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The Hauraki Breakfast Podcast

📻Balclutha - The Radio Show

25 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.031 - 11.365 Unknown

The Hauraki Breakfast. Get set for winter with Budding's Trade. Jerry's away this week, so joining Minaya on the Hauraki Breakfast is the great New Zealander, Ben Hurley.

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11.806 - 15.751 Jeremy Wells

Good morning, welcome into the show for a Tuesday. It's Tuesday the 26th of May.

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Chapter 2: Who is Ben Hurley and what role does he play in this episode?

15.771 - 36.469 Jeremy Wells

Minaya in, as you just heard, alongside Ben Hurley. Morning, Hurley. That is me, hello. How did you get on this morning with the alarm? Is it testing you this morning or were you fine? Let me tell you what I did this morning, five minutes later than yesterday. Yeah. Snoozed it? No, no, I just thought, I was here a bit early. I was here before you yesterday. Yeah, you were. Yeah.

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36.489 - 40.896 Jeremy Wells

That's not hard to do. I'm not going to do that. Unless our boss is listening, in which case I was here at 3.30 in the morning.

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Chapter 3: What are some hilarious morning alarm stories shared by the hosts?

40.936 - 60.246 Jeremy Wells

People always ask you when they find out that you work on Breakfast Radio, they go, oh, jeez, what time does your alarm go off? And I go, depends who's asking. Yeah. If the boss is asking about 3, 3.30, I'm in here at about 4. If anyone else is asking, about 5.00. Is that the question you get the most in your life about anything? What's Jeremy Wells actually like? Oh, is that the most?

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60.266 - 77.97 Jeremy Wells

Because I think people can tell. Like, he seems like a nice guy on TV, but behind closed doors. We all know what he's like behind closed doors. Horribly abusive. I often get asked... Ruda's allowed to talk because he's away, by the way. Oh, there we go. He would normally slap me on my wrist, on my left wrist. Yeah, I often get asked, is Jeremy Wells a bit of a dick? Yeah.

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78.191 - 99.033 Jeremy Wells

Not what's he like, is he a bit of a dick? Yeah, people can tell, I think. I think people can tell. Anyway, yeah, he's away this week. Jerry is filming, I think we can say it. What do I care? Taskmaster. Yeah. That's why he's away off. Series six, maybe? Seven Sharp as well. They're getting through a fair few of them now, aren't they? They are, yeah. And I think does pretty well overseas.

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99.053 - 115.257 Jeremy Wells

There's a Taskmaster community and they just want to watch Sweden, Denmark. It's crazy. Yeah. It's ridiculous. I don't know if they got Jerry for the first season or two. I get messages from all over the world. And, you know, I was only on it once. Yeah, same here, but I wasn't even on it.

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115.277 - 120.91 Unknown

It was Pax Asati.

122.678 - 143.076 Jeremy Wells

Sad news last night. You will have seen it all over social media, all on the news as well. Dame Jules Topp, 68, one-half legendary New Zealand folk duo, the Topp Twins, has passed away peacefully at home on Saturday with her twin sister Linda, brother Bruce, and close friends and pets by her side. She had breast cancer for about 20 years, having been first diagnosed back in 2006.

143.737 - 153.808 Jeremy Wells

In a joint statement shared on the Topp Twins Facebook page, the Topp family said Dame Jules was a true warrior woman, Dame Linda Topp. has shared her twin sister's final message of thanks to Kiwis.

154.108 - 174.96 Manaia Stewart

If you get a chance, Linda, could you thank New Zealand for me? And so right now in New Zealand, I'd just like to thank you for being there for us for over 40 years. We couldn't have done it without you. You made us who we are. You made us the Top of Twins.

175.598 - 200.762 Jeremy Wells

Wow. I don't know how I feel about the bed. Should we just lose the bed while we're mourning the Great Dame? What's going on? Dame Jules, an absolute legend, doesn't seem to even cover it. Because you would have known her, wouldn't you? Yeah, I met her a number of times. And a really lovely and generous person. And obviously funny as all hell.

Chapter 4: What tribute is paid to Dame Jules Topp and her legacy?

387.808 - 409.898 Jeremy Wells

I was like, oh yeah, he's a Maori or Pacifica man. Right. Must be Pipe. And I said, just checking the pronunciation of your last name, bro. And he goes... Pipe. Don't ever think it. It's Dwayne Pipe. I was like, oh, Dwayne Pipe. I get it. It's a little pun there. Dwayne Pipe. Dwayne Pipe, yeah. And his act was that he had a piece of pipe. Yeah.

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409.918 - 439.847 Jeremy Wells

And he did impressions through the pipe of like Darth Vader and stuff. Oh, really? Yeah. So if he put the pipe up to the mic and he went... It gave a kind of echoing effect. Was it good? Yeah. So, I've not seen Dwayne Pepe on the scene since. No, he might have lost his pipe. Did he have any collective soul in his routine? I actually can't remember what else he did.

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440.008 - 466.078 Jeremy Wells

I definitely remember the Darth Vader, but he had three or four. I don't remember a, yeah. Did he do a Dalek from Doctor Who? I feel like it would work quite well. C-3PO? I mean, I feel like there was only one Star Wars in there. Yeah, right. All right. No job at the hut. Shout out Dwayne Pipe if you're out there. Give us a call. We'd love to hear from you.

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466.519 - 482.457 Jeremy Wells

Only if you've got the pipe, though, otherwise I don't want to hear from you. No. Coming up next, if you'll indulge me, yesterday I told a story about a 100-man punch-up in Balclutha. I've got a part two to that story. If you found part one boring, this next one's going to put you to sleep. Everyone likes a 100-man brawl. Yeah, they do.

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484.917 - 486.559 Unknown

The Hauraki Breakfast.

486.599 - 509.642 Jeremy Wells

Yesterday, fellas, we were talking about your tour of the south. Hurley, you ended up down there in Balclutha. Yeah. Let me tell you about Balclutha's community centre. Please. It's a multi-million dollar building. Oh, really? It costs a lot of money. Right next to, I'm going to say, the best bridge in New Zealand. Yeah, one of the greats down there. What is it? It's a sort of six-humper?

509.622 - 529.32 Jeremy Wells

Yeah, so the Auckland Harbour Bridge is just a one-humper. Yeah, it is a one-humper, yep. But this has six humps. Yeah, it's sort of similar to something you might see, you know, Hamilton's got a couple of these humpers. Yeah, yeah. But not quite, they're more high humpers and quite compact. But Auckland Harbour Bridge is just a, you know, Timu copy of the Sydney Harbour Bridge, right? Yeah.

529.34 - 548.281 Jeremy Wells

And this Balclutha Bridge, the six-humper, I feel like it's seven now I'm saying this. Anyway, we'll check it out. Reach out, Balclutha. Yeah, tell us how many humps you've got on your bridge. It's very, you know, iconic. It's very theirs. Yeah, 100%. Well, yeah, they had no one to rip off because they're so isolated.

548.762 - 571.534 Jeremy Wells

I mentioned yesterday that when I was a kid, one of my main memories of Belclutha was that we were on a family holiday, my mum and I, to the Catlins and the car broke down. I must have been about maybe 10, 11. What time of year are we talking here? Well, you would think summer, wouldn't you? My memory of it is it was a winter, although summer's down there and winter's up there.

Chapter 5: What interesting anecdotes emerge from the discussion about Balclutha?

1504.418 - 1510.372 Jeremy Wells

I'm taller than Susie Kato. The messages have come through thick and fast on social media. Jeff has written, no.

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1510.733 - 1510.913 Unknown

Right.

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1511.735 - 1515.143 Jeremy Wells

In response to our question, are you taller than Stephen Adams? Hayden has written, I am not.

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1515.524 - 1515.744 Unknown

Okay.

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1516.125 - 1545.265 Jeremy Wells

Bex? Okay. Nope. Con Smith, no. Also, 6'11", two separate measurements. Haha, nice one. Got him. Alex Pledger, the New Zealand Breaker, is officially the tallest man in the Southern Hemisphere at 7.1 feet, according to Blake. And Fergus said, when I had Hinge or Tinder, yes. Ah, yes. So men traditionally lie about their height on dating apps, don't they, to try and make them seem taller. Yes.

1545.445 - 1568.644 Jeremy Wells

Everybody's got to be 6'0". yeah basically to to get a date i think i think the one what they do is they go six one because if you go six foot yeah then it's obvious that you're lying i'm genuinely six foot i'm somewhere between six foot and six foot one oh i'm genuinely six one as well ben that's um quite a bit taller than you I know somebody who lies about it the other way.

1568.904 - 1569.185 Unknown

Really?

1569.425 - 1569.706 Jeremy Wells

Yes.

1570.747 - 1574.795 Unknown

You just joined us.

Chapter 6: How does the conversation shift to sports and current events?

2150.505 - 2172.053 Jeremy Wells

2016 was the Rio Olympics in Brazil. The Blackcaps are playing Ireland, by the way, Geoff, tonight. You were right about Jenny Shipley. Unlucky. Tough. Tough for Blue Mountain College. It is tough for Blue Mountain College, but that means that Harawira College gets a chance at a $100 Bunnings voucher tomorrow morning. Harawira High School? Harawira High School.

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2172.073 - 2184.857 Jeremy Wells

It's actually got a different name now. It rebranded, and I can never remember what it's called. But yes, it was Harawira High School for, I don't know, 100 years. Yeah, and $100 from Bunnings up for grabs tomorrow. If you're from that high school, give us a call tomorrow.

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2187.52 - 2188.881 Unknown

The Hauraki Breakfast.

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2188.982 - 2211.326 Jeremy Wells

Lame claims to fame. No claim is too lame, and they're coming through thick and fast on the text machine. Also overnight on socials as well. But Hurley, since you're here, mate, you have your own lame claim to fame. Yeah, I've got a pretty good one. Now, I need to set this up with the context that I have a strict no talking at the urinal policy. Yes, I adhere to that same policy. Okay.

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2211.486 - 2213.608 Jeremy Wells

Rooted, flagrant, flagrant.

2213.789 - 2214.69 Manaia Stewart

Oh, he did it just before.

2214.73 - 2232.782 Jeremy Wells

I started doing it to you earlier this morning, Ben. Yep. He's also eye contact at the urinal operator. I don't know if that's true. That's better than the alternative. He's a walk into the bathroom and he's already staring at the door waiting for you to walk in at the urinal operator. Phone in one hand. Some may say it's considerate.

2232.762 - 2255.061 Jeremy Wells

Now, I, through some friends of mine that are much more famous than me when I was in the UK, got as someone's plus one to the Q Awards. Remember the magazine, the Q magazine? Oh, yes. Music magazine. So they had their own awards. I think that's defunct now. But yeah, it was like an attempt to be the NME or whatever. Right. And I was at the Q Awards. Loads of famous people there.

2255.101 - 2255.281 Manaia Stewart

Yeah.

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