I’m Tired of Supporting My Husband and His Daughter
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Why is Christine frustrated with her husband?
I'm wanting to get help to understand if it's reasonable to stop supporting my husband financially until he gets a job.
I imagine there's a lot here, huh?
You shouldn't have any confidence in him.
Good morning, good afternoon, good night. This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show. I'm so grateful that you're joining us. On this show, we talk about your mental and emotional health, your marriage, your kids, local schools, whatever you got going on in your life. My promise is I'm going to sit with you and we're going to figure out what's the next right move for you, for your family, whatever y'all are working with. If you want to be on this show, this is real people going through hard stuff. Give me a buzz at 1-844-693-3291. Leave a message and we'll holler back at you or go to johndeloney.com slash ask, A-S-K.
All right, let's go right down the street here in Nashville, Tennessee, and talk to Christine. Hey, Christine, what's up?
Hey, good morning, Dr. John. Thanks for taking my call.
Of course. Thanks for calling. Thanks for getting up early with us. What's up?
Absolutely. So I am hoping to get some help with making the next right move. Quickly getting into my question, I'm wanting to get help to understand if it's reasonable to stop supporting my husband financially until he gets a job.
Ooh, I imagine there's a lot here, huh?
There's a ton.
Yeah, let it rip, let it rip.
Okay, so by trait, he's an accountant. Okay. And a couple years ago, he transitioned into the mortgage industry and became a branch manager. Well, it's been a rough couple of years, huh? Oh, it was, it was, yeah. And in August of 22nd, decided that it was no longer a healthy place to be. So it's the mortgage industry, and he spent the last couple of years trying to figure out what the next great job is for him. And unfortunately, there just hasn't been a lot of progress.
So as an accountant over the last three years, in one of the most bananas job markets in the history of the United States, where in many places it was a sign-up sheet, right? It was like to get a job. And I know that's not the case across the board, but for a licensed accountant, for somebody who knows how to manage numbers, good God almighty. And he quit, I was going to say, the last two years or so, it's been a bloodbath in the mortgage industry, but 22, it was still raining mortgages. So he quit when this thing was hot to trot, right?
Well, it started slowing down in June and by August. Things had really just, for him, dried up. Okay. But more than that, it was just sucking the life out of him. Sure. And he was miserable.
So we agreed it was time for plan B. But he jumped off the boat without just into the lake. He didn't have another boat to jump into, right?
Correct. Yep. He tried the e-commerce world for about six or seven months. Actually, more like a year.
What does that mean? Like buying and selling, reselling eBay stuff?
Kind of. Yeah. Yeah.
So he just watches a lot of Instagram reels?
Yeah. Yeah. A lot of YouTube stuff.
Have you sat down and told him, I no longer respect you?
What challenges does Christine face as the sole provider?
Yes.
Okay.
How'd that go? He understood.
Okay.
He apologized, recognized me. you know, the failure in providing for the family and, you know, needing to find a job and turn things around.
How have y'all paid the bills the last three years?
Me. Okay. Yeah. So I am the sole income for our family. He has a daughter and we are not receiving any child support from his ex-wife. So everything is sitting on me financially from end to end.
Is she not your daughter also?
No. I mean, she's my stepdaughter, but no, she's not my daughter biologically.
How long have y'all been married?
A little over 10 years.
So you've had a youngster living with you for 10 years and you don't consider her your daughter?
I do. The relationship is really strange. Um, she's got a lot of trauma with her mom, so she doesn't trust women. And, um, her dad is the end all be all. And so we're more like friends than I, than she's my daughter. Not for lack of trying. It's just the circumstance.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why is Christine frustrated with her husband?
0:05–3:42
2
What challenges does Christine face as the sole provider?
3:42–5:25
3
How can Christine approach her husband about his lack of employment?
5:25–9:00
4
What are the implications of financial dependence in a marriage?
9:00–12:51
5
How does self-worth relate to employment?
12:51–15:18
6
What steps can be taken to regain purpose in life?
15:18–18:35
7
How can boundaries help in a struggling marriage?
18:35–25:56
8
What is the importance of communication in relationships?
25:56–59:27