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Chapter 1: What is the importance of taking action now?
Don't wait for reality to reflect permission back to you. Like, oh, you can do this now because you're old enough. You can do this now because you're feeling good enough. Do the thing and through doing the thing, you embody her. You embody her now. Stop waiting. Okay, so you know how amazing you feel when you're dressed exceptionally well?
Like, I got a blowout the other day and my first thought was, I need to go to a nice restaurant. I need to be seen. I'm running all the errands today.
Chapter 2: How can dressing up impact your confidence?
I want to film myself. I want to be seen. I want to do all this stuff. And... It's so crazy to me that we have almost vilified and made frivolous the act of dressing up when it is the single biggest fucking unlock a lot of the time to your own aliveness. Because living doesn't happen when you're just inside all the time.
Living happens when you go out and when you feel good about yourself and you do things that feel amazing. You go and experience life.
Chapter 3: Why is it essential to stop waiting for permission?
And when do you do that the most? When you feel fucking confident. I think a lot of the time women can shame away our desire for beauty, for getting dressed up, for doing things that make us feel amazing and hot. Like when you just admit and accept that you want to feel fucking hot, your life will change because then you can stop repressing this desire that you have.
and actually do the things that make you feel good. There is nothing more alive and beautiful than a woman that accepts and owns all of her desires when she lets them turn her on, you know? You know how sometimes it's really hard for you to do the things that you know make you feel good? I never feel more alive than when I'm dancing. Oh, I love it.
Like when I'm dancing, I'm like, there she fucking is. There she fucking is. That's me.
Chapter 4: What are the 'state shifters' that can improve your mood?
That's me, me. Like it's me. It's my purest, most beautiful, most sexy form of self-expression. Even if it's not perfect because it's me feeling sensual. It's me in my body. It's me taking up space. It's an act of taking up space. And I feel fucking amazing when I do it. And yet, how do I go weeks without dancing? How does that even happen? I will go months in winter. It's always in winter.
And even though I'm in LA, I've had like an existential winter, right? Because it's so sunny here, but I still felt the winter when I went to my cocoon period. But how did I go months without dancing when I know it's the biggest unlock for me to feel good? Isn't that crazy? You can know all of the things that make you feel good.
Like getting a blow dry. I saw this girl made this reel recently and she was like, why is it that when I get a blow dry, I'm expecting Hollywood to call me any moment? Period.
Chapter 5: How can you create habits that enhance your well-being?
That's why I'm like, oh my God, I feel so good. I look so good. I want to be everywhere. You know, doing the things that make you feel good, dancing, getting a blow out, calling a friend, going out.
You know sometimes you go out with your friends or you have a chat with your mate when you're feeling like shit or you go to the gym and you really don't want to go and you come out of it and you're like, I feel...
like god right now why did i almost skip this and it's this resistance inside of ourselves it's not even being lazy that's too easy it's too easy to just say oh it's because we're lazy and it's and it takes effort like it's a little bit of that obviously but i think it's hard because we think that we need to feel good in order to do those things Right?
I think I need to feel in the mood to dance before I dance. But dancing is the thing that's going to get me in the mood. Period. Dancing, getting the blowout, whatever it is, right? These are just my examples right now. Maybe your thing is going to the gym. Maybe it's going for that morning walk and you just sort of dread leaving the house, but you know that after it you feel amazing.
Those things themselves are... the state shifters. They shift your state. Those are the things that tune you up. You don't do them when you feel good. You do them to feel good.
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Chapter 6: What role does agency play in personal empowerment?
You do those things to feel good. So if you've got some things in your life right now, you're like, I will post on social media when I feel good. I will go to nice places when I have the money. Just go and get a coffee, you know? We don't need to feel good in order to do the things that we need to do or the things that we want to do.
You can always get in this trap sometimes, I definitely do, where you delay living your life and you can always treat it like this perpetual waiting room where you wait for the money, the this or the that, or the good weather, whatever it is, whatever thing that you are looking to your external environment to shift before you feel the thing. You need to remember your own fucking agency.
Agency, it's agency. You need to feel your own agency and remind yourself that you have agency by doing the thing to make you feel good. By making that cup of tea in the morning, by going for that walk, by reading a book that opens your brain up to another perspective on the situation that's been rattling in your brain for ages.
You need to reach for these things as the tools that bolster your energy, that boost your confidence and make you feel fucking amazing. You can't, those are the state shifters. Those things get you in the mood. And the funny thing is, is like, I've literally spoke about this so many times before, and yet it's so easy to just forget.
It's so easy to forget that the things that make you feel good in life, you can't wait for them You can't wait to be in the mood to dance. Dancing is the thing that gets you in the mood. I need to be surrounded by pink things, right? I've said this so many times.
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Chapter 7: How can simple rituals boost your confidence?
And I think something about being surrounded by beautiful pink things is it reminds me that I am the architect of my environment. I don't like to do anything by default. I like to see myself as the architect of my defaults. Right, so if my defaults are the things I just sort of do on habit, then I want to be the fucking architect of those defaults. It's like habit formation 101.
If you've never read Atomic Habits by James Clear, it's one of the best books that I've ever read in my life. I read it about six years ago. You can design your defaults. You can design your system so that, you know what I said, these things are state shifters. You almost need to incorporate them in your life. Otherwise you will derail
So for me, I have my workout days, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, non-negotiable, whatever's happening in my life, that is getting done. So I don't even need to think about, oh, by the end of the week, will I feel shit because I didn't have a workout and I didn't move my body the way I want to? No, it's happening Monday, Wednesday, Friday. It's decided for me, right? It's just done.
It's getting done on those days. And the same thing needs to happen with... Beauty rituals, if that's what makes you feel confident enough to go to nice places, if it shifts your state and it makes you feel amazing. And going to nice places is important because you want to network for your job or you like how you feel in nice places.
Chapter 8: Why is it crucial to start before you feel ready?
Whatever. I don't give a shit. You don't need to justify any of your desires. But we can't wait to be in the mood. We create the mood capable of doing big and brave things through the rituals that tune us. Like a guitar needs tuning. You can tune yourself into that state. And it's that frequency.
And you know, every time I go to record a new podcast episode, I don't know if I'm going to be able to do this again. I don't know. I never know what I'm going to say. I never... It's like a big exercise in self-trust. If I waited until the perfect moment to record a podcast episode, I wouldn't have a podcast, okay? So I created this show last year. The vision I have for this podcast is enormous.
I also want to have guests on at some point. But based on how my previous podcast used to make me feel... when I had guests on and I was being scheduled, it felt like I had a job that I was clocking in for, rather than this beautiful flowy broadcasting thing that I'm doing now, where I'm just in my room sharing my thoughts with you. It didn't feel like that, that juicy flow,
When I was doing it with the production company and I had guests. So I've just decided, fuck it, I'm going to create the Florence Givens show. I'm going to record it from my bedroom. And once I'm in an established flow with my podcast, then I'll have guests on. Once I've established my own voice and even decided what I want this show to embody, you know?
But if I waited, because the vision I have for the show is massive. Like I want to do, I want to be driving around LA interviewing guests. I want to have a beautiful studio where I can invite people in and we can just talk about philosophy and talk about life and talk about the world and talk about all these beautiful themes, you know.
I've never wanted to be an interviewer, but I wanted to have conversations. I want to interview fucking amazing people that I'm obsessed with. And I want to chat with them about things and about life. I don't want it to be this like, I don't want to be a host. I want it to be an exchange of ideas and information. And I want us to flesh out truths together.
You know, I have a big vision for this show where I invite people that I think are amazing and that can bring value to my audience, to you and to your life as well. But if I'd waited... to have all of those elements lined up and ready, then I wouldn't have this beautiful show where I get to share myself with you. I wouldn't already have listeners. I wouldn't have a growing YouTube platform.
I wouldn't have had all of these things. And I'm so proud of myself that I didn't wait. I recorded all of my first podcast episodes in the hotel that I was living in, in LA. And I remember there were so many moments where I was like, can I do this? Can I do this? There's no audience yet. I recorded all of those episodes without an audience. And it was so hard. There were so many little things.
Maybe there's a guy with the leaf blower outside and I pause and stop the episode. But I'm so glad I didn't wait because if I'd waited, I would not have this beautiful show. I would not have all of you listening to me right now. And this show has given me so much more confidence in my own voice because I've not ever been able to talk on social media for this long. And so if I'd waited...
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