Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
My in-laws always want to talk about politics and current events when we get together. How can we set boundaries and keep the conversations civil over the holidays?
What do you guys do?
Well, we, because both of my parents are gone.
Wow, way to bring down a room. This is Christmas Eve, Kelly. Jeez. Ho, ho, ho. It's Christmas Eve. Why are you listening to this podcast right now?
Chapter 2: How can we set boundaries with in-laws during the holidays?
You should be eating too much, hanging out with your families, or like millions of people hiding in a closet at a relative's house you don't want to be at listening to a podcast. I'm glad that you're here. I wish you weren't here, but I'm glad that you are here listening to the show.
This is our annual Christmas Eve, Christmas-ish, around that day, Ask Me Anything AMA, where Kelly 1.0, Grandma Kelly, and the gang have curated a whole bunch of questions, and they're going to just drop them on me, and we're going to have a good time. Kelly, you guys all look festive back there.
Thank you. You don't.
This is my festive Christmas shirt.
Your best, most specialist black Christmas shirt.
I picked the most specialist black Christmas shirt out of my closet. This makes me feel Christmassy inside.
All warm and fuzzy.
So stupid. Oh my gosh, look at this. There's so much Christmas decor. Or as Starbucks calls it, what do they call it? I don't know. Holiday day.
Holiday, yeah. Yeah, they don't say Christmas.
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Chapter 3: What are effective strategies for managing family conversations?
I just see the horns go... They grow up. I think you should wear these all the time.
It's Christmas. We're being friendly and nice. Oh! Oh!
All right, go for it.
All right. First question. Now, these were sent in from our listeners, by the way. We did an ask on social. Okay. So these are all listener questions. Okay. My in-laws always want to talk about politics and current events when we get together. How can we set boundaries and keep the conversations civil over the holidays?
I got this from my wife, and it's the greatest thing ever. We send an email about what our travel plans are, and then I put in the email. She sent it the first year to teach me how to be a grown-up. This was not that long ago. But now I will put in the email things we will not talk about. And I put it in there. So during COVID, it's like, we will not talk about COVID. We will not talk about...
I don't know, whatever conspiracy theory, a couple of them are fun, but not these conspiracy theories. We're not going to talk about blah, blah, blah. We're not talking about politics. And I, at least I got to give my family credit. I've seen somebody or I've experienced somebody launches into something and then another person polices it.
And they're like, no, John said, we're not talking about that. And they all look at me and you know what? I don't care. Cause we're not talking about that.
So that's the big thing is I always want to give people – I want to know that I was clear, not just – like you've heard me say this, not just cast somebody in a movie that they don't know they're in and they get mad at them for saying the wrong lines. Often when I go to holidays or any kind of thing, I have this – way this is going to play out in my head and it doesn't.
And then I get mad that they didn't act right. So I like to just take full ownership of it now. And if they want to say, if I had a family that was like, if you come to my house, I can talk about whatever I want to, then I get to be a grownup and not go to that house. But that's how we handle it in our house, and it has worked to my family's credit all around.
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Chapter 4: How do we maintain sanity with many guests during the holidays?
Your sanity begins way upstream. In September, when y'all start talking about the holidays, not waiting till December, you start talking about this in September saying, hey, let's ask ourselves this question. How do we want the house to feel during the holidays? Well, I want it to be full of laughter and fun and family and cool. What about you? Laughter and family and fun and cool. Great.
How do we get there? And then you have to have the courage to say the last few years, your family stays a week. And after day three, I feel like they don't want to be here. You struggle. I struggle. what would it look like if we did for three days this year? And then you and I went on a weekend retreat to, or a weekend getaway to like whatever, something like that.
But it's having that conversation way before we get there. If none of that works and she's like, nice try, bucko, my family's coming for the whole week. They have, and they always will, whatever, great. Then you get to be a grownup. And by the way, just suck it up. It's a week. Good grief. Just roll your eyes when your father-in-law wants to talk about whatever, like it's fine.
Or like you said, go on drives, plan a hunting trip, pick up a, I don't know, whatever. Like, oh, I got it. I told you last year when y'all were getting with family, Kelly, if there needs to be a podcast emergency, just text me and I'm there. I'll show up for you.
Yeah, sometimes I have to run a lot of errands, a lot of unexpected errands.
That's part of it. And by the way, it happens every year. So if every year you're surprised that you're in a bad mood again, that's on you. It's going to happen if it's going to happen. So be a grown up about it. Have some fun or come up with some things to do. Take the kids to the movie or whatever. So it's just doing that. It's just choosing. I'm going to do things to not be miserable here.
All right. Question number three. Top five Christmas movies.
Die Hard.
That answered my next question. Is Die Hard a Christmas movie?
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Chapter 5: What are the best and worst holiday traditions?
So it's going to be great for us.
I would rather set myself on fire than watch a Hallmark Christmas movie.
I know. Even though your romantic life is so like straight from one.
No, no, no.
That's true. That is true. There's so many jokes I'm not making right now. Go to the next one.
I'm so proud of you.
Yes, Die Hard is a Christmas movie. Next. How is that a debate? The whole thing's at a Christmas party.
I know, but it is. So Chris Wright, who leads our team, he was a huge Die Hard fan.
Also... Guitarist.
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Chapter 6: How do we handle the first holiday after losing a loved one?
I think few things make me question whether God is real than when I hear the little drummer boy come on. And you know what? By the way, I live in Nashville, which is home to the St. James family, for King and Country, that whole family, they're awesome. And everybody always is like, yeah, yeah, but what about for King and Country's version?
Is pretty awesome, though.
You know what? I've seen them play live, and they're astounding how good they are. And there's only so much polishing of a steaming pile of dog chotch that you can do. And so, for whatever, like, they gave it their good college try. And I love those dudes. They are awesome, great human beings. I love it. And... That song, like when people are like, AI is going to take over and destroy humanity.
I'm like, well, that's the same group of people that wrote the little drummer boy. So maybe that's what we get. That's what I think about that song.
My thought is always, yeah, that's what Mary was looking for. You know, I have a sleeping infant. Please come play the drums.
Yeah, let's go, idiots. That's the most man thing.
Yeah, that's exactly what every mother of a newborn wants.
Check out, hey lady, check out my drum solo. Gosh, dude.
Bring a casserole. Do nothing.
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Chapter 7: What should we consider when starting new family traditions?
That's right. I think you've said that almost every year.
I love that song. I love it. I don't know why. I just sing it when I'm by myself sometimes, even in the summer. I just love it. Makes me feel happy. Out jumps good old... It makes me think of like kind of a little bit overweight, but kind of like a... Like a fit Santa. He just jumps on out and he's like, hey! Right? I don't know. Just makes me think of Santa as like, hey, buddy. I don't know.
Have you seen the Christmas Chronicles on Netflix with Kurt Russell? No. Okay, by the way, great current Christmas movie. But Kurt Russell is Santa and he's pretty amazing Santa because he's Kurt Russell. So maybe it's that Santa.
I'll also say this. This is not good for your kids. The movie Bad Santa with Billy Bob Thornton. Hilarious.
That is a great movie. Also not good for your children in any way, shape, or form. Fat Man with Mel Gibson.
I don't know that movie.
Oh my gosh. Is it great? Yeah. Not appropriate. It's like very violent, but it's so good. Great Christmas movie.
Also Violent Night. Violent Night?
With David Harbour.
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Chapter 8: How do we navigate gift-giving with income disparities?
I told y'all she was old.
I hate you.
Told y'all.
I think the folklore was either that they were brothers or whatever, but it's basically...
As we call folklore, as she called the daily news.
Go ahead. Seriously, y'all. It was Santa Claus, you know, gave gifts and stuff to good boys and girls. Krampus, who looks a little like, what, like a demonic goat, some might say? Okay. He would take bad boys and girls, put them in a sack, beat them with a stick, and then take them to hell.
And parents would use it for like, well, if you're not good, then this is, but still over in like Austria and stuff, they have like Krampus parades and everything.
In case y'all are wondering, how did Kelly end up on the mental health show?
Here it is.
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