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The Hauraki Breakfast Podcast

📻Perfect Athlete - The Radio Show

04 Jun 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.031 - 3.175 Jeremy Wells

The Hodaki Breakfast gets set for winter with Bunnings Trade.

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4.297 - 6.76 Jerry

Jerry and Mania, The Hodaki Breakfast.

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7.06 - 12.888 Jeremy Wells

Welcome along to The Hodaki Breakfast, Thursday the 4th of June, 2026. My name's Jeremy Wells, this is Mania Stewart.

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12.928 - 34.798 Unknown

Again, I find myself looking through the rundown and, um, look, coming up we'll tell you whether we won Lotto or not. Now, the fact that you're hearing the sound of our voices over your wireless radio right now is a clue as to whether we won Lotto or not. Um... Although, I would say, and me and the missus were discussing this last night, if you won Lotto, would you show up to work the next day?

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34.818 - 41.284 Unknown

I reckon until the money's in my account, I'm showing up. I'm exactly the same. I would definitely be turning up the next day.

41.344 - 42.765 Jeremy Wells

Yeah. Handy P. Yeah.

42.946 - 49.712 Unknown

In fact... Because I don't know how the payment system works. Like, what if that takes three months? You know, I can't withstand that. It does take time, I think.

49.792 - 65.806 Jeremy Wells

Yeah. But, yeah, the other thing is, unlike other people, I'm not telling a single person. God, no. I am not telling Tulsi, my partner. I'm not telling, certainly not telling my bloody children. Yeah, okay. With them, they're hands out.

66.146 - 68.208 Unknown

No way. We're talking proper wife-changing money.

Chapter 2: How did Jerry and Manaia create the perfect Kiwi athlete?

358.361 - 369.36 Unknown

That's a great point. But, you know, win someone in, I was going to say 10 world, but I suppose it'd never be just one, so it's the same diff, isn't it? Yeah. So do we go again next week? I mean, the... We've got to win next week.

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369.581 - 372.646 Jeremy Wells

We can't lose two weeks in a row. It's a great point. Surely.

0

372.866 - 380.059 Unknown

Am I paying next week again? Yep. And I can claim that back through NZME, right? Yes, they pay promptly. Yeah, okay, they're good.

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383.768 - 389.724 Jeremy Wells

I guess a tax on you licking your fingers at breakfast. Fair.

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Chapter 3: What attributes are being considered for the ultimate Kiwi athlete?

395.5 - 398.448 Unknown

Oh, the mic's still on. Sorry, yeah. I was going pretty hard there.

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398.468 - 402.227 Manaia Stewart

Oh, yeah. Jerry and Minaya. The Hauraki Breakfast.

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402.327 - 406.454 Jeremy Wells

You can get a hold of us anytime you like. 3483 is the number to text.

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406.474 - 419.737 Unknown

Let's text through. G'day, boys. My primary school principal won a lot of a few years ago. First thing he did was go to Lamborghini and ask for a car. They couldn't give him one, so he went to Ferrari that same day. Jerry, was that the same thing that happened to you?

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420.479 - 424.626 Jeremy Wells

So really, you need the car that day?

424.606 - 438.203 Unknown

I love that he's just like, I am having a Lamborghini or a Ferrari, and I'm having it today, thanks. And then he walked in, Lamborghini's like, man, not really how they work. I don't think you can just walk in off the street and just buy one. I think that's a bit of a process.

438.223 - 438.904 Jeremy Wells

You know what I mean?

438.924 - 441.487 Unknown

Yeah, because there's not that many of them, are there? It's not like buying a bloody loaf of bread.

441.667 - 445.332 Jeremy Wells

No, but also, do you want everyone to know exactly what's going on?

Chapter 4: What humorous anecdotes are shared about changing tires?

693.037 - 694.819 Unknown

I'd just get bored and read Wisden.

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694.96 - 696.803 Jeremy Wells

Yeah, nice. Oh, cool, man.

0
0

698.572 - 713.617 Jeremy Wells

The upsets continue at the French Tennis Open with the women's world number one out. Heartbroken. Irina Sabalenka has been beaten in the quarterfinals by Russian Diana Schneider.

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713.637 - 713.938 Unknown

Yeah.

714.579 - 738.902 Jeremy Wells

Duh. Schneider. And Hurricanes prop Tyrell Lomax has been determined to use a frustrating season to upskill as he prepares for just his third rugby game of 2026. Once he got his bloody forklift license. Ahead of tomorrow night's opening playoff match against the Brumbies, Lomax has dabbled In coaching his teammates in his time sideline with injuries and surgery. Oh, no, no, no.

738.922 - 740.744 Jeremy Wells

I thought he was going to say he's dabbled in, you know.

740.964 - 755.958 Unknown

Surgery. Something illegal. That's what I thought. Yeah, well, I thought he was going to say he's been dabbled in surgery. No, look, I think this is, they've put a quote through AI and it's come back with this because I think they would have asked him what he'd been doing. Oh, geez, I've been coaching the boys a bit. And they would have gone, he's dabbling in coaching.

756.198 - 773.142 Unknown

No, he's standing on the sidelines. You know, what else is he going to do? Something weird about it. But good on Tyrell. Yeah. Oh, it would have been a frustrating season. I mean, it's brutal being a prop. Anything goes wrong, you bloody... You're in a dark, dark place.

Chapter 5: How do Jerry's theories relate to everyday Kiwi life?

902.355 - 903.456 Unknown

Tiny fire? Yeah.

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903.476 - 919.03 Jeremy Wells

You've got to be careful there. You have to check in. Make sure you're up to date with your shots. So there have been 216 bear attacks so far this year, the deadliest on record, resulting in 238 injuries. So 216 attacks but 238 injuries?

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919.01 - 948.308 Unknown

is that multiple injuries on the same person multiple attacks surely you don't count like anyway so if you scratch my arm and then my other arm is that two injuries in the same attack I would have thought it's just injuries or has one beer seen a picnic and gone and attacked like multiple people that's what's happened if I attacked both of you guys now it's one attack but two injuries yes or if you lick your fingers at the cafe and gross everyone out that's one instance of licking but 14 instances of being grossed out do they run picnics in Japan

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949.25 - 958.988 Jeremy Wells

I don't know. Never seen a Japanese picnic. 13 fatalities, though. 13. Damn. 13, that's a lot. It is a lot. And there was one that happened just the other day.

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959.008 - 979.999 Unknown

CCTV has captured the moment a bear chased after a worker outside a factory in Japan's Fukushima. The man is seen walking down a path before the bear begins to chase and leaps at him. Three other people were injured as the animal wandered through the residential area, sparking a huge response from emergency services who still haven't been able to track it down. Exactly.

979.979 - 987.506 Jeremy Wells

Have you seen Japanese emergency services before? They are the best dressed. Are they cute? They are so well dressed.

987.526 - 1003.802 Unknown

I imagine them to be real cute. They are useless. Also, Fukushima, that's where the nuclear reactor melted down after the tsunami. So we're looking at radioactive beers in your backyard. I mean, that is a nightmare. There's a bunch of text coming through on 3483. Were they full-strength beers or light beers? Japan also has monkeys.

1004.202 - 1007.505 Unknown

And someone else said, yeah, you can even get them in a vending machine in Japan. Is that right?

1008.582 - 1014.137 Manaia Stewart

So Mrs Ruta's having some health and safety issues, Ruta.

Chapter 6: What are the most memorable moments from the podcast?

1051.306 - 1055.797 Jeremy Wells

Not Ken Ring? God bless. R.I.P.? Who's Len Ring? Dead or alive? Len Ring.

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1056.379 - 1060.429 Unknown

Made love to Len Brown in the Ngāti Whātua ring. Different Len?

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1060.83 - 1066.965 Jeremy Wells

Different Len Ring. And why was Len Ring telling us not to use our back like a crane? Was he some kind of back expert?

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1066.985 - 1071.993 Unknown

Do I have a memory of Precious McKenzie telling me how to lift a fridge at some point? Is there something like that?

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1072.213 - 1081.148 Jeremy Wells

It loomed largely in ring, though. There was an ad campaign, don't use your back like a crane, and bend your knees.

1081.128 - 1081.989 Unknown

Bend your knees.

1082.009 - 1084.852 Jeremy Wells

And then at the end you go, don't use your back like a crane! That's right.

1084.872 - 1106.055 Unknown

And they yell at you. Stuck with you, didn't it? Oh, I've certainly been. Shocked you into it. So this is something that happens in a lot of jobs. And take it from someone who's had a lot of jobs. I've been put through the wringer for... Some jobs you've got to spend like half a day learning two-man lifts on a box and then bend this over. I've got to...

1106.035 - 1127.679 Unknown

Through lockdown, I managed a warehouse where we were, like, picking and packing orders, driving forklifts, that kind of thing. Wasn't too strenuous, but in the physical, we had to do a drug test. Skated through that. Did you? But then they were also doing, like... They put a medicine ball against the wall. I had to put my back to it and I had to squat.

Chapter 7: What are Jerry's thoughts on the upcoming radio awards?

1200.116 - 1214.557 Jeremy Wells

So one leg. Yeah, on one leg. You have to lean on something, though. Because I couldn't do that. Well, because apparently that helps keep your back straight. Well. I'd topple over. I mean, what's worse, having a fall or bending your bloody back a bit, like Len Ring told you not to do?

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1214.657 - 1216.099 Unknown

It's PC gone mad. I don't get it.

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1216.5 - 1220.807 Jeremy Wells

Wow. And is it someone's job to train someone on this crap? This is the problem.

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1220.827 - 1222.95 Unknown

Yes, and so they need to protect their job.

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1222.97 - 1223.951 Jeremy Wells

Oh, my God.

1223.971 - 1226.936 Unknown

They need to fill six hours, so they're like, all right, we're going to teach you this.

1226.956 - 1231.783 Jeremy Wells

Surely that's the first person to lose their job in AI, the health and safety person. Yeah.

1231.803 - 1240.514 Unknown

Surely. You don't need to teach robots health and safety. No. I will say that's how I pick my drink bottle up at the gym when I go quite often. You have to be careful on your legs there.

1241.495 - 1242.916 Jeremy Wells

Okay. No, actually, I do too.

Chapter 8: How does the episode conclude with listener engagement?

1525.952 - 1526.833 Unknown

Yeah, still.

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1526.993 - 1534.784 Jeremy Wells

But better than Bowdoin Barrett's, would you say? I mean, Bowdoin Barrett, that thing is not going, that's not receding. In fact, Bowdoin Barrett's hairline is growing.

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1535.024 - 1546.099 Unknown

Oh, it's going to, yeah, it's on a collision course with his eyebrows. Strong genetics. I went with Tamari Martin's eyes. Someone sticks through straight away, Joey Wheeler's laugh. Oh, it's a good laugh, man. That's a great laugh.

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1546.299 - 1562.045 Jeremy Wells

It's a good laugh. Would you take his voice overall? Probably not. Probably not. I mean, it's a great voice. It's iconic. I'll describe it as iconic. But I imagine that after a three-day bender, there wouldn't be much left of it.

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1562.065 - 1565.049 Unknown

There isn't. Scott Barrett Snagg writes this text.

1565.37 - 1570.417 Jeremy Wells

There's been about four texts in on 3483 about Scott Barrett Snagg.

1570.437 - 1575.805 Unknown

Yep. Will you accept, and I'm just going to read it verbatim, Buck Shelford's ball sack. Will you accept that?

1576.24 - 1591.299 Jeremy Wells

It's a – well, what do we know about Buck Shelford's ball sack? That's the question. What we know is it's – It played on? It did play on, but, I mean, it's easily – it's terrible, isn't it? It's terrible. It's not as tough as the rest of Buck Shelford. That's what I'm saying.

1591.319 - 1596.325 Unknown

It's been through a lot, and sometimes that's what you want in a body part. It's terrible?

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