How do I get good in bed?
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Is the clitoris real and where is it located?
Is the clitoris real? Where is it? I'm not joking. And I'm sure many, many people have the same question. Clitoris is real. It's not Santa Claus.
It's an actual thing. The hookup with Hannah Riley. Love and honey eye. On Triple J.
Warning Sex and Adult Thames. I'm joined by Cindy Darnell. She's a sex and relationships therapist and educator. And we're doing a bit of a crash course in pleasure. How you can get better at doing it. Cindy, so good to have you with us.
Oh, it's great to be here.
Happy Sunday night. Now let's let's take a trip downstairs. In your video series, The Atlas of Erotic Anatomy and Arousal. You take a close look at the vagina, the penis, the anus, you know, all the good stuff.
Yeah.
Let's start with the vagina. You've actually brought in a puppet. Could you just quickly describe?
Okay. So um in the Atlas we do talk about the vagina, but th it's important to remember that vagina is only one part of the broader anatomy, which is actually the vulva which encompasses the lips and the clitoris. And the urethra and the G Spot and all of the all the yummy stuff. That's all the vulva. So the vulva is a vulva puppet and it's made out of um velvet and satin.
Who is Cyndi Darnell and what will she teach about pleasure?
And it's actually one of my most popular teaching tools because it really helps demystify a part of the body that even for people who own a bit of the body that looks like this is often very mysterious because for a lot of us who have this kind of anatomy we don't get to see it. Yeah, and it's a very difficult mirror to have a look Yeah, that's a good idea.
at it. It's got to be incredibly flexible. Well, let's get right into that teaching with um some texts that we've received. Matt from St Kilda asks, What's the correct way to rub/slash touch the clitoris? Porn simply shows rubbing in circles, but I've also heard people saying that that's incorrect and painful. Any tips or info? Okay.
To do is ask the person who owns the clitoris. Always. Best rule of thumb. Ask the owner of the clitoris. Because some are more sensitive than others, some are bigger than others, in the same way that not all penises like being touched and stroked the same way, not even on the same person in the same way necessarily. Some days are more sensitive than others. The same applies to clitorises. So always the rule of thumb is how do you like it? Um and starting with questions that are you know, what we call the W H question. So how, when you know, where that kind of stuff is more helpful than is this good because uh is this good really only gives us one answer well two answers, yes or no. Um and if it is good we don't know exactly which bit is good.
So it's helpful to have a bit of a dialogue. Now I know some people feel a bit awkward about that. They don't want to be talking about it too much. Um so if that is the case, if folks are just really, really uncomfortable talking about it, it what can be helpful then is to start slow and try and gauge responses from how they're moving, how she's breathing, what sort of sounds she's making, um, noticing if there's lubrication present, noticing just b actually you know paring your awareness down to more subtle things. If communication, verbal communication's not appropriate or you don't you don't or you can't or for whatever reason it's not happening, um all you've got left is um your sort of your your gut responses and your vision and you know your hopefully your respect.
So it's really, really important to be able to check in with that kind of stuff. Now If you're wanting really sort of practical things Circles are actually great. And the reason that circles are great is because if so you're using the flat of your hand as opposed to just one finger, using the flat of your hand means you're gonna get a broader, wider surface area and it's less likely that you're gonna fall off the target. So if you're really not sure, starting with a flat hand or even three fingers together in like a you know, like a salute kind of gesture. Like a scalp. Full. Yeah, they didn't teach you that at Scouts, did they? They should have been.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Is the clitoris real and where is it located?
0:00–1:27
2
Who is Cyndi Darnell and what will she teach about pleasure?
1:27–4:24
3
What parts make up the vulva and why is a puppet used for teaching?
4:24–8:30
4
How should you ask a partner about clitoral stimulation techniques?
8:30–13:22
5
Why is lubricant essential and how do you choose the right type?
13:22–17:29
6
What are the signs of an orgasm and how can beginners achieve one?
17:29–23:39
7
How do you handle a penis gently and avoid common mistakes?
23:39–26:24
8
What should beginners know about safe and enjoyable anal play?
26:24–26:51