My Stepdad Had an Inappropriate Photo of Me on His Phone
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What shocking discovery did Renee make about her stepdad?
I found a picture of myself on my stepdad's phone. He had put a picture that I had posted on Facebook through an app that made me look completely naked. I'm just absolutely gutted. Ugh.
Ugh.
How did Renee feel after finding the inappropriate photo?
God.
Yo, yo, what's up? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show, taking your calls... from real people all over planet Earth about whatever's going on in your lives, your mental and emotional health, your relationships, whatever you got going on. I'd love to have you on the show. Give me a buzz at 1-844-693-3291 or go to johndeloney.com slash ask, A-S-K. All right, Raleigh, North Carolina. Let's talk to Renee. What's up, Renee?
Hi, nothing much. How are you?
I am running a scam called being a YouTuber. What are you doing?
Yeah, nothing much. Just enjoying the sunshine out here in Raleigh.
Amazing. It's a beautiful part of the world, man. That's fantastic. So what's up?
Yeah, I had an unfortunate situation where I... Found a picture of myself on my stepdad's phone and he had put a picture that I had posted on Facebook through an app that made me and the friend that was in the picture as well look like we were completely naked. It's my world kind of shattered. in that because I don't have a great relationship with my dad and my stepdad has been in my life for, you know, 10 plus years. And he's really been an answer to prayer for me in so many ways. So I'm just absolutely gutted and shattered. And I, I don't know, I don't know what a relationship with him would look like moving forward. Um, I don't know if I want that. I don't know. I just, I feel very heartbroken, very betrayed, very trapped and very, very stuck. So I'd love any advice that you have.
How old are you?
I'm 30.
How old was this picture that you posted?
It was about a year old, so I was very much an adult.
Okay, so this wasn't kids? No. Jeez. Gosh. How'd you find this? So, I...
he was picking me up from the airport. I'm originally from California and my flight got in very, very late. It was delayed. And so he picked me up from the airport and I heard a notification go off on his phone. And I asked him, I'm like, who's messaging you at like one in the morning? What's going on? And so he told me he's got friends that he used to work with that are contracting a over in the Middle East and they sent him motorcycle videos. Okay, no big deal. So we sat down for breakfast, dinner, whatever meal that was at one in the morning. And I took his phone, and his password is my birthday. And so I looked at the message, and it was, in fact, just a motorcycle video. But he had another message that was kind of suspicious, and I asked him about it.
And he just had some excuse for, oh, yeah, that's a girl that I knew from high school or whatever. And then I, I don't know why I did this, but I looked at his text messages and one of the first messages that he had was a picture that he had sent himself. And so I opened that and that's where I found the picture. I did have a chance to talk to him about it the next day because right then I was absolutely shocked. I didn't see anything about it. He saw you open the picture? No, he saw me open the messages, but he didn't see me open the text message thread the picture. Okay. I just exit out of everything, put the phone down, flip it back over to him. And we ate breakfast in almost silence.
So how'd your conversation with him go? Um, to start with, Hey, uh, stepdad, what the, like, how did it start?
So, um, I tried to not be overly emotional about it. Why? I don't, I don't know. Um,
You know what? I retract that. Why is a terrible question to ask you, and I just put you on the defensive, and you don't need that right now. I'm sorry about that. That was a bad move on my part. Okay, so you're challenging him.
Yeah, and so I sat down with him, and I said, hey, I found something inappropriate on your phone that's concerning. And he was like, yeah, what did you see? And so I told him, well, I saw the picture that you sent to yourself. And he said, oh, yeah, well... Yeah. Yeah. You know, it was it's an app and I don't know, just playing around. I don't know.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What shocking discovery did Renee make about her stepdad?
0:05–0:22
2
How did Renee feel after finding the inappropriate photo?
0:22–10:20
3
What advice did John give Renee regarding her feelings?
10:20–35:24
4
What are the emotional challenges faced by Jay after his divorce?
35:24–43:40
5
How can Jay cope with the anger and separation from his children?
43:40–52:28
6
What strategies did John suggest for Jay to move forward?
52:28–1:01:53