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Chapter 1: What did Ben Stiller miss at the Knicks game?
This is the Dan Levitard Show with the Stugatz Podcast.
This episode of the Dan Levitard Show is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours.
Put it on the poll. Does the MLS stand to gain if Leo Messi took 10 minutes every week to chat with the big dog? Oh, that's a good poll question. That's a good poll question.
I don't know if this is a poll question, but I mentioned to Zazz and to Greg that I think that we're inside of 10 years at this point from every American home having what the Levitard studio has, which is one of them fancy drink dispensers, carbonated, whatever your pleasure. Pick a flavor. Oh, yes. Any of your favorite sodas available, a soda water, a seltzer, a flat water.
I got one of those in my house. You do. Yeah, yeah. It's just water, but I got one of those in my house.
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Chapter 2: How did Anthony Edwards perform against the Spurs?
Well, that's what I was curious about. So I mentioned this, and Zaslow said, I have one of those machines in my house. Is it a machine? A water dispenser doesn't count as a machine. And then he said, no, the dispenser is when— It's a mansion, by the way, but go ahead. Right, your mansion. But he said, no, the dispenser is just what you have in your refrigerator. Right.
And I say, no, no, that's a machine. That's the machine. That's a part of a, that's a small part of a larger mechanism, a machine. No, I have a water machine. No, you have a dispenser. No, the dispenser is in the fridge, okay? The fridge has an ice and a water dispenser, which I don't use.
Chapter 3: Should Spurs fans be worried after their recent loss?
You got that crushed ice? I could do crushed or I could do the big cubes. Who goes crushed? That's monster. Yeah, I don't do crushed because when I'm drinking, I don't like to get with my beverage. I got these little ice chips. I might choke because I'm not expecting that. I just want the liquid. Sometimes with my fridge, it'll be set to big cubes, but I get crushed.
Oh, well, you got to get a new fridge. That's not okay. That's not good. No, no. I could do either setting I want. But, Dave, I never put the crushed for the exact reason I said. I don't want. It makes me feel weird when I'm drinking something and then I get part of an ice cube in my mouth. I'm not trying to chew. I'm trying to swallow. You're a man of the people.
You're not precious eating the crushed ice, requiring crushed ice. Has any human being ever died on ice, though? You don't want to choke on it. Nobody's ever lost their life in a battle against a large ice cube. Knock on wood. I mean, I don't know. You swallow that big cube that they put in my whiskey. If that goes down my throat, I could die.
I feel like you could Heimlich it out of there. Really?
Chapter 4: What are the best looks from the Met Gala?
Yeah, I think so.
Could you Heimlich the fancy bar, the smart cocktail, the big square, that big thing. If that got lodged in your throat, Greg Cody, you submit, somebody could purge that from you with a Heimlich before you pass.
They could Heimlich it out, and you also have to consider that the ice is melting by degrees. Yes, yes. And it's warm in your body. If you hold your breath for 20 seconds, the ice cube in your warm throat all of a sudden dislodges itself.
You think you could just wait and that big cube is going to dislodge from melting in your throat? What a gamble to take with your life. Like, no, I don't need the Heimlich. I just need 20 seconds. Let's see. You can feel it melting now.
The key is to stay calm as you're dying with a giant cube in your mouth.
I love all ice. So last night. We're calling them an ice gnome. The NBA playoffs, round two got started for a couple of series. And the first game, the Knicks, the Knicks blow out everybody now. The Knicks beat the Sixers last night by a thousand points. The game was not close.
And if I could show you here how excited Knicks fans are, all right, because after every Knicks game, you got to go outside and you got to celebrate like you won the finals.
Seventh Avenue, baby.
Every single game, Seventh Avenue is packed. And they were so excited that it doesn't even matter that it's J.R. Smith, former Knick. I'm not going to say Knick great. We have to have some standards here. But he gets trampled by Knicks fans. Look at these Knicks fans.
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Chapter 5: Why did Timothee Chalamet choose the Knicks over the Met Gala?
They're trampling him. He can't even get up. He fell down here. He's on top of other people who have fallen over. It looks scary. It does look scary.
Yeah.
You know what, J.R. Smith? Maybe don't go on 7th Ave. Because they got a separate celebrity. They have a cigarette in his hand? They have a celebrity entrance. Probably not a cigarette. There's a separate celebrity entrance on the corner of, I want to say, 33rd and 8th. That's where all the celebs go in.
You'll see a lot of viral video shot of people, hey, Ben Stiller, say something cool or whatever. They all come in through there, and you get picked up and you go out. So for him to go to 7th Ave, where that is, right where the marquee is, he wanted the smoke. He wanted the people's love and attention. Guess what? You found it, JR Smith.
And then you also have, all right, so look, you're being a little bit daring if you're a Sixer fan. You're a Sixer fan, you're going to the game at MSG, and you're wearing your Sixer jersey. So you're asking for a little bit of trouble potentially, especially if after the game you're walking outside on 7th Avenue.
And there was a – I don't know if you guys saw this clip, but there was a Sixer fan who was walking by himself. That's also a brave move, by himself. And he was attacked by Knicks fans. They're trying to rip the jersey off of him. After the game.
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Chapter 6: What happens when Knicks fans celebrate a victory?
That's a dangerous scenario outside there, 7th Avenue MSG. What are you doing? These Knicks fans, man. I don't see Ben Stiller in the mix there. I did see photos of him. He had Knicks colors on. Where is he in this? He was at the Met Gala, wasn't he? I don't think he was in the game. Oh, wait a minute. That's terrible.
Wait, Nick's super fan who tweets after every game gets into rows with White House officials about what the meaning of his Nick supporting tweets really mean? He wasn't at this pivotal game? That's a married man right there.
I'm beginning to think that Dave knew that all along. That whole setup was just conjecture.
Well, a lot of people are very upset about this, but I get it. Chris Cody just said it, right? This is a guy who almost, I think, because I enjoy reading. If I see an Us Weekly, I love to grab it and see what's going down in showbiz. Ben Stiller and his wife, I think, were at minimum separated at one point. But then they reconciled.
And I suspect that this was a put the foot down, we're going to the Met Gala. I don't care about the Knicks. Now, he's usually at the Knicks games with his wife. What's her name? Christine Taylor. She's an actress.
She's a very incredible actress. Yeah, yeah.
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Chapter 7: How do Knicks fans react to a Sixers jersey in NYC?
She's very accomplished. Played Marsha in the Brady Bunch.
That's right. She's great. He's usually at Knicks games on Celebrity Row with Christine Taylor. They're at the games. Zaslow has a review of her physical appearance. Go ahead. I do not. She's very pretty. I got to tell you something. Look good. This is a terrible job by Ben Stiller. The Met Gala is every year.
The Knicks in the playoffs with their best chance to win a finals in the last quarter century never happens. And he's at the Met Gala trying to tell you what a massive Knick fan he is?
Why are you shaking your head, Roy? I'm just saying, if you put a lot of money for a seat at the table at the Met Gala... Knowing what date that is and not knowing when the Knicks game is going to happen beforehand, I would go to the Met Gala. It's a fundraiser. He's Ben Stiller.
Still paid money for this. It's a fundraiser. So you donated to the fundraiser. Go to the Knicks game. Right. Wait, Ben Stiller's going to have to drive Uber to make up for the money they lost?
What do you prioritize more, sports or your relationship?
Sports. How do you think I got here?
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Chapter 8: What is the debate about prioritizing sports vs. relationships?
Look how great I'm doing. Clearly, I'm making the right choices. Remember what Uncle Jew said? He said he couldn't sell it. He wanted Tony to get whacked. Richie Aprile, he went to visit Uncle Jew. Why do you call him Uncle Jew? It's Uncle June.
It's Uncle Jew. It is in the damage check house.
It's Uncle Jew. Yeah. I'd like to imagine he's Jewish. I'd like to imagine he's on my side. Yeah. Uncle Richie Aprile tries to get Uncle June's sign off. I'm going to go kill Tony. And he doesn't. And then he leaves. Richie Aprile leaves. And he says, he couldn't sell it. He couldn't sell it. Ben Stiller can't sell it? Come on, what are we doing? This is troubling to me.
He can't sell the importance. We have the 76ers at MSG. I'm sorry, we'll go to the Met Gala. You can go. That's really the thing when it comes down to it. I don't want to be too guys versus women, whatever. But why do I have to go to the Met Gala?
If it's important to you, I want you to go there and I want you to be happy and I want to be there and support your interests if that is your interest and it's my interest too and it's a charitable event and so I want to be there for all of it. But come on, we're playing the 76ers. It's the second round. This is a special season for my beloved Knickerbockers.
Surely you understand and want me to be happy and be courtside in my seats watching this special event.
So Greg, I'm curious. You're the sage elder in the room right now. What would you do? You had courtside tickets to a playoff game or the Met Gala with your lovely wife. What would you do?
In which you made an expensive donation to attend.
Right. Well, theoretically, you make a donation for the cause, not so you can dress up and be photographed by a paparazzi. And the paparazzi are thinking, what has become of my life? I could be in Africa taking photographs of wildlife and doing stuff that's great. Why is it an either-or? I would imagine... Every paparazzi gets that decision. The paparazzi is celebrating on Met Gala night.
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