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What is the importance of taking action now?
Don't wait for reality to reflect permission back to you. Like, oh, you can do this now because you're old enough. You can do this now because you're feeling good enough. Do the thing and through doing the thing, you embody her. You embody her now. Stop waiting.
Okay, so you know how amazing you feel when you're dressed exceptionally well? Like, I got a blowout the other day and my first thought was, I need to go to a nice restaurant. I need to be seen. I'm running all the errands today.
How can dressing up impact your confidence?
I want to film myself. I want to be seen. I want to do all this stuff. And... It's so crazy to me that we have almost vilified and made frivolous the act of dressing up when it is the single biggest fucking unlock a lot of the time to your own aliveness. Because living doesn't happen when you're just inside all the time. Living happens when you go out and when you feel good about yourself and you do things that feel amazing. You go and experience life.
Why is it essential to stop waiting for permission?
And when do you do that the most? When you feel fucking confident. I think a lot of the time women can shame away our desire for beauty, for getting dressed up, for doing things that make us feel amazing and hot. Like when you just admit and accept that you want to feel fucking hot, your life will change because then you can stop repressing this desire that you have. and actually do the things that make you feel good. There is nothing more alive and beautiful than a woman that accepts and owns all of her desires when she lets them turn her on, you know? You know how sometimes it's really hard for you to do the things that you know make you feel good? I never feel more alive than when I'm dancing. Oh, I love it.
Like when I'm dancing, I'm like, there she fucking is. There she fucking is. That's me.
What are the 'state shifters' that can improve your mood?
That's me, me. Like it's me. It's my purest, most beautiful, most sexy form of self-expression. Even if it's not perfect because it's me feeling sensual. It's me in my body. It's me taking up space. It's an act of taking up space. And I feel fucking amazing when I do it. And yet, how do I go weeks without dancing? How does that even happen? I will go months in winter. It's always in winter. And even though I'm in LA, I've had like an existential winter, right? Because it's so sunny here, but I still felt the winter when I went to my cocoon period. But how did I go months without dancing when I know it's the biggest unlock for me to feel good? Isn't that crazy? You can know all of the things that make you feel good.
Like getting a blow dry. I saw this girl made this reel recently and she was like, why is it that when I get a blow dry, I'm expecting Hollywood to call me any moment? Period.
How can you create habits that enhance your well-being?
That's why I'm like, oh my God, I feel so good. I look so good. I want to be everywhere. You know, doing the things that make you feel good, dancing, getting a blow out, calling a friend, going out. You know sometimes you go out with your friends or you have a chat with your mate when you're feeling like shit or you go to the gym and you really don't want to go and you come out of it and you're like, I feel... like god right now why did i almost skip this and it's this resistance inside of ourselves it's not even being lazy that's too easy it's too easy to just say oh it's because we're lazy and it's and it takes effort like it's a little bit of that obviously but i think it's hard because we think that we need to feel good in order to do those things
Right? I think I need to feel in the mood to dance before I dance. But dancing is the thing that's going to get me in the mood. Period. Dancing, getting the blowout, whatever it is, right? These are just my examples right now. Maybe your thing is going to the gym. Maybe it's going for that morning walk and you just sort of dread leaving the house, but you know that after it you feel amazing. Those things themselves are... the state shifters. They shift your state. Those are the things that tune you up. You don't do them when you feel good. You do them to feel good.
What role does agency play in personal empowerment?
You do those things to feel good. So if you've got some things in your life right now, you're like,
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the importance of taking action now?
0:00–1:25
2
How can dressing up impact your confidence?
1:25–2:08
3
Why is it essential to stop waiting for permission?
2:08–3:08
4
What are the 'state shifters' that can improve your mood?
3:08–4:11
5
How can you create habits that enhance your well-being?
4:11–5:46
6
What role does agency play in personal empowerment?
5:46–7:43
7
How can simple rituals boost your confidence?
7:43–9:15
8
Why is it crucial to start before you feel ready?
9:15–16:05