Is the one night stand dead?
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What is the current state of one‑night stands after the pandemic?
This is an ABC podcast.
Do you feel good when you come home at night? Or do you feel like you just want to forget it, that you want to be so freaking drunk that you don't remember it the next morning so you don't even know what you did?
How do you feel about one night stands? Do they feel fun and sexually liberating? Or a bit like junk food? Turns out a deadly pandemic taking casual sex off the table for a couple of years has got people wondering if they really want to keep hitting and quitting it. So is this the death of the one night stand? I'm Nat Tanchich, and on this episode, the future of casual sex in a post-pandemic world. You'll learn why people are less keen on random hookups, the pros and cons of a one-night stand, and how to make a one-off lay a meaningful experience. So back to that first cue. Hot back summer is here, baby, and we're busting out of our houses to mingle again. But are you keen or are you feeling a bit off casual sex?
Several recent surveys from Australia and abroad have found singles are looking for more meaningful, committed relationships. One found that one in three Aussies are waiting longer to get between the sheets with someone and nearly half are less keen on one night stands than before the pandemic. while Match found that two in three singles want to wait until after the third date to have sex, and 81% of American men think sex is less important than they did pre-COVID. And hookup listeners are feeling it too.
I realized casual sex was pretty soulless, you know? Over lockdown, I took a lot of time to reflect on myself and what I want for myself. And yes, it's nice to have someone to just hold for the night, but Once you leave in the morning, you end up feeling just a little empty again. So I've taken the time to really look into myself and put time and more effort into my friends. And they're the people that I want to be around with. So casual sex is fun. Keep doing you if that's what you enjoy. But for me, I'm going to take a time out from all of that until I have someone I want to have a genuine connection with.
Hey, my name is Rosie. I live in Melbourne. I think that going through a pandemic has made me realize that stability and safety are sexy. I just don't feel like a one night stand or casual sex is worth it. And I feel like you can get all of the spontaneity and the excitement within a relationship with the added bonus of intimacy and connection that I am super craving after the past two years.
I love how empowering casual sex can be, but over lockdown, I had a ton of time to self-reflect, and it just made me realize that men tend to treat women as more of an object than a human being, and that's a major turnoff, and it takes a lot of fun out of it. Like, when you're having sex with someone, you want there to be that mutual respect, and I just felt like I wasn't getting that. So, yeah, it hasn't really been something I've been rushing back into since coming out of lockdown. Life's changed since lockdown. There were options for casual hookups or bubble buddies throughout the last couple of years in Melbourne but I really emerged now knowing that I'm looking for a real connection with someone and someone who wants a connection with me and if that's not around then I'd really rather just be hanging out with my friends.
So what's going on here? Lucy Walk is the founder of Normal, a sex wellness brand that conducted its own survey of Australian attitudes to sex and love coming out of lockdown. She says she found so many reasons behind the shift.
the most popular response is like, I want to get intimate, but I want to start slow. I'm anxious because it's so long since I've been intimate. I've forgotten how to socialize or flirt. So you sort of dive a little deeper into the comments and you can see some of those drivers. Like some people will speak to being like, oh, I've been in a serious sort of toxic relationship. So I'm scared to start dating again. Others will say something like I'm determined to take more time out for myself. Others will say, well, now I'm more careful about who I enter a relationship with because I've had that experience of being locked down.
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
What is the current state of one‑night stands after the pandemic?
0:02–6:44
2
How have recent surveys shown a shift away from casual hookups?
6:44–8:50
3
Why are many people choosing meaningful connections over random sex?
8:50–20:07
4
What did the Normal brand survey reveal about post‑lockdown intimacy preferences?
20:07–20:16