On today’s episode, we hear about: · A woman who feels like she doesn’t deserve her husband because of her past · A man struggling to find a meaningful career he’s passionate about · A wife unsure how to get her husband to go to church again Next Steps: 📞 Ask John a question! Call 844-693-3291 or send us a message. 📚 Building a Non-Anxious Life 📝 Anxiety Test 📚 Own Your Past, Change Your Future ❓ Questions for Humans Conversation Cards 💭 John's Free Guided Meditation 🤘🏼 The Dr. John Delony Show Merch Connect With Our Sponsors: 🌱 Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp. 🔴 Get 15% off with code DELONY at Bon Charge. 🌿 Get up to 40% off with code DELONY at Cozy Earth. 🔒 Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. 😇 Go to Hallow for a 90-day free trial. 💤 Visit Helix Sleep for special offers! 🥤 Get 20% off with code DELONY at Organifi. 💪 Get 25% off your order at Thorne. 🏋️ Go to Trainwell to get started! Explore More From Ramsey Network: 🎙️ The Ramsey Show 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman 📈 EntreLeadership Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: Who is Marie and what struggles is she facing in her new marriage?
My past is a lot more, like, checkered with strings of relationships. And my husband's wonderful. He waited for, you know, his life. And so that's been such a blessing. But also just wishing I had had that to offer to him, too. Why don't you think you're wonderful, Marie?
What's going on? What's going on? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show, taking your calls on your marriages and your relationships and your mental and emotional health, whatever you got going on in your life. For the last two decades, I've been sitting with hurting people trying to figure out what's the next right move.
And that's what this show is all about, real people going through real challenges. Give me a buzz, dude. I'd love to have you on the show. Actually, fill out on the internets. Go to johndeloney.com slash ask. A-S-K. Evidently, the toll-free number is giving people some head tilts because you guys weren't around when toll-free numbers existed. Go to johndeloney.com slash ask, A-S-K.
Fill out the form on the interwebs, and it'll go into Kelly and Taylor's inbox, and then Kelly will make the ultimate hoo-hoo-ha decision. And if you hear it in my voice, dude, I'm coming off of being so – I've been this sick since, I don't know, since I was a kid maybe, man. Gnarly Marley flu. So I am –
Yeah, I had it two weeks ago, and it was rough.
I know. I was going to wait until I got in front of everybody to say thank you for giving me that. I'm really grateful.
I did not give you the flu.
Pretty sure.
I mean, like half our sales team is down with it. There are so many people down with it.
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Chapter 2: How does Marie's past affect her self-worth and relationship?
Oh, believers like Christian faith believers? Yes.
Yeah.
Okay. Sorry. No, it's okay. I'm really choked up. No, you're good. Take a second. Take a second, man. There's no rush.
Okay.
We're all good.
Yeah. I guess just, yeah, I mean, my past is a lot more like checkered with just a lot of different like strings of relationships and, um, kind of like finding my home and whoever I would be dating. Um, and my husband's wonderful. He waited for, you know, his wife. And so that's been such a blessing, but also just wishing I had had that to offer to him too.
Um, and I did share like upfront, like I was like, this is everything. And I wanted to be like fully known by him. And, um, I guess also like, there's an element that I feel like I, I wish I didn't like take him from someone better, you know? And I, I don't know why that's, that's a thing because we're so happy together. Truly. Like he's wonderful.
Um, why don't you, why don't you think you're wonderful, Murray? That's a, that's a, that's a, that's a really incredible word. Um, And your husband had a set of values before he got married. And he clinged tightly to those values, right? And I'm happy for him. And I think that's wonderful. I think you're wonderful, too.
And you didn't have that same ecosystem and you didn't have that same structure and you didn't have those same values beforehand. Yeah. And now you do. Tell me why you don't think you're wonderful.
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Chapter 3: What advice does John give Marie to overcome feelings of unworthiness?
Yes.
Okay. Now tell me about this knuckleheaded boy you married.
He's awesome. He's kind of a redneck. He works on cars and he's... comes from a really good family. He's got a twin sister who loves him and his whole family is just wonderful. And I mean, he's in the military and he works on airplanes and he loves me. And I do think it's the first time I've actually felt safe. I know you use that word for the other relationships.
Oh, they were all pretend safe. That's right. You're exactly right. They were all pretend safe. Yeah.
Yeah. But just meeting him, I knew that he really sounds cheesy, but really saw me.
Does he lie to you?
No.
Okay. So here's the thing. In the moments you don't believe yourself, I want you to believe him. Okay?
Yeah.
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Chapter 4: How can visualization and self-forgiveness aid healing from a difficult past?
Yeah. Tell her to wait for it. To try to be patient.
No, don't tell her that.
Don't tell her that. We're just going to tell her we love her.
Okay.
And then it works out. You can't change what happened. That's the thing. Worrying about what happened, being angry about what happened, there's a period at the end of that sentence. The only thing you can do is write a new sentence. That's it. And so all your energy can be spent on saying, nope, not going back there. I've got this here now.
And me and Hillbilly, we're building something amazing together.
Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah. He chose you. He chose you.
That tells me you're worth being chosen. He may be wonderful, but I think you're wonderful too. Okay?
Okay.
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Chapter 5: Who is Rome and what challenges does he face finding career passion?
But I think if you were to quit this job and to go start a new job within six months, you would find a reason why this job wasn't going to be, quote unquote, your long-term job. Because you don't have a vision even for what that long-term job is because you don't have a vision for what it looks like to look in the mirror and just be happy with Rome.
And so everything you're chasing is always going to be out there, out there, out there, out there. Does that make sense? Maybe I'm out to lunch, man. I'm okay. If I'm, if I'm completely missing the mark here.
No, I think you're, I think you're pretty spot on.
Okay. Did somebody tell you you weren't enough?
Um, no, not necessarily. I just, I think growing up, uh, I never had any form of guidance, I guess you'd say.
Okay.
I was just kind of figuring life out as I went along.
Yeah. Your parents were just hustling and hustling?
Yeah.
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Chapter 6: What practical career guidance does John offer for those feeling stuck?
Groceries, and yeah, so it's basically breaking down pallets worth of product and moving it along as I go. Okay. It's very physically demanding.
There you go. Do you like the beverage industry? Or do you like the grocery stores that you deliver to? Or the bars that you roll into? Some yes, some no. Okay.
So maybe sitting down with asking for five minutes or 15 minutes or grab a quick cup of coffee with an assistant store manager who sees you in your uniform working and you have a great attitude when you work and you go in there and you're always working and working and you sit down and ask for 10 minutes of his time and grab him a cup of coffee and say, I'll pay for it, even though it's his grocery store.
You say, hey, can I pick your brain for 10 minutes? What's it like being a manager of a grocery store? because I'm interested in this industry, but I might trade. I might be looking to shift and I just want to have a conversation with somebody about that.
Or if you like walking into a bar in the morning in the light and it's smoky and somebody's sweeping it up, you think, man, this would be a fun life. I'm going to sit down and talk to the owner. Or you're dropping, I don't know, food off or dropping drinks off at a local gym or But it's just about sitting down with somebody and saying, hey, tell me about the life of this job, of this career.
You're right. Running drinks, running beverage is tough. It's tough. It beats up your hips and your knees over time. You can also make some good money and you can hustle, hustle, hustle, man. But it's just about taking that next step. But also, here's the thing. I really want to encourage you. In fact, hang on the line.
I'm going to hook you up with Ken Coleman's book, The Work You're Wired to Do, and I'm going to hook you up with my friends at BetterHelp. I want you to talk to a counselor. I want you to talk to a counselor because there's something in your affect and there's something in your story that I'm missing.
Um, but I think it's, it's way in heavy on you because wherever you're going, you keep going with you and until you're okay with you, it's going to make showing up anywhere that much harder. Okay. So hang on the line here, brother. I'm really grateful for the call Rome and congratulations on being a good dad and for having a new baby and for being a good husband. Um,
You're showing up and putting food on the table, which is what you've got to be doing in this season. But I think you're right. There may be more out there in the world for you. So hang on the line here, brother. We'll get you hooked up with some good resources. We'll be right back. All right, let's talk train well. Cutting corners with our physical fitness won't cut it.
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Chapter 7: How does John address the realities of career and personal growth today?
Okay. Tell me about that.
I don't know. Trying to get him to talk about it is... Like pulling teeth with no Novocaine.
Yeah, man. So I wonder if there's some pretty serious hurt down in there. And he may be not wanting to talk to you about it because he doesn't want to hurt what he sees that you hold so valuable, right?
Mm-hmm.
I don't know. I found a book. It's called Pray For Him.
I don't know that book.
Oh, it's a good one. It basically teaches you that you can control yourself and you keep praying for them to find their way. I've been following it. It just doesn't feel like he's wanting to change his opinions or feelings or thoughts. And I don't know if it's... worth pushing or if I just need to like stay back and be quiet about it or, and just keep going with the kids or like, you know?
Yeah. I mean, there's, there's a couple of different things I'm thinking here. Um, number one, um, I may have mentioned this on the show before. We've got 700 episodes or something now, so I don't remember if I have or not. But I remember running across a video. It was an old Penn and Teller video. They still are magicians, but I forget the name of the tall guy. Is it Teller or Penn?
Is the tall one Teller?
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Chapter 8: What steps can Rome take to build a fulfilling career while supporting family?
Uh, just being happy, being able to be in a place where we can not have to worry about money or anything, you know, like the daily struggles, like to a point he doesn't have to go to work. He just, he can go to work. You know what I mean?
Okay. But dig underneath that. What has changed? You're talking all about symptoms. What has changed? Our marriage. Tell me about it. What has changed?
Um, we're different people now than we were when we got together. Of course you were. Uh, we've, there's just a lot of things that have, what are they?
Start spitting them out. I don't know. Do y'all vote?
Did he change the way he votes now? No, no.
Does he change the way he dresses? No. Do you start listening to Morgan Wallen all of a sudden?
No, no. And that's, that's the thing is like, I, I don't know what, what's changed with him. Like, He just tells me he's had these feelings come up and all of a sudden he's struggling. I'm like, okay, but where did it come from? Because I thought everything was fine.
Okay, that's not a good answer.
I know. I don't know what to say.
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