On today’s episode, we hear about: · A woman struggling to put her negative feelings about her in-laws aside · A wife wondering if it’s time to recombine finances with her husband · A husband whose wife is struggling to breastfeed Next Steps: 📞 Ask John a question! Call 844-693-3291 or send us a message. 📚 Building a Non-Anxious Life 📝 Anxiety Test 📚 Own Your Past, Change Your Future ❓ Questions for Humans Conversation Cards 💭 John's Free Guided Meditation 🤘🏼 The Dr. John Delony Show Merch Connect With Our Sponsors: 🌱 Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp. 🔴 Get 15% off with code DELONY at Bon Charge. 🌿 Get up to 40% off with code DELONY at Cozy Earth. 🔒 Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. 😇 Go to Hallow for a 90-day free trial. 💤 Visit Helix Sleep for special offers! 🥤 Get 20% off with code DELONY at Organifi. 💪 Get 25% off your order at Thorne. 🏋️ Go to Trainwell to get started! Explore More From Ramsey Network: 🎙️ The Ramsey Show 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman 📈 EntreLeadership Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: How can I overcome negative feelings about my in-laws?
And that's what this show exists is for people to pull up a chair and just to look across the table from one another, um, and say, how can I help?
How can I sit with you when whatever's happening is happening, whether it's in your homes, whether it's in politics, whether it's in your neighborhoods, whether it's in your schools, my promises, I'll sit with you and we will figure out what's the next right move. Um, Yeah, I'm going to stop talking because I'm going to get myself all fired up, man. Let's go out to Montreal, Quebec.
What's up, guys? Okay, so we got Cindy and Will from Montreal. Good to see you guys. I'm not seeing you guys. We're going to talk to you. How about that? Yeah. All right, so who wrote into the show?
It was me.
Okay, so you throw the first grenade, and then Will and I will sit in the shrapnel and see what happens next.
All right. I'll start off with my question, which is, how can I overcome the negative feelings I have about my in-laws for the sake of my husband and my children?
So my first response before Will responds is, tell me about your negative feelings. What are they?
I mean, there's a little bit of resentment because I feel that Sometimes they simply do not care about our rules and wishes when it comes to certain topics, especially revolving around our kids.
Give me an example or two.
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Chapter 2: What should I do if my in-laws ignore our parenting rules?
Um, yeah, for the most part. Yeah.
Okay. So if that's the case, I don't think we're there yet, but I do honor the fact, here's what I hear you saying. How are you saying you admire how hard he has worked the last two years and you see the work he's putting in and you feel a sense or a move inside the middle of your chest for you to make a move back to center too. And you want to feel like you're doing your fair share now.
for y'all to come together instead of you just staying on your side of the fence and you keep telling him, when you get over here, when you get over here, you're saying, okay, I'll take down the fence too. We'll meet in the middle. I want to applaud his sobriety for two years. That's a nightmare for anybody. That's tough.
I do think you might be at a place where you can sit down and have the money conversation. Here's what must be true. You got to be on a budget for six months. Or the impulse spending or the boxes showing up in the front of the house or the new whatever guitars or guns or whatever he's into.
I want to see that you are invested not in quote unquote managing your money, but you're invested in this household working together, together moving forward. And then you be very specific about what you would need to see for you to be able to exhale and override your body's GPS alarm systems and put your money back in the same account.
Because it could be that y'all dump all your money back in the same checking account and you have a big kumbaya moment and it's beautiful and you just handed a match to somebody holding a can of gasoline. Or it could be the olive branch. And so sobriety is step one. Like when people say like, hey, I want to meet with my –
I went behind closed doors with a couple a few months ago, and I got kind of an emergency call. Hey, things are blowing up. Will you come over? I went over, and one of the people was completely drunk, just hammered. And so I said, hey, there can be no healing in this house until that's dealt with, period.
And so I think what's hard for you is you've got 10 years of kind of doing life on your own with this other person in your house who you love and care about. And now you've gone to and you wanted to just quote unquote go back to the way it was. I don't think we're there yet. I think two years just said, okay, now we're at the starting line. Almost like you're redating again.
Okay, now you're clear eyed. Here's what must be true for me to feel safe with something as powerful as transportation, food, lights, a roof over our head. And if he looks at you and says, I'm not doing any of that crap, then I think, Lee, you have a, you've got more data than you wanted, but you've got data that you got to deal with. That would say he's not invested in this marriage.
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