In this episode of the Grounded Union Podcast, we dive deep into the signs that your spouse is lying to you. Brandon and Caitlyn break down why dishonesty destroys intimacy, the importance of listening to your intuition, and how defensiveness, blame-shifting, staying busy, and living a double life are major red flags. They share why radical honesty is the only path to real connection and how to move from numbness to curiosity in your healing journey. If you suspect something is off but keep getting shut down, minimized, or deflected, this episode will give you clarity, language, and the courage to seek the truth.Our 2026 Grounded Union 2-Day Workshop:📍San Diego, CA — In-person & virtual📅 August 14th & 15th, 2026Workshop for Couples: Tap here to grab your ticketLooking for immediate support in your marriage?The Marriage Crisis Roadmap: Download the free guide here!Grounded Union Couples App: Tap here to applySave Your Marriage Webinar: Tap here to get lifetime accessJoin the waitlist for the launch of my first book here.If this episode resonated with you, we'd love to hear from you! Leave a written review, take a screenshot, and email it to [email protected] — and we'll send you an exclusive unreleased episode on Intimacy After Betrayal.Follow us on social: @brandontalksmarriage, @caitlyn_doerksen & @groundedunionYouTube Show available hereWhat we discussed:00:00:26 – Intro: The episode opens by reframing lying not just as a moral failure but as the thing that keeps both partners from ever experiencing the intimacy, fulfillment, and connection they actually want.00:03:53 – The Mind Games of "I'm Not Lying": Omitting details, swapping definitions, keeping secrets — all the ways people convince themselves they're not technically lying.00:05:24 – The Power of Female Intuition: Why the betrayed spouse almost always senses something is off.00:08:14 – Intuition vs. Accusation: Why "my wife accuses me of things I didn't do" misses the point, and if trust has deteriorated that far, the wrong details aren't the issue.00:11:18 – The Pastor at the Maui Intensive: The story of a man who swore he didn't sleep with her and how he came forward the next day with what he'd been hiding. 00:15:26 – Defensiveness Is a Red Flag: You are only defensive about something you're trying to protect, and your hidden secrets always reveal themselves in how you respond when pressed.00:17:55 – The Double Life: How addiction, approval-seeking, and denial create two completely different versions of a person.00:26:37 – Why the Details Matter: Brandon shares what it felt like to finally come clean and realize he'd never known what living from his authentic self felt like.00:30:32 – Seeing the Details Is Part of Healing: Knowing the full story isn't a confession session — it's both spouses finally tracing the patterns and understanding how they got here.00:33:14 – Massive Screen Time: Why phone dependency and dissociation go hand in hand with dishonesty and why lying about screen use signals something larger.00:42:07 – Staying Busy and Blame-Shifting: Why chronic busyness is a strategy to avoid questions; blame-shifting language "it just happened to me" is one of the most reliable tells that a spouse is still hiding.00:45:00 – Why Disclosures and Polygraphs Aren't Enough: Caitlyn asserts that no therapeutic milestone matters if the spouse continues to act out through disconnection or screen addiction.00:46:53 – Experiencing True Brokenness: The story of a man at the Maui intensive who finally wept as the full weight of his lies landed.00:49:03 – Redefining Connected Union: Caitlyn rejects the low cultural bar for marriage — separate rooms, multiple screens — and champions genuine joy and intimacy.

Ask this episode

“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

Transcript

Related