How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
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How can I overcome negative feelings about my in-laws?
And that's what this show exists is for people to pull up a chair and just to look across the table from one another, um, and say, how can I help? How can I sit with you when whatever's happening is happening, whether it's in your homes, whether it's in politics, whether it's in your neighborhoods, whether it's in your schools, my promises, I'll sit with you and we will figure out what's the next right move. Um, Yeah, I'm going to stop talking because I'm going to get myself all fired up, man. Let's go out to Montreal, Quebec. What's up, guys? Okay, so we got Cindy and Will from Montreal. Good to see you guys. I'm not seeing you guys. We're going to talk to you. How about that? Yeah. All right, so who wrote into the show?
It was me.
Okay, so you throw the first grenade, and then Will and I will sit in the shrapnel and see what happens next.
All right. I'll start off with my question, which is, how can I overcome the negative feelings I have about my in-laws for the sake of my husband and my children?
So my first response before Will responds is, tell me about your negative feelings. What are they?
I mean, there's a little bit of resentment because I feel that Sometimes they simply do not care about our rules and wishes when it comes to certain topics, especially revolving around our kids.
Give me an example or two.
All right. So main one that's been bugging me a lot is, and this has been ongoing for years, is the amount of gifts my daughter receives. At the beginning, it was just holidays and birthdays. But I might sound a little bit ungrateful here, but this is like nothing you've ever seen before in terms of the amount of gifts. And in the beginning, my husband has asked very nicely for it to be reduced. But then after that, It got to a point where he had to ask very not nicely to the point where a couple of Christmases ago, there was a little bit of drama. He had made her cry, but we thought at that point that we had gotten through to her. And I say we, but in reality, it was him doing most of the talking.
But actually, that did not change much, and it turned into mostly gaslighting, telling him this is her right as a grandma to do these things and to drop it. And there's a reason I ask my question the way I did, and it's because I've kind of given up on getting her to change her behavior, and I'm trying to find ways to... Yay!
High five! Way to go.
I'm trying to find ways for me to deal with it because I'm becoming this naggy wife that I don't like, and I don't want my husband to have to deal with me complaining. You know what I mean?
Yeah, 100%. I don't know any husband loves a nagging wife. All right, so Will, tell me what's going on in your world.
So, yeah, from my perspective, I'm on board with my wife and I support her completely. And I feel the same way in a lot of ways. You know, I construed the situation to be my parents were and it's more my mother. OK, my father is just like, you know. Tells her all the time, but she doesn't listen. So I construed the situation to be more about birthdays and events, and I put my foot down hard.
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