My Sexual Past Is Haunting My New Marriage
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Who is Marie and what struggles is she facing in her new marriage?
My past is a lot more, like, checkered with strings of relationships. And my husband's wonderful. He waited for, you know, his life. And so that's been such a blessing. But also just wishing I had had that to offer to him, too. Why don't you think you're wonderful, Marie?
What's going on? What's going on? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show, taking your calls on your marriages and your relationships and your mental and emotional health, whatever you got going on in your life. For the last two decades, I've been sitting with hurting people trying to figure out what's the next right move. And that's what this show is all about, real people going through real challenges. Give me a buzz, dude. I'd love to have you on the show. Actually, fill out on the internets. Go to johndeloney.com slash ask. A-S-K. Evidently, the toll-free number is giving people some head tilts because you guys weren't around when toll-free numbers existed. Go to johndeloney.com slash ask, A-S-K.
Fill out the form on the interwebs, and it'll go into Kelly and Taylor's inbox, and then Kelly will make the ultimate hoo-hoo-ha decision. And if you hear it in my voice, dude, I'm coming off of being so – I've been this sick since, I don't know, since I was a kid maybe, man. Gnarly Marley flu. So I am –
Yeah, I had it two weeks ago, and it was rough.
I know. I was going to wait until I got in front of everybody to say thank you for giving me that. I'm really grateful.
I did not give you the flu.
Pretty sure.
I mean, like half our sales team is down with it. There are so many people down with it.
It was wild in the streets, man. But I'm slowly coming back. Slowly but surely. But dang, Gina. I'm struggling. It's all right, though. Right? I've got your shining face looking right at me, Kelly. Yeah.
We're just glad you're feeling better. Yesterday wasn't great when you came in.
Yeah, it wasn't great. But today, and we're back. Let's go out to Kona, Hawaii, and talk to dear Marie, my favorite John Mayer song. What's up, Marie?
Hi, Dr. John. My question for you today is, gosh, just dealing with the I guess memories and like consequences and just struggles of my past and coming into a new marriage with a wonderful man. Um, yeah, it's just been, it's been hard and I'm just wanting to fully enjoy him. Um, but having that past and kind of thinking I had, you know, gotten through it and left it and was, um, yeah, moved, moved through it. But then you like bring a new person into your life and, um, Yeah, it's been hard.
Yeah. Well, thanks for calling. Tell me about yourself a little bit.
Yeah. I'm 28, and my husband and I met only a year ago. But we are both believers, and so just right away we knew that, like, this was the person God had been preparing us for.
How does Marie's past affect her self-worth and relationship?
Oh, believers like Christian faith believers? Yes.
Yeah.
Okay. Sorry. No, it's okay. I'm really choked up. No, you're good. Take a second. Take a second, man. There's no rush.
Okay.
We're all good.
Yeah. I guess just, yeah, I mean, my past is a lot more like checkered with just a lot of different like strings of relationships and, um, kind of like finding my home and whoever I would be dating. Um, and my husband's wonderful. He waited for, you know, his wife. And so that's been such a blessing, but also just wishing I had had that to offer to him too. Um, and I did share like upfront, like I was like, this is everything. And I wanted to be like fully known by him. And, um, I guess also like, there's an element that I feel like I, I wish I didn't like take him from someone better, you know? And I, I don't know why that's, that's a thing because we're so happy together. Truly. Like he's wonderful.
Um, why don't you, why don't you think you're wonderful, Murray? That's a, that's a, that's a, that's a really incredible word. Um, And your husband had a set of values before he got married. And he clinged tightly to those values, right? And I'm happy for him. And I think that's wonderful. I think you're wonderful, too. And you didn't have that same ecosystem and you didn't have that same structure and you didn't have those same values beforehand. Yeah. And now you do. Tell me why you don't think you're wonderful.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Who is Marie and what struggles is she facing in her new marriage?
0:05–3:16
2
How does Marie's past affect her self-worth and relationship?
3:16–9:19
3
What advice does John give Marie to overcome feelings of unworthiness?
9:19–15:08
4
How can visualization and self-forgiveness aid healing from a difficult past?
15:08–27:26
5
Who is Rome and what challenges does he face finding career passion?
27:26–28:48
6
What practical career guidance does John offer for those feeling stuck?
28:48–34:49
7
How does John address the realities of career and personal growth today?
34:49–39:26
8
What steps can Rome take to build a fulfilling career while supporting family?
39:26–52:38