Caller: “My Husband Has a Secret Tik Tok Account”
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What is the main focus of the episode and how does it begin?
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I was about one month postpartum with our second baby. I had found my partner's secret TikTok account where he was telling women that he loved them and commenting and messaging them some really gross things.
That's a big, big deal. You've been together almost a decade now. Has he cheated on you before? Yo, yo, yo, what's up? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show. Coming to you from Nashville, Tennessee, taking real calls from real people who are trying to figure out how do we make sense of this wild world we've been dropped into and how do we make sense of our marriages, our relationships with our kids, our coworkers, our jobs, our mental and emotional health, relationships with ourselves, all of it. So if you'd like to be on the show, I'd love to have you. Click the link in the show notes and we will get you on. And hey, before we start the show, listen, it is almost sold out, but my friend Rachel Cruz and I put on what I believe, and again, I'm a little bit biased, is the greatest marriage retreat on the planet.
October 22nd through 24th, come to Nashville, Tennessee. You and your spouse. And man, we will have a blast. Live Q&As, teaching, special guests, panel discussions. I'll answer your anonymous questions.
How did the caller discover her husband’s secret TikTok account and what emotions did it trigger?
We'll do it all. And we will laugh a lot. There's usually a lot of tears that are shed. And most importantly, we do not shy away from any topic. We'll talk about sex. We'll talk about your money. We'll talk about how to be married while you got kids or don't have kids or wish you had kids. And this year, um, every year we change up all the, all the talks. We change up all the information. We change up everything. And this year you're going to leave with a plan. You'll hear me say this all the time. How do you like re you got to rebuild your marriage all the time. You're going to leave with a step-by-step guide on how to do that. So go to Ramsey solutions.com slash events, or click the link in the show notes and it sells out every year.
It always sells out. Um, but get on it ASAP. Um, it will be gone soon. Let's go out to West Minister, Colorado and talk to Nicole. Hey, Nicole, what's up?
Hey, Dr. John, how are you?
Good. How are you?
I'm doing okay.
What's going on?
So a few months ago, I was about one month postpartum with our second baby. And I had found my partner's secret TikTok account that he had for three years and Where he was telling women that he loved them and he was just like going on like these random girls' profiles and just commenting and messaging them some really gross things. And I don't know how to move on. I feel myself like building resentment and I just, I don't know how to talk to him about it. Sorry.
No, you're okay. That's a big, big deal.
Yeah, we've been together almost nine years, so it's a little bit of a rough patch that I'm finding myself having a hard time just trusting him. We had a conversation about it, but I feel like in the moment the conversation went good, but I haven't really noticed any change or at least... change in how I feel. I don't feel any more secure. And so many more months later, I don't know how to talk to him about it.
Has this happened before? You've been together almost a decade now. Has he cheated on you before? Has there been an unsettled feeling in your relationship before?
Physically, I don't think he's cheated on me, but the whole TikTok thing and social media has always been an issue in our relationship.
Tell me about
that. When we were together for two years, I had found... I just had weird gut feelings and I went through his phone and I saw that he was on TikTok and Instagram, like, you know, liking pictures of half-naked women and hiding it. And I talked to him about it and he was really remorseful. And, you know, I was kind of like really insecure back then. And so I was just like, you know, it's fine. You know, things happen. I haven't really had like a secure relationship before that.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What is the main focus of the episode and how does it begin?
0:05–1:39
2
How did the caller discover her husband’s secret TikTok account and what emotions did it trigger?
1:39–22:44
3
What does Dr. John say about trust, betrayal, and rebuilding security in a marriage?
22:44–39:33
4
How does the conversation shift to the husband’s drinking problem and its impact on the family?
39:33–53:21
5
Why does the caller feel she married her father and how does past trauma affect the marriage?
53:21–1:01:51