π» Is Jeremy Wells Weird? FULL RADIO SHOW
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What is the opening banter and intro for the Hauraki Breakfast show?
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Oh no, not again. Jerry and Manai. Please. The Hauraki Breakfast.
Welcome along to the Hauraki Breakfast. Yes, it's happened. Manara heard it in the news there. We have changed existential crises. Yes. We've moved on from the climate crisis that is no longer the existential crisis that is facing the humanity. Okay. It's AI.
Because that's going to happen first, is it? It's AI. How soon?
A
couple of years, we're all gone.
Yeah, I think so. I think they'll be looking towards the next. I think the next five years is going to be all about how that's going to kill humans.
Okay. So do I have to keep recycling then? Or can I just chuck it all in the same bin? Good question. Can I go back to spray on deodorant, please? Can I throw styrofoam burger holders from my resort straight out into the ocean where a turtle will eat them?
Good news. We're going to be back to plastic shopping bags.
Plastic shopping, can I have a straw, please? Yep.
Can I
have a straw?
It's going to be, if you need to go to the supermarket all of a sudden, and you didn't take a bag with you from home, you're going to be able to grab one of those things at the
supermarket. Great. You can chuck your kids lunch in a plastic bag so it doesn't ruin their backpack when they forget about it and stand on it. It's got a banana and a pot of yogurt. Totally. Dirty rugby boots.
Dirty rugby boots. Whip them in an old shopping bag. Wheat undies. Yeah.
Where do you put those these days? Yeah, you can go to the beach with one of those
bags.
Do you know who's suffered the worst out of the climate change crisis? It's the great sport of Nepal because they have had the boomsticks taken off them. Remember the boomsticks, dude? They took the boomsticks off them because when they ban plastic straws, that's how you blow the boomsticks up. So they had to ban the bloody boomsticks. Don't get me started on a tinsel wig.
Yes, that did some work. The problem with netball was being a netball fan was very unsustainable. It's an unsustainable sport. Yeah, that's
right. And it didn't align with their values. Well, now that Terminator's coming to get us, it
doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter. Straws are back.
Give us a call now. 0800 HODAKI, 0800 428 725. If you want to take the kickoff, Minaya will suggest a song. I'll suggest a song. You can decide which song starts the show off.
Yes, I want some fat fretties this morning. I'm moving pretty slowly. Bit of 10 feet tall. Ease me into a Wednesday morning, please.
And I'd like to ease things in as well this morning with Tonight Tonight. It is the morning, I understand, but Tonight Tonight by the Smazzing Pazzers. Smazzing Pazzers? The Smazzing Pazzers. Let's go to Nick from Christchurch who's going to decide which song we kick the show off with. Morning, Nick. Kia ora fellas. How are you? Would you like to go with the Smazza Pazzas or Fat Freddies to kick things off? Oh, it's tough. I do like Fat Freddies but Smazing Pazzas, mate. The Smazing Pazzas.
The
Smazing Pazzas it is. Good on you, Nick. Thank you very much for calling and thanks very much for listening to the Hariki Breakfast. Have a lovely day. Thanks, fellas.
to get into it. Might be the last time we get to enjoy this song before the robots get us.
Did you see how it's just tipped over though? Yeah, yeah. No one
cares at all about the climate.
No one's talking about
that
anymore.
Sorry, Leo DiCaprio, but no one could care less.
Jerry and Minaya, the Hauraki breakfast.
Bet you're looking forward to a sleep tonight, Minaya. All the dreams that you've been having recently.
Yes. Not just me, though. Somebody else text through this morning at 5.29, actually, Jerry. They've got a dream for us to interpret because, of course, you are the...
Ooh, dream reader.
Ooh.
So the text reads thusly. On the back of the Taskmaster's dream section last night, I'd like to share a dream I had about Minaya last night.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What is the opening banter and intro for the Hauraki Breakfast show?
0:01β55:08
2
What are llama and alpaca βguardβ programs and how do they protect sheep from foxes?
55:08β1:01:07
3
What is the story behind the Sweetβ―Caroline tradition at Fenway Park?
1:01:07β1:06:59
4
What happened in the βToeβNail Gateβ controversy with Louβ―Vincent and Kieranβ―Reid?
1:06:59β1:08:59
5
Is Jeremy Wells actually weird, and why does he keep asking that?
1:08:59β1:12:35