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The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

The Big Suey: The Kawhi Laugh-Off

31 Oct 2025

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the role of Smirnoff in the NFL?

1.28 - 10.498 Chris Cody

All right, kicking things off with Smirnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world. Chris Cody, you're here. Smirnoff! Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff.

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11.27 - 23.325 Chris Cody

Chris, you know what goes great with Smirnoff? Smirnoff! Yes, but I'm really talking about the game day fit. The style's got to match the vibe. Smirnoff! All right, here's the deal. Game day is everything. And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion. Smirnoff!

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23.606 - 39.292 Chris Cody

Starting this December, Smirnoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smirnoff commission merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin Matthew, and Alaylee May. Smirnoff! Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize, a trip to the biggest game of the offseason.

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39.332 - 48.157 Chris Cody

Plus, one fan will win a Lely Mays one-of-one game day jacket. Wow. The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January 21, and it's all courtesy of what brand?

48.338 - 48.398

Me.

49.019 - 68.002 Chris Cody

That's right, Chris. Fans 21 and over can head to Smirnoff Socials to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smirnoff vodka, number 21, at your local retailer. Smirnoff. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff. Number 21 vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking age. Smirnoff.

68.022 - 77.693 Chris Cody

No purchase necessary. Must be legal. U.S. resident, 21 or older. Sweepstake starts 12-15-2025 at 12 a.m. Eastern and ends 1-23-2026 at 11-59-59 p.m. Eastern. See official rules at program website.

78.685 - 105.337 Dan Le Batard

Coming off a losing fantasy week, that means you're one week closer to losing your league. That's stressful, which can lead to nighttime teeth grinding. Dentek wants to prevent teeth grinding and has raised the fantasy stakes with a once-in-a-lifetime punishment. Keep an eye out for the ultimate fantasy football punishment reveal at the NFL Pro Bowl. or on Dentek.com slash ultimate punishment.

Chapter 2: How does fantasy football impact player performance?

199.088 - 225.045 Unknown

A couple of leftover stats from last night. Can you get me the stat of the day music here real quick? I've just got a couple of Dolphins stats from last night's game as the Dolphins fall to 2-7 and this entire season halfway through can be swept out to see as can all of the leaders and management and whatever remains of what you consider their top players. 2-7.

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226.291 - 267.694 Unknown

Put it on the poll, should it say in the standings, 2-7. Start of the day, start of the day, it is the start of the day. Start of the day, start of the day, it is the start of the day. So both Washingtons who play for the Dolphins fumbled last night. It's not just that their quarterback leads the league in interceptions. The Ravens had caused all of four turnovers this season.

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267.754 - 288.157 Unknown

They got three of them last night, but that is not the stat of the day. You guys know they rely on A-Chan way too much. You know they're going to break the entirety of what's left of his body. You know that you are frustrated by the number of bubble screens and quick passes at the line of scrimmage. You guys want to guess? Give me the total, Juju, if you do not mind.

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288.697 - 316.317 Unknown

Total scrimmage yards for A-Chan last night, because I mentioned that the Dolphins and time of possession and yardage were right there with the Ravens all game and shouldn't have been down 14-6 in the first half, but... Five times they were inside of the 30, and they ended up with six points for the game. 108 yards from scrimmage, Dano. Do you want to guess how many of those?

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316.377 - 333.477 Unknown

Anybody want to guess how many A-Chan had in the second half while Derrick Henry was grinding the Dolphins to dust after eight carries for 30 yards? Derrick Henry ends up with 100 and whatever yards he ends up with. You want to guess how many from scrimmage yards A-Chan had in the second half last night?

333.677 - 334.258 Chris Cody

I'd say 32.

335.7 - 336.1 Unknown

One.

337.97 - 342.599 Chris Cody

He had 10 targets. He had 10 targets in the game.

343.08 - 349.193 Unknown

One yard in the second half once the Ravens figured out, okay, that's all they've got. They've only got that.

Chapter 3: What are the latest stats on the Miami Dolphins?

634.936 - 639.665 Chris Cody

I would whoop that robot's ass. I would destroy that robot if we had to fight.

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640.045 - 640.847 Juju

That was Kawhi's laugh.

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640.927 - 672.533 Unknown

Sorry, guys. Oh, the horse does a better Kawhi laugh. Why do you keep calling him a horse? He has horns. The horse does a better Kawhi laugh than Juju. The mouth movie. And if you don't remember, that was just Kawhi laughing at not knowing where someone was seated. An outburst of laughter saying, I can't even see where you're seated. As Roy scampers, because you can't do your own job today.

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672.553 - 749.987 Unknown

Hey, let me help him. Because you decided, Roy tries to scamper to see if he can find the Kawhi Leonard laugh to support you so that we can make the music. You laugh, he laughs. You laugh, he laughs. He just spelled laugh for us. He's losing steam guys. I want him to do it the rest of the show and have it haunt him all weekend. The job requires judgment. Poor me's.

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750.97 - 755.826 Unknown

Jimmy Johnson was caught rapping at a tailgate.

755.867 - 762.328 Dan Le Batard

Rapping what? He was rapping Rich Homie Quan. Really? Shout out to the boy.

763.321 - 791.118 Unknown

You haven't seen this, Tony? How old is Jimmy Johnson? He's 80 now. Is he over 80 years old? Obviously a Miami Hurricanes icon. I don't know. Would we put him on the University of Miami Mount Rushmore if I told you all personalities all time, right? Obviously he'd be the only executive or coach who might get a consideration. But if I tell you Mount Rushmore, University of Miami, all-time.

791.399 - 795.163 Unknown

Michael Irvin's going to be up there. Ray Lewis is going to be up there.

795.323 - 795.904 Chris Cody

Mike Ryan.

Chapter 4: How do Halloween costumes reflect personal creativity?

1194.711 - 1201.72 Unknown

I told Tony this last night. I was happy to see this last night. I tried to pass the microphone around at first.

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1201.7 - 1231.065 Unknown

Flanagan's and Tony noticed fairly early as I gave the microphone erroneously to Dave Damoschek that Tony needed to help the crowd and help me as somebody who cares about me and Tony went in and grabbed and did some crowd hype work as he was as I was profoundly disappointed by Cody's effort and Damoschek's effort and a general indifference about thanking our customers for loving us the way they do

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1231.045 - 1244.445 Chris Cody

Well, Dan, the issue was, right, it's like when you grab a rebound, right, you're off on the break. You got to know where your spots are, right? You can't give the ball to the center crashing through if he's not a guy that can handle the ball. So you're getting the ball. You're getting off the rebound. You're like, all right, I'm going, right? You're Magic Johnson.

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1244.465 - 1263.616 Chris Cody

All of a sudden, you pass over to Kareem, who's in the middle of the court like Dave Damaschek. Hey, I'm in this. DJ Laz is playing gulo in the back of my pit bull. Here's Dave Damoschek, and he's like, hey, guys, Pittsburgh. All right. Everybody's like, who the f*** is this guy? He goes, what TV's the Penguins game on? Who the hell is this guy?

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1263.696 - 1292.696 Unknown

Bad decision by me. That's the time that Damoschek decides to shut up, thanks to Jimmy Flanagan and the rest of the Flanagan's crew. I told him, and I will tell others, there are not a whole lot of things in Miami, a transient town, that I can say, hey, you are an iconic thing in this market. You have been somebody who is around celebrations and good things in Miami for a long time.

1292.716 - 1300.405 Unknown

And so we are honored to partner with a group of people who don't do a whole lot of partnership because they don't lend that icon stuff away.

1300.385 - 1327.607 Unknown

uh casually or flippantly so when they throw a party they surprise us with dj laz and they go get they they know what in this town has some resonance there aren't a lot of things it's a transient town so our thanks to flanagan's for supporting us the way they do shout out to flanagan's and also shout out to the city of candle i had no idea what a wonderful part of town all the years i've been coming to miami i had no idea of the immense amounts of talent in the city of can

1327.587 - 1336.142 Chris Cody

Now you get it. Unincorporated, by the way. No city. We have no mayor. We have no rules. Right. As you can tell. And I had an incredible speech prepared last night.

1336.523 - 1336.863 Unknown

Oh, man.

Chapter 5: What makes Jimmy Johnson a Miami Hurricanes icon?

2803.952 - 2809.684 Unknown

Like Spider-Man with his powers. I will never let bad deeds go unchecked again.

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2810.826 - 2813.691 Chris Cody

Damoshek was just crushing garlic rolls last night at Flanagan.

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2813.712 - 2814.533 Unknown

Such bad breath.

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2814.734 - 2823.07 Chris Cody

Such bad breath. I saw him like 10.

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2823.877 - 2846.796 Chris Cody

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2846.776 - 2865.6 Chris Cody

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2865.861 - 2888.79 Chris Cody

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2889.171 - 2890.873 Chris Cody

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