brief November there was a time where I saw a mustache.

232.743 - 240.995 Dan Le Batard

No, I know what you're doing. You're thinking Baltimore. You're thinking white guy. You're thinking Joe Flacco, Fu Manchu, and then attributing that to Mark Andrews. It happens.

241.456 - 266.292 Chris Cote

Thanks, Doug. Uh... Damoshek is with us now. Football America is on Monday and Fridays, and I keep telling you that it is an excellent show. You will find yourself informed and entertained. But before we get to that, Zezo, can you just give me some things that were so about the earth the last time that LeBron James scored fewer than double digits in a basketball game in 2007?

Chapter 4: What surprising fact is revealed about Mark Andrews' age?

540.963 - 546.649 Billy Gill

LeBron may have the gout, but Crosby still in his prime. Look out for them penguins, right?

0

546.629 - 552.818 Unknown

Crosby had the mumps. Remember that? Mumps? Yeah, he had the mumps. I'm surprised LeBron hasn't had yet.

0

552.838 - 578.15 Chris Cote

Roy, how do you feel about Damoshek's hat right now? He's doing it to spite me, Dan. He keeps wearing the Crosby's backhand hat, and he shouldn't do that to you. It feels disrespectful. Because it is. Okay. Well, at least you're clear on that disrespect. Damoshek, that's an excellent Mr. Roper and Danny White reference for all the 80-year-olds listening to our show right now. Thank you.

0

578.17 - 590.344 Chris Cote

If Lamar loses this game on, assuming it's Sunday, although I shouldn't assume that, if he loses this game on Sunday, what does the conversation around Lamar become? Throw him out the league.

0

590.364 - 604.926 Billy Gill

You understand that... The notion is that there are two women living together in this apartment, and then they need a third roommate, so Jack Tripper comes on.

604.946 - 608.817 Mike Ryan

I heard you get caught up in the air. You're distracted by them garlic rolls.

608.797 - 621.208 Chris Cote

That's right. He's addicted to garlic rolls. He wanted to make his Three's Company joke, and he was going to stay in, and he got distracted by the fact that we could.

621.408 - 622.589 Billy Gill

How's your turkey, Dave?

622.609 - 628.194 Dave Dameshek

Like, oh, it'd be a lot better with some of them garlic rolls from down in Miami. Your breath smelled so bad.

Chapter 5: What is the significance of the Ravens vs. Steelers rivalry?

1315.781 - 1322.089 Chris Cote

And so you've had 12 games to be played here. And I think that people still don't believe it. Should they?

0

1322.727 - 1348.922 Billy Gill

They absolutely should. And of course, everybody has to turn into curmudgeon being fed grapes and I'm going to need to see it before I believe it. Well, believe this in this century and we can go back deeper in through the Super Bowl annals and I will point out to the number of young quarterbacks. who win their first Super Bowl in their second year, in their fourth year, their fifth year.

0

1349.283 - 1374.318 Billy Gill

This is the sweet spot, especially in the 21st century. I know we like to swoon and we like to bend the knee to Brady and Peyton and everybody else, and I get it. And then that has informed the same sort of reaction to Mahomes and like we talk about, Josh Allen, Lamar Jackson, everybody else. But... The sweet spot for winning the Super Bowl is guys between their second and sixth seasons.

0

1374.438 - 1400.809 Billy Gill

That's when, in the last 25 Super Bowls, they have been won by, I think, they've been won 14 times by a quarterback in his second to sixth season. After that, in years seven to 12, it goes down to six Super Bowl victories. The time to win is right now. That means Bo Nix. Drake May, Caleb Williams are in line to go to the Super Bowl.

0

1400.869 - 1418.057 Billy Gill

And by the way, when you get the one seed, I know this is obvious information, but when everything feels like a coin flip, when every game between two halfway decent teams feels like a coin flip, playing one less game is everything. So if you get the one seed, which is what it seems like Denver and New England's going to get,

1418.037 - 1427.972 Billy Gill

And if the Bears take care of business against Green Bay, they may get the 1C2. They should be the favorite based on the last 25 years, based on this millennium's history.

1428.552 - 1442.593 Billy Gill

It all points to those guys being the right teams to look at and circle, even if you like to swoon over the bigger brand name guys who, like I said five minutes ago, some of whom aren't even going to be in the tournament this year.

1442.573 - 1463.947 Chris Cote

I want to ask a handful of questions about last night's game. Since you guys were so ready earlier this week, based on the last three games, to ignore the last 30 years of Jerry Jones' resume and declare that he was indeed a good GM based on the last three games of fixing the defense, after the one-game sample of last night, is he now a bad GM? Yes. Okay.

1463.967 - 1466.751 Stugatz

The next question is... I feel like you were talking directly to me there.

Chapter 6: What are the implications of the Tooth Fairy's financial decisions?

2069.294 - 2090.564 Billy Gill

I think that, but I like where your head's at. And by the way, it's going to be real weird if the Eagles do win. It looks less and less likely. But if they win the Super Bowl on the back of the tush push again, and then the NFL abolishes it, those titles are going to feel real weird that a primary reason they got them is a rule that has now been eradicated. That'd be very strange, right?

0

2090.924 - 2094.289 Dan Le Batard

Dave, what year did they take the goalposts and move them to the back of the end zone?

0

2094.573 - 2100.622 Billy Gill

I don't know. It must have been, what, like 66 or thereabouts?

0

2100.682 - 2107.232 Chris Cote

What does the Canadian Football League do with its actual goalposts? The goalposts aren't in the back of the end zone in the Canadian Football League.

0

2107.292 - 2118.609 Billy Gill

They're 10 deep. I mean, there have to be so many videos from the CFL days of guys just smacking into those things, right? Absolutely. I mean, you can use them to rub off that.

2118.629 - 2135.295 Chris Cote

I'm guessing that's why they moved them. There's no crossing route that you can run. If I had to just guess, I'm going to say, like, you mentioned safety. That seems to be something that would be deeply unsafe to have just basically a barricade in the middle of the— A steel beam, Dan. Call it what it is. It's a steel beam defender.

2135.275 - 2148.382 Stugatz

I just like the idea that one day, like this literally happened, right? One day there was a meeting and someone in that meeting said, yo, that huge steel beam in the middle of the end zone, maybe we do something about it.

2148.422 - 2153.993 Mike Ryan

I love how you're talking about it. It's in the past when every CFP committee meeting moves the goalposts back.

2154.192 - 2161.68 Chris Cote

Look who's still raw. Again with the college football analysis. That's a bar if I said it cleanly.

Chapter 7: How does Lamar Jackson's performance affect his future?

2269.016 - 2271.939 Billy Gill

Don't you see he's down on his knees? It's not safe what happened to him.

0

2272.219 - 2292.3 Chris Cote

It's the opposite of safe. Football America is the name of the podcast. Please stop belly dancing. Damoshek, I can smell your garlic breath from here. You ate two dozen garlic rolls. Take that hat off. You ate two dozen garlic rolls. The girl's like, you want another? No, it was staggering to watch. Another order.

0

2292.28 - 2297.147 Billy Gill

The Dolphins' greatest rival is the Jets. That's what I learned from Mike Ryan. Thank you.

0

2297.608 - 2326.559 Chris Cote

Thank you. Control the program. Just leave him in picture in picture talking to himself. I don't want to hear his voice anymore on the show. If you want more Damoshek, you can hear him and watch him on YouTube. Football America is the name of the podcast. Mike Ryan. had a really lovely innocence about a first joyful experience with his daughter that he has not been able to do before.

0

2326.579 - 2346.821 Chris Cote

And I'm wondering if the rest of you took the same kind of delight in lying to your children and tricking your children with the, spoiler alert, spoiler alert, because I got in trouble when I did this with Santa Claus, spoiler alert. The tooth fairy, there have been allegations that perhaps that's not a real thing and not verifiable.

2346.861 - 2353.052 Chris Cote

There may indeed be a tooth fairy, but did you guys have fun with the tooth fairy experience? I think you talked around that well.

2356.418 - 2370.288 Billy Gill

Some parent was like, all right, I don't think he's going to do it. And then he did it. Let me talk around this fake. All right, I've got three people that are dads to older children. So I'm curious your experience. First one's expensive.

2371.009 - 2387.249 Dan Le Batard

Yeah. Well, that's another thing I want to talk about. What's it going right for a tooth these days? But my daughter was a total pro. I was trying to help her out with it. I got so queasy trying to pull a tooth out of my six-year-old daughter's mouth. And she just got like a piece of floss. And she's like, I got it from here. Hey, don't worry.

2387.509 - 2392.716 Billy Gill

We're good, bro. Just like Colin Coward and LeBron James and Ben Simmons. We're good, bro. You can do the door method, too.

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