How To Never Feel Stressed Again | Spotify Video Exclusive
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How can changing your perspective reduce stress?
If people have to treat you a certain way for you to be happy, then it means that your happiness is in their hands. I get asked about mindset a lot on podcasts. They're like, when you're building a business or you're building your career, there are stressors that come into play.
How we manage the circumstances or the conditions that come to us dictates how our life turns out. Everybody has bad stuff happen. You probably believed and nodded your head like, yeah, everyone has stuff happen. and then we choose to make it bad or good. Imagine for a second, two children that are playing.
One child tells the other child, your nose is really big, or you're fat. Interesting is that the child who hears it is unaffected, and the child who says it is unaffected. They're like, you're fat, and he's like, huh parent comes in and overhears it and she's like oh my god takes the child that was called fat comforts them gives them the expectation that they should be upset and then tells the other one that that was bad and in a moment there was something that is now traumatic that otherwise wouldn't have been and so when we're kids we walk into the world with no meaning all we do is we observe and then whatever the adults around us tell us and say this means that we take as fact and And it's not true.
It's their interpretation of the world and we inherit them. And then we spend the rest of our life trying to undo and examine these beliefs that we have been told by people that we probably don't agree with.
What tools can help recalibrate our emotional responses?
When something bothers you, pull it out and look at it and say, what happened and why is this bad? And what would it look like if it were good? And so the two tools that I use are time and volume. The volume example is thinking, okay, I'm in traffic. If this happened every day, would I be upset? If it happened every day, I'd probably expect it, which means that I would not be upset about it because it's just how things always are. If you want to make it positive, you say, well, what if every time I got in a car, normally it would take an hour? And today it took 30. I'd be pretty excited about it. And so all we did is just change the volume on the circumstance to recalibrate the meaning that we're choosing to ascribe to it, good or bad.
I like to think of circumstances a lot like weather, which is like you've got sunny days and you've got rainy days. And the problem, in my opinion, is that people, any day that rains, they say is bad. And any day that's sunny, they say is good. When in reality, it just is.
How does viewing circumstances like weather affect our mindset?
It's just the weather. Contrast is what create the quote good and bad. if it's below, then what we can do is artificially move the line in our minds by saying, whatever this circumstance is, what would it look like if it were worse? And what would it look like if it were worse all the time? And if so, then maybe today's a good thing. The second frame that I like to use is time. 100 years out, but 10,000 years out, how much is this going to matter? The reason something affects you is because you have deemed it meaningful. You've said it matters. It's my worldview that nothing matters with a capital M, like nothing matters. in the universe, it doesn't matter. There's this statue of a head that's in the sands of Egypt, and it's bigger than this whole room.
And it's just the head, and it's worn out, and then inscripted along the forehead, it says, here lies, crazy name, who owned everything that the eye could see, the immortal so-and-so. And the only thing that was left was a worn out statue head that no one knew who he was, and it was 5,000 years old. If that guy who ruled the known world, to him, wealth probably mattered, right?
What is the significance of time in managing stress?
But does it matter? No, probably not. I've relieved a lot of the pressure in my life so that I could make better decisions by zooming way out and thinking 10,000 years from now, will this matter? And if the answer is no... Does it matter to me? And then if I can make the decision of like good or bad based on my new context that I created, then I can live a life a lot easier.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
How can changing your perspective reduce stress?
0:00–1:16
2
What tools can help recalibrate our emotional responses?
1:16–2:10
3
How does viewing circumstances like weather affect our mindset?
2:10–3:13
4
What is the significance of time in managing stress?
3:13–3:45
5
How can we find gratitude in difficult situations?
3:45–4:28
6
What practical steps can we take to control our emotions?
4:28–4:37